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Original poster

Mumsnet “norms” that annoy you most

1000 replies

usernamechanged1 · 31/03/2023 21:27

For me it’s the utterly obscure baby names. We’ve all seen them and I’m quite sure nobody uses them in real life. Yet on MN, it’s apparently standard.

Honourable mention to the 50% of posters whose husbands are earning upwards of £100K too.

OP posts:
ComeOnNumber100 · 01/04/2023 08:05

pictoosh · 01/04/2023 07:59

Absolutely not. He's a father now.

Show quote history

😂

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 01/04/2023 08:05

Maireas · 01/04/2023 06:20

The number of women waiting for a proposal. It makes me feel sad. It is such a regression that we're back to marriage being the gift of the man and decided by him. All these women waiting and hoping. No initiative, no joint discussion about the future. Just depressing.

Yes! Sadly, some of them eventually turn up on thr Relationships board saying 'Been together 30 years, 4 DC, I'm a SAHM although I do work in DP's business 40 hours a week but I don't have any shares in it. House is in his name only because I didn't have any income when we bought. We're splitting up now, what am I entitled to? .... No, we never got married. I wanted to but he always said let's wait till we've bought a house/got the business going/the kids are older ...'

daisychain01 · 01/04/2023 08:05

Ames85 · 31/03/2023 21:57

Man bashing. Husbands/partners must immediately be ditched for being anything other than perfect. Talking and working on relationships couldn’t possibly be a sensible solution

My DH went off on a cycling holiday that spanned our wedding anniversary.
he would rather go out with his mates than take our DS to the GP.
he has been on several international cycling holidays with no thought about how the DC will be cared for.

^ actual (and not atypical) description of the sort of man described on here.

That is NOT "man-bashing", they're knob specimens who are "anything other than perfect". The Relationships board is littered with them.

Interested in this thread?

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Families
bamboonights · 01/04/2023 08:06

LTB as an instant response. People are struggling to afford one household these days, so is a thoughtless suggestion to instantly split it into two really such a great idea on so many posts?

pictoosh · 01/04/2023 08:08

That controlling men are quickly identified but controlling women are excused.
That controlling mils are quickly identified but controlling dils are excused.

Maireas · 01/04/2023 08:09

Exactly this, @daisychain01 . It's not man bashing to want a partner to be an equal parent, or, heaven forfend, sacrifice part of a hobby for family life.
Too many women on here are single mothers yet are in a marriage. These women are doormats and pointing that out isn't being anti man.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 01/04/2023 08:09

MathsNervous · 01/04/2023 07:49

Didn't have to scroll too far in this thread anyway to find another thing that bugs me....

The overuse of the word ODD. Everything is odd. Odd odd odd.

See also: Grim. Especially 'weird and grim'.

feckingscrabble · 01/04/2023 08:10

'DP has left me with 6 children, one's disabled, I have no internet no food no car and no money.'

Retrain or start your own business!

x2boys · 01/04/2023 08:10

The assumption that everybody s child will be doing A levels and going to University post 16 , ,i.e. People saving up.for when their Toddlers,are at University,because of course they will all pass their A levels etc, I find it very narrow minded ,that people can't think or contemplate the many other options available to kids post 16.

OngoingCrisis · 01/04/2023 08:11

Step mothers being told they should love their step kids as their own but God forbid they disclipine them, usually someone will say something like "it's none of your business, they have two parents".

blebbleb · 01/04/2023 08:12

Most people have £1m pension pots at 40.

Daffodilwoman · 01/04/2023 08:14

Wanting ideas on how to go to their second cousins, step sons, half brothers, nieces, next door neighbours wedding which is 4 hours away. The poster has 6 kids 5 of whom have ‘severe disabilities’ and cannot be left with anyone other than the poster’s mother who happens to be dying. Hmmm just decline the invite like a normal person would.

x2boys · 01/04/2023 08:14

Maireas · 01/04/2023 07:23

That drives me mad. Or that we'd be thrilled with "afternoon tea", yeah, we won't go out after 7pm 🤔

Show quote history

Lol.,I'm 50 this year and looking into afternoon tea options ,but I do plan on continuing drinking after the tea.😂

Irecan · 01/04/2023 08:16

RashOfBees · 01/04/2023 02:39

Not really norms, but irritating phenomena that crop up regularly on here:

The pompous putting down of someone’s reading comprehension because they don’t agree with you or because you aren’t as good at conveying your meaning as you think you are.

’Actually, I regularly let homeless people live in my house’ - whenever someone says they don’t think another poster would like or do something and that poster instantly snaps back that they do, however unlikely or unusual.

Painting anyone who chats to colleagues or doesn’t mind socialising with them as a silly, needy extrovert.

Oh do mumsnetters hate extroverts too? In the pandemic, I posted asking for advice on something, I mentioned having a 1 hour zoom call on my birthday with some friends and some posters just couldn’t move past that and repeatedly commented on that and ignored my actual question, it all makes sense now.

so are mumsnetters mostly introverts? Wait, rich, bored and mean introverts?

Mistletoewench · 01/04/2023 08:16

TeenLifeMum · 31/03/2023 22:35

I look at the women I work with who are earning more than 100k and I can’t imagine any of them are mnetters. But obviously I could be wrong. In my world, earning £40-50k is a decent salary but in mn terms I think I’d get sympathy. Oh and you can only afford to live in London if you earn 6 figures… so the hospital band 2-8 staff, teachers, cleaners, waiters, shop assistants in London must all either live on the street in boxes or vaporise in between shifts.

😆😆

feckingscrabble · 01/04/2023 08:16

You shouldn't worry that you haven't seen your 18 y/o for 5 days, because he's an independent adult. Wow, just wow.

Maireas · 01/04/2023 08:16

x2boys · 01/04/2023 08:14

Lol.,I'm 50 this year and looking into afternoon tea options ,but I do plan on continuing drinking after the tea.😂

Show quote history

Make sure you take a cashmere cardi! It'll get chilly later.

Fizbosshoes · 01/04/2023 08:16

Suggesting people take in ironing or become a childminder as easy ways to earn money.

The former relies being in an area that has demand for that, and is not instant even if it did become profitable.

The 2nd requires registration fees, checks, following early years (curriculum?) and ensuring house and garden are secure/baby safe. Again not instant, costs money to start and isn't a quick or easy way to earn a living

BellePeppa · 01/04/2023 08:20

Kanaloa · 31/03/2023 23:23

See also: gently. ‘So I gently asked SIL not to punch my child in the face, and gently explained that it’s inappropriate, and she turned round and knocked me out!’

Why do people do everything sooooo gently?

Show quote history

Also, ‘Gently OP (followed by a blunt opinion).

patrickbatemansbusinesscard · 01/04/2023 08:20

The norm of having surveillance on your partner, child, friend... list goes on

'Oh but it's just so handy so I know when to pop dinner on for the hubs' god forbid that a grown ass man has to wait 10 mins for something to eat but that's not really why you have a stalking app is it Grin

monkeysmum21 · 01/04/2023 08:20

Every kid could go to a grammar school, they just choose not to. And every parent that put their kids through the 11+ are not thinking about the kid’s happiness.

MarvelMrs · 01/04/2023 08:21

Constant suggestions to leave a partner/spouse.
Until it is abusive then surely counselling or at the very least communicating is the first step. And I always note how one
sided the posts/conversations are as if the poster has no faults. As the mere observer we wouldn’t know but a counsellor would be able to
see/understand a more rounded view.

x2boys · 01/04/2023 08:22

loislovesstewie · 01/04/2023 06:12

If it's been said,sorry, but any quirk in child/husband getting the response ' its ASD' . I find it so tedious because mine do have ASD .

Yes it's really annoying as though it can be diagnosed by a mumsnetter,from a couple of posts on a thread ,and it minimises the very real disability it can be ,my child has autism and is severely disabled by it he is non verbal and will never live, independently ,but posters just casually throw it out as a suggestion .

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 01/04/2023 08:23

Every time a child does something out of the ordinary it’s autism and every time someone over fifty does something out of the ordinary, it’s dementia.

LorW · 01/04/2023 08:23

The ‘gifted’ children threads get right on my tits. If it’s not an OP who thinks her child is gifted because they can do the most basic of things, it’s the people jumping on with all the snarky responses telling an OP they can’t possibly have a gifted child because their child was able to do that even younger etc etc, when OP genuinely needs guidance.

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