Why do you think so many kids are so badly behaved?

[tikasaurois]

I'm mainly talking about high school age but I suppose kids of all ages are very different to when I was growing up (I'm 47) are we being too lax and not giving kids enough discipline? I'm a cleaner in a high school and honestly I find it disgusting how some children behave! Absolutely no respect or anyone or anything. Really rude, ignorant and downright disrespectful to everyone ( and I include the principal in this) why are the parents not doing more to reel their children in? Do parents not care? Are we as society failing these kids? Of course there are many wonderful well mannered children that are a pleasure to share company with but my question is why has behaviour deteriorated so much in schools and what can be done to help ?

@EmmatheStageRat Your children sound awesome. The difference is, despite their diagnosis, you likely still understand that their behaviour needs to be managed and that they need boundaries.

Sadly, too many parents see a (often self-diagnosed!) diagnosis of ADHD or ASD as a free ticket to do fuck all because they think it is to blame for their child's poor behaviour.

I've worked with many children with ADHD and ASD (and both) in a professional context. They can and will behave well, with the right provision in place.

@Blueflag22 Oh yeah, the knife guy, the one I remember, used to take lunch money of younger kids, little shit.
Also vividly remember addicts nodding out on streets, we used to be scared of them when younger, but eventually just got used to them. Put me off for life from any drugs, though. This thread brought back some insane childhood memories 😂
There were truly horrible kids, but there were lovely and kind kids too.
Parenting back then was also rather different to what it’s like now. We were largely left to our own devices. These days parents are actually seem to be making an effort to raise their kids.

I'm sure it depends on the school though. Not all children (teens) behave like that in all schools.

I have 9 and 7 year olds and when we go out for meals countless times we've been told by other customers (often times OAPs) how well behaved our kids are. We just enjoy our meals and conversations, they sometimes bring a book each, sometimes we play games if they's around in the restaurant.. we'd always thought that was normal, but apparently not these days.

When we went on holiday we noticed kids of all ages glued to their phones or screens or apparently they would play up. It was sad to see families all doing their own things looking at their phones and tablets.

Things have definitely changed since 30 years ago.

So what is causing the high levels of aggression, anti social behaviour, MH issues and substance abuse in our young people these days ?

I don’t think the behaviour is that new. When I was at school there were some horrifically behaved kids.

The big difference was the school was able to just kick them out. Then the next school, and the one after that. Once they got kicked out of all three people basically gave up on them and they didn’t go to school anymore or they were sent away to the special school. That doesn’t happen now.

The biggest difference in schools in the 15+ years I worked in them until recently is the gulf between the parents that don’t give a shit and the parents that demand more than the school can give.

perviously you had one or two of each end and then the majority of parents just left schools to get on with it. People were nowhere near as involved.

But levels aren't that high anymore. These things have declined massively. Teenagers and young people are much better behaved in many ways than they were in the past. What this thread shows is that either there is a gap between perception and reality, or some people have had experiences of young people which don't reflect the statistical trend.

It is normal, even these days

Guess it's normal for some and not for others! Think it's far more fun to be enjoying meals together rather than sitting together and going about their own business.

Yes, but you’re not remotely unusual in thinking that.

I was only posting in relation to the op, saying there are increasingly more children with bad behaviours...

So many people are afraid of upsetting their kids. I look at how my 3-year old niece speaks to her mum like she’s shit on her shoe and it makes me cringe.

‘No Mummy! I wanted the RED bowl!’
“oh sorry darling!’ scrapes cereal from blue bowl into red one.
’Mummy don’t sit there! I don’t want you to sit on that chair!’
’oh sorry darling!’ mum moves seats.

FFS! Use the word ‘no’. If any of mine had spoken to me, or anyone else like that they’d have been told off. Then these kids go to school and expect everything to revolve around them.

There has been behaviour that is challenging, if not downright unacceptable, since time began. I think that the advent and inescapable rise of social media has created a society that can’t return to a gentler ( for want of a better word) time. The genie is out of the bottle.

I’d say that the majority of people here have CCTV or a Ring bell. Everyone can see what’s going on outside all the time. Every day, there are videos on the local FB about teenagers messing about, causing damage to property etc and the time stamps are mostly between midnight and 2am. I don’t think that was something that happened when my children were that age. Do parents know? Do they care?

When I was teaching, being told to ‘fuck off’ was not unusual. Low level disruption in class was not unusual. There was higher level stuff too, like having books thrown at me, being throttled by my lanyard, a child who attempted to wrestle me to the ground. Two of those were by children who were ND and I could understand why, but others weren’t and simply wanted to cause disruption.

I live opposite a green space bordered by trees that are just coming into leaf. Last week, the trees had branches snapped and broken, left lying on the grass. What does anyone get from doing that? I don’t recall that happening when my children were youngsters and it’s not something anyone I knew as teenagers did either.

I don’t have answers, but I think society is breaking.

Did you grow up in a much nicer area than the one you taught at?

All of those things you experienced as a teacher were going on at the school I attended years ago. Teachers were regularly told to fuck off, barged into and on one occasion I witnessed a girl slap our teacher around the face.
Regular fights between students.
Smoking was commonplace on the school grounds.
I remember teenagers stealing mopeds in the middle of the night. Muggings. Vandalism.

Whereas my children's experience of school has been much more gentle! My children have never witnessed a fight. I asked my eldest (off the back of a thread on here) if any of the students vapid in the loos and he looked at my like I had grown three heads responding that of course not as they were children! When I ask my children if there are bullies in their schools they say no.

We know that violence amongst children is decreasing. We know that teenager drinking is decreasing. We know that teenage drug use is decreasing. We know that teenage pregnancies are decreasing.

No, I grew up in West Yorkshire in a working class family.

The school was in the South East, close to a very expensive area.

I guess the culture varies from school to school then. The behaviour at my children's school is far far better than that of the schools I attended.

I am a teacher specialising in behaviour. Often, I work with a child and then meet parents and some traits are instantly recognisable. Most parents suffer terrible mental health issues and expose their children to them. The majority of the issues that we have to overcome for the child are finding the right support for the child's parents. Attachment theory suggests that it repeats through generations so it goes without saying that 1 individual can reproduce a number of times and those children will likely have similar issues if both parents have insecure attachment.

Children also do not seem to know how to be bored. They are constantly seeking stimulation through devices. It will be interesting to see the science in a few years on how this has made permanent changes in our brains.

I'm late 50s and was chatting to a friend, late 60s only today about children's behaviour.
We have both worked extensively with children for decades.

We both agreed that there's been a complete sea change with regards to parenting.
The worst is seeing parents glued to their phones whilst the child is desperately trying to engage with parents.

Children's attention span is very poor.
Ten/fifteen years ago, a class of children would lap up a Disney film on the last day of term after their Christmas party , for example. Now , they cant sustain their interest and switch off after about twenty minutes.
So many teachers have noticed this.
Also, constantly flitting from one activity to another. There's little concentration on one activity anymore.

The only class activity that attracts children now is using the Promethean board to play a game.

Just an observation.

@GlassBunion - how very telling. I would also guess that the children who can sustain their attention are streets ahead academically those who cannot.

Too many useless parents having kids just for the sake of it rather than because they actually want to raise children into becoming fully formed adults.

IMO there needs to be restrictions on who is allowed to have children.

It must be the grandparents’ generation’s fault for raising such selfish and disengaged parents

It's a difficult one but some say kids are more aggressive time than older generation. My mum is in her 60's and and lovely. She says the same but she didn't use corporal.punishment on us.