Why do you think so many kids are so badly behaved?

[tikasaurois]

I'm mainly talking about high school age but I suppose kids of all ages are very different to when I was growing up (I'm 47) are we being too lax and not giving kids enough discipline? I'm a cleaner in a high school and honestly I find it disgusting how some children behave! Absolutely no respect or anyone or anything. Really rude, ignorant and downright disrespectful to everyone ( and I include the principal in this) why are the parents not doing more to reel their children in? Do parents not care? Are we as society failing these kids? Of course there are many wonderful well mannered children that are a pleasure to share company with but my question is why has behaviour deteriorated so much in schools and what can be done to help ?

@DownstairsMixUp i do see what you’re saying but really hate this phrase tho. For me, and maybe it’s just my opinion, it has undertones off “if you figure out what they are trying to communicate then the behaviour will improve”. But I don’t find that’s the case. Naming the emotion and “I understand you’re frustrated because of X” just doesn’t fucking work on all kids.

My 3 year old is angry, furious and hysterical most of the time. I know what’s she’s saying with her behaviour. She doesn’t like the rules/ boundaries like having to sit at the table for meals, she’s tired, she doesn’t like having a baby sibling, she doesn’t want the tv turned off. But I can’t change any of these things and ultimately she has to accept that’s life.

So true :(

Complete nonsense! They're just being badly behaved, not 'trying to tell you something.' They can talk, can't they? That's how people tell other people things. They use words.

For those that are talking about little toddlers, I honestly think they can be difficult because they are figuring out the world around them so it's not as much of a worry. I'm talking about kids that literally think their actions have no consequences, yet go crying when the slightest thing doesn't go their way!

Totally agree. I remember kids of my generation setting abounded houses/cars on fire, smashing windows with a football etc etc
End of 80s-early 90s were pretty rough times, actually.

@Bookworms77 thank you. I am going to get in touch with the health visitor, I have tried already twice but didn’t find it that useful. I do try all the techniques, it just seems to have no effect.

I disagree that behaviour is worse. I've worked in primary schools since the 1990s, and when I first started children swore at adults, threw chairs and climbed out of windows! Now, in equally challenging schools, these children are taught in bite sizes, 20 minutes of learning, followed by 20 minutes of activity.

Also, when my children were young, we could never afford to go to a cafe, restaurant of theatre. My oldest was 11 before we had a meal out. So they didn't have an opportunity to misbehave out. When we finally did take them out, it was a real occasion and they behaved like grown ups.

We do far too much, too soon now. I know I sound like and old gimmer, but honestly, we expect adult behaviour of our children.

Oh yawn. Unpleasant kids aren't a new phenomenon and tbh at least factors such as ADHD and other neurological disorders are taken into account now so there is some hope that troubled children won't end up in prison.

I work in a primary school and I'd say good parenting starts with a positive parent, one that gives up their time to interact and listen to their child. One that guides the child to help them make the right choices, to put in sanctions when the child pushes the boundaries (because all kids do!).

A lot of the time, with children that have serious behaviour issues, it's because they do not have that positive parent relationship. This can sometimes be because that parent has their own issues that have not been addressed (MH for example). Of course SEN also needs to be taken into account, and parents need support to navigate that. No-one wants a badly behaved child, it's how school and parents tackle it, which needs them to work together, that's key.

But in most cases I'd say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!

Honestly it is normal in a 3yr old, they are utter barbarians.

Try speaking in a quiet voice, don’t try to stop her mid tantrum she can’t hear you. When she’s calmed down give her a hug (I found creating a positive feedback loop improved my DD’s behaviour, I got quite negative with her because I was quite lost but showing her more warmth and love worked better). She’s now 3 and we don’t get the epic meltdowns anymore (literally can’t remember the last one).

Also make sure she knows that you will leave a place if she crosses a red line. The first few times will be painful, I carried my DD out of a restaurant while she was screaming and scratching my face (yes it was that bad) but eventually she got the point. Don’t make threats you are not willing to see through. Make sure she knows she can trust your word. 80% is just age and the inability to self regulate and it will get better. Make sure she knows you love her, after every fall out once everything is calm tell her you love her and its ok to get mad but not ok to do x.

DownstairsMixup

The teen who tells his teacher to fuck off when they are told to go out into the playground at break time is badly behaved. They may well live in a family where telling people to fuck off is OK. They also know that it isn't OK to tell a teacher to fuck off but they still do. What are they trying to communicate? That they have been badly brought up by inadequate parents? So what? They will eventually need to get a job where they can't tell their boss to fuck off. IWhen people work with the public and tell them to fuck off, do we say 'Oh it's OK. Behaviour is communication'? No we don't. The reason our secondary schools endure this behaviour is because as a society, we parrot rubbish like this and excuse it.

@h0rsewithn0name but all I would expect from teenagers is responsible and respectful behaviour. I find it can be very intimidating passing a large group of rowdy teenagers that think they can do and say as they please. Maybe I'm just a grinch in my older years

This

@Mumma had it in the fourth reply, imo.

Diet
Parents

They all have mental health issues and you can’t say no to them incase you upset or offend them or hurt their feelings. The pendulum has swung one way and it will swing back though. Probably triggered by a natural disaster or a war.

Also, how does the 'blame the parents' brigade explain 'naughty' kids whose parents do everything 'right?'

Today's teens are no different to when I was a teenager in the 80's when corporal punishment in schools was still legal.
I remember there being huge gangs of football hooligans, running battles with the school next door, drugs and knives. Same old same old. I have to deal with many rude entitled adults on any given day. There's always going to be cunts unfortunately.

People have always moaned about kids. Some people pretend it's a new issue.

There were knife and fist fights in my school playground when I was younger. There was arson. There were drugs taken. There was truancy, vandalism, theft, rudeness. None of these things are new.

Things are extra difficult now as all the support (police, youth services, social services, mental health services etc) has been cut. Teachers are working their arses off.

Too many parents can't parent their children, they want to be friends with their children, they don't want to ever say no to the spoiled little brats. They don't see that their little sod is a bad little bugger, they claim their little darling has undiagnosed SEN. Easy cop out for disgraceful parenting.

In a word, shit parenting.

Agree with this: There's always going to be cunts unfortunately.

People see discipline as abusive unfortunately. They don't realise that discipline is necessary.

This thread reads like a Daily Mail comments section 😆 so much black and white thinking and 'back in my day' bollocks.

Try working in a high school and you might just change your mind.