Why do you think so many kids are so badly behaved?

[tikasaurois]

I'm mainly talking about high school age but I suppose kids of all ages are very different to when I was growing up (I'm 47) are we being too lax and not giving kids enough discipline? I'm a cleaner in a high school and honestly I find it disgusting how some children behave! Absolutely no respect or anyone or anything. Really rude, ignorant and downright disrespectful to everyone ( and I include the principal in this) why are the parents not doing more to reel their children in? Do parents not care? Are we as society failing these kids? Of course there are many wonderful well mannered children that are a pleasure to share company with but my question is why has behaviour deteriorated so much in schools and what can be done to help ?

"The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households."

Quote by Socrates (469–399 B.C.E.)

I also went to school 80' s drinking and smoking went on in schools , fights between neighbouring schools , i remember loads been suspended sniffing tippex thinners-

I can also remember teachers One died glue sniffing, one done for shoplifting , one suicide , one ended up in the sunday sport having sex with a minor.

I think people have road tinted glasees -

My teen is unpleasant- has adhd ( it is diagnosed incase anyone assumes i am also self diagnosing) , was never raised with excuses for his behaviour. I think tbh him and his friends are far more pressure than we were . They still have nothing to do, i don't think they are worse .

@Anycolouryoulike definitely not my kids and I say that without any doubt.

This is bollocks. 80% my arse.

Yes, they are trying to tell you thatbthey know that they will get away with that behavior.

The kids I know who are little sh!ts have been exposed to things at a far too young age. DS is 8 and has friends who have been playing Minecraft since they were 5, watching 15 rated movies etc. They're violent to each other, swear etc and it's fairly obvious where it comes from. Parents seem to want their kids to grow up far too quickly.

You should have seen the game I played when I was a kid in the 90s. It had strippers with their tits out and if you pressed the space bar you could give them cash, piss on them and kill them! 😱

My mum had no qualms letting me play that! She's lucky I turned out wonderful 😂

Funny that.

@carriedout ok let my quantify that statement. 80 per cent of kids in the area I cover

Shit permissive parenting and parents making excuses due to mental health and neurodiversity. It's absolute bollix. Every child is capable of dealing with being told 'no' and doing what they're told. And if they don't behave? Remove the phone, devices etc... Parents are too lazy and useless to discipline.

@Anycolouryoulike why is that funny ? It's true.

Shit parenting, which also comes from bad parenting.

Modern life gives a lot of choice. You can placate children with computer games, screens, junk food etc and it makes your own life easier. Do it a lot or all the time and it's emotional neglect.

It's really true that children give others what you give them. If you don't give them a lot of structure to help them deal with other people they will not get it by themselves. Schools cannot do this.

Some parents really think that giving their child everything, in an uncritical way, is supportive.

This is why I once saw a child at school wearing a sash and tiara as it was her birthday. That is ridiculous but it is the patent who is making this monster.

@TwoGorgeousKids Did you pull 80% out of your arse or do you have actual data for that wonderful bit of data analysis? Just wondering! Are your two gorgeous kids included in the 80%?

👏👏👏👏

Around 80% of my friends chose to go down the attachment patenting route which evolved into parenting with very little traditional discipline. The word “no” is frowned upon. Consequences like losing tech is unheard of. Everything is talked through with their DC and no decisions made without their input. These are university educated women who read many, many parenting books but whose DC are truly badly behaved.

Kids know there's no real consequences to their actions! What can a teacher ( or any adult) do really? So yes if there's kids that want to play up, they absolutely will because there's not one thing a teacher can do other than send them out of class or give them a detention

Can you imagine how much things would change if bad behaviour was fined ... 🙈🤣🙈

Before we decide all kids are screwed for the rest of their careers, how long has behaviour been like this? Op hasn't been a pupil for 30 years, so somewhere in this period. Are the young people entering the workforce now really the last of good kids or did their teachers think they were as bad as kids now?

A lot of parents believe whatever their child tells them about what happens in school. It's often lies. I saw a teenager make monkey noises at a black student and reported it straight away. The perpetrator told his dad he did no such thing and his dad believed him.

I’m also horrified by the behaviour I’m seeing with my youngest’s peers. I have never been afraid of saying no and have reasonably well behaved children despite one having ADHD and ASD and one having ADHD.

examples: one child tried being rude to a teacher who in their words, “didn’t respect them” I was very clear, no they don’t because they’re 13 and teachers don’t respect 13 year olds and neither do they need to. And I made said child write apology to teacher. Has never and will never happen again

same child called me from school on a friends phone that their phone had been confiscated as they were using it when not allowed and could I tell the teacher to give it back to them. My response, you misbahve, you take the consequences. You don’t need the phone, I drop and pick you up from the same place, you’ll find me. Never happened again;

I simply tolerate it. I say to them, I have few rules but manners and respect are utterly non negotiable

There's really is only so much you can do about a child misbehaving though isn't there? Tell them nicely, get angry and shout, try to use natural consequences, take away screen time, confiscate all their stuff, ground them... if that still doesn't stop the behaviour, what next?

Poor parenting, advancing technology meaning children spend more time indoors on screens and not engaging in activities with their parents at crucial stages, the inability of school staff to effectively discipline children because of constant fear of parental backlash and the constant whipping out of ‘labels’ that parents think give children excuses for poor behaviour.

My own experience of 1980s secondary school was a rough as hell one, with boys getting their penis out in lessons, stabbings, pregnancies, smoking, uncontrollable classes. There are lots of well loved well behaved children about today, as there was in the 80s. However parents are stretched thinly today. Massive financial pressures, large mortgages and bills. Gone are the days when there was a stay at home parent, enabling the working parent to go light on chores, allowing lots of undivided attention. The pressure on children is massive too, with an ill fitting unbalanced curriculum. Also screens and media exposure has shaped both adults and children today. People are exposed to abuse, violence, self harm through screens regularly.

The behaviour was far far worse at the schools I attended than any my own children have attended.
In primary school I remember a boy throwing a chair across the classroom . I knew all the swear words by 8 from school. Boys smoking in year 6.
In secondary school there were regular fights, a teacher got slapped by a girl and lessons were chaos.
I can't believe how well ordered my children's schools are in comparison!

@Dreamysaurus no my kids are not included in the 80 per cent. They are by no means perfect but they know how to be respectful to teachers and peers and definitely would not swear at adults like our team has to put up with when we go into high schools.
And the 80 per cent is based on lived experience and observations of schools that I go into every single day

Yeah I remember this too, cars on fire, a knife pulled out on us walking back from school to show us how hard this guy was. Early 90's. Swearing at teachers. The only thing that's different is a teacher kicked a boy for coming up to his face and swearing at him. No action was taken on the teacher and the boy was suspended and his dad thanked teachers for their discipline. This boy is a now a man with his own business , kids abs and is very nice and laughs when he speaks of what happened. This was a old fellow school friend. I saw fights, drugs and allsorts of bad things too. It's not just now and this generation. I've met lovely polite kids and teenagers as well.

No, it really isn’t. Jeez, I feel like SpecialNeeds Woman, with my knickers over my tights tonight, challenging all the ableist talk. I’m a single adopter, twice over, and both of my children have ASD and ADHD. We have no TV, we don’t over stimulate and my girls have a brilliant sleep routine. My elder DD(15) is currently in Year 10 at a super-selective grammar school (apparently the pinnacle of achievement for MN) so either she is a genius or I am a ‘successful’ parent, or, you know, maybe a balance between the two.