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Original poster

Sat on my own on holiday ....boyfriend made new friends

342 replies

balconygirl · 30/03/2023 17:33

I'm on holiday with my boyfriend of 2 years.
It's meant to be a romantic holiday
Had a brilliant morning
Then he talks to anyone
He started talking to this couple with their kids
All afternoon he has chatted with them
I have sat there -he hasn't said a word
He's organising to meet them tonight and keep spaces around the pool tomorrow

I said I'm going to room to have a shower
He has stated writhed the pool with them

I'm not excited for the few days ahead now
Am I being silly ?
I don't want to spend my holiday with strangers
I'm just not that type of person

OP posts:
Wheresthebeach · 30/03/2023 22:49

JeannieAlogy · 30/03/2023 20:20

I'd suggest he has been a bit nasty given that he's
A. Ignored you
B. Made plans that don't include you (or at least don't appear to do so)
C. Got drunk
D. Told you you're the problem

Show quote history

I bet he’s the one who’s told you he doesn’t have a nasty bone in his body…all the time he’s being nasty to you. Blaming you, ignoring you, and threatening to go home if you don’t smile nicely and put up with his bullshit are all nasty behaviours

bagofdogshit · 30/03/2023 22:49

God he's embarrassing. And a prick.

Tryphenia · 30/03/2023 22:50

OP, this is Mn, which is overwhelmingly populated by the socially maladroit and ‘introverts’ (who aren’t generally speaking introverts at all, just shy and withdrawn), who can’t handle the school run, never answer the door, and regard groups of people talking to one another as hostile ‘cliques’. Hence the exaggerated horror at your boyfriend talking to people on holiday, and the suggestions that he must be a paedophile targeting this family’s children. Because that would be less odd than someone who is just very sociable, and doesn’t regard other people with fear and suspicion..

You and your boyfriend are just socially incompatible. Neither of you is wrong. His responses to you subsequently are unpleasant, though.

NavyKitchen · 30/03/2023 22:50

Should have read the full thread. Dh likes to make friends while I hide behind my book and avoid eye contact. That’s where the similarity ends though…

Codlingmoths · 30/03/2023 22:54

Like other posters I can see the nasty in him very clearly! You should never be in a relationship where you are the person your partner treats the worst. Great he’s nice to everyone ELSE, He should be the nicest to you.

Courgeon · 30/03/2023 23:05

Bimblybomeyelash · 30/03/2023 22:15

Urgh my worst nightmare is making holiday friends. But I am an unsociable introvert. When I was 20 and holidays were about getting drunk and staying up all night, it was fun to meet random people and have adventures. But sitting around the pool chatting to Rob, Sandra and their teenage kids sounds like hell on Earth.

Completely agree with this. Was fun in Ibiza in the 90s at 4am with randoms now I can't stand it. My DH is extremely sociable but I am not, it drives me mad when we go to weddings, birthdays, events etc and he literally just goes off talking to people leaving me standing on my own. I cant stand it on holiday either, it's clear when we're away and "just us" he gets bored.

I wish I'd picked up on this earlier to be honest. Don't end up married with kids to someone with whom you're essentially incompatible.

Hawkins00 · 30/03/2023 23:11

balconygirl · 30/03/2023 19:52

He just loves people
He loves people thinking he is great
He doesn't have a nasty bone in his body
He just wants people to think he's great
He's done this before with couples etc

Seems like he would be a good fit for a civil service asset.

SchoolTripDrama · 30/03/2023 23:13

So now you've also discovered he has a drinking problem.
Honestly, I'd pack my stuff whilst he's asleep and head home.

LTB!

SchoolTripDrama · 30/03/2023 23:16

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LoisLane66 · 30/03/2023 23:17

Maybe your boyfriend is more outgoing. You have no more right to expect him to cling to you than he has to expect to spend huge swathes of time with strangers.
I can see your point but I'm on his side. I talk to anyone and everyone and my AC wonder how I can get on with strangers as if I've known them since birth.
You either aren't really compatible or you'll both have to compromise.

Ktime · 30/03/2023 23:18

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Why?

WilsonMilson · 30/03/2023 23:18

I must be a very unsociable person, but I can’t think of anything worse on holiday and luckily my DH is the same, we just want to be together. We spend enough of our working lives having to be sociable, holidays are our time.

This is why we keep talking ourselves out of going on a cruise because of the potential for forced social interactions with strangers you cannot escape from on a boat! I don’t mind a nod and some brief pleasantries but fuck having to spend actual time with complete strangers on a holiday.

OP I’d just do your own thing and to shit with him. Your DP sounds a bit of a twat and there are some fundamental differences in your personalities that might be difficult to overcome in the longer term.

Dreamingofasandybeach · 30/03/2023 23:20

omg my partner is exactly the same and still doesn't learn his lesson. Always gets chatting away then we regret it when the couples end up to be bat shit crazy 🤣 (we've witnessed all couples end up having arguments 😫🤣) Honestly it's happened 3 times when we've been on a holiday and he instantly regrets it. I just blame it on the sunshine and booze - he just gets too excited.

I wouldn't just mope about though love, tell him to include you too but try and get him to drop the whole saving space around the pool for them. My partner always includes me though and doesn't ignore me if he does end up chatting to people so try and nip that shit in the bud.

I'm sure the couple just want to enjoy their holiday in peace, especially if they are with kids so I doubt they'll take him up on his offer.

determinedtomakethiswork · 30/03/2023 23:23

He sounds like a piss head who likes the company of other people much more than he likes the company of his own partner. He sounds as though he is immature and attention seeking. Have your holiday make your plans for when you return.

Sandra1984 · 30/03/2023 23:26

balconygirl · 30/03/2023 17:38

Oh I don't mind having a chat at all but 3 hours I've sat on my Todd
Last night was lovely and now tonight il be sat with a random family

You don't "have to" sit with a random family OP, just tell your BF you had enough of them yesterday, that's not your idea of fun and instead you're going for a walk/ice cream/sight seeing, then go and do it. Don't be nasty or passive aggressive about it, just be factual. The reason one goes on holiday is to enjoy themselves not the opposite. If your BF has a problem with it Oh well... he never asked you how you felt about spending the evening with a family of strangers, why does he assume that's your idea if fun?

Dreamingofasandybeach · 30/03/2023 23:30

Sorry OP I didn't see your comments where you'd mentioned he'd ended up getting really pissed and passed out asleep. that's not on at all. I wouldn't be comfortable with someone who did that - totally ruins the holiday.

I hope you have a lovely relaxing evening and I hope he has a banging headache tomorrow and gets the shits from ice in his drinks so he can't be a nuisance anymore for you. (or other holiday makers)

hopefully this is just a one off and he doesn't do this anymore on this holiday. alcohol and sunshine doesn't go well together at all.

DannyZukosSmile · 30/03/2023 23:32

Your boyfriend sounds very annoying.

Blossomtoes · 30/03/2023 23:33

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Why?

Sandra1984 · 30/03/2023 23:33

balconygirl · 30/03/2023 17:56

He's came back up to the room really drunk and said I'm ruining the holiday
And doesn't know what my problem is
Says he wants to go home -slavering on

He's the one ruining your holiday and not the other way round. Sound like you guys are incompatible. Nothing like travelling with a partner to REALLY get to know each other. I've broken up with a few boyfriends after a trip because I realised we were not compatible. Travelling is a great test for couples.

mdinbc · 30/03/2023 23:41

Please do keep us posted... hoping he is very hungover and apologetic.

IsaiditwasLighthearted · 30/03/2023 23:48

@SchoolTripDrama how is greensleeve's tale of her woeful ex's behaviour worthy of reporting? She's just sharing another experience of a (bad) relationship? I don't know why you think it's disgusting?

Fraaahnces · 30/03/2023 23:57

Sounds like he’s a pretty nasty drunk to me. Just saying my DH did this to me about a month after we returned from our honeymoon at a friend’s wedding. I told him he had two choices - a counsellor or a solicitor, as I hadn’t married THAT person and I’d rather be happy and single than married and miserable. It was 20 years ago. He hasn’t done it again.

SemperIdem · 31/03/2023 00:12

Tryphenia · 30/03/2023 22:50

OP, this is Mn, which is overwhelmingly populated by the socially maladroit and ‘introverts’ (who aren’t generally speaking introverts at all, just shy and withdrawn), who can’t handle the school run, never answer the door, and regard groups of people talking to one another as hostile ‘cliques’. Hence the exaggerated horror at your boyfriend talking to people on holiday, and the suggestions that he must be a paedophile targeting this family’s children. Because that would be less odd than someone who is just very sociable, and doesn’t regard other people with fear and suspicion..

You and your boyfriend are just socially incompatible. Neither of you is wrong. His responses to you subsequently are unpleasant, though.

Out of curiosity- what does being “an introvert” mean to you?

Thelnebriati · 31/03/2023 00:31

@balconygirl Your BF made sure he was the centre of attention, was pleasant to everyone else for strokes and was then nasty to you. That makes me wonder if he has narc tendencies.

''Narcissists often become more challenging to be around during the holidays. Year-end holidays are about connection, appreciation, and giving — values that are the opposite of narcissists' core needs of attention, admiration, and entitlement.''
https://duckduckgo.com/?q=narcs+get+worse+while+on+holiday&t=operav&ia=web

narcs get worse while on holiday at DuckDuckGo

DuckDuckGo. Privacy, Simplified.

https://duckduckgo.com/?ia=web&q=narcs+get+worse+while+on+holiday&t=operav

mustgetoffmn · 31/03/2023 00:38

jjeanii · 30/03/2023 17:37

That's not right at all . I would say something to him definitely.

Yes I would feel the same as OP. Unfortunately saying something doesn’t really help because the disappointment isn’t solved. Sounds like this is how he is and it’s not nice to discover the difference between you when you’re away. I’d say something after the break. Break might be the operative word unfortunately