PTA members bitched about my child.. M

[Mommymoments]

To start with when the dc joined the school I went to a couple of the meetings but as a new mum to the area & no other new parents attending the established clique excluded me.
As the years have gone by it turns out I have "those children" the ones who win the awards, get the leads in plays, solo pieces on their instruments & two of my daughters have been Mary.
The schools spring concert is this weekend & my three all have big roles.. I heard back from my sil who was on a pta night out that there was three disgruntled parents who said DH & I do nothing for the school & can't understand why our dc get such preferential treatment..
To clarify we contribute all our fees, also bake lots for the cake sale.

Maybe they genuinely think that OP? That they don't warrant the roles they seem to get?

Most parents think their DC are brilliant. Maybe they think their DC far outshine your DC and can't work out why it's your DC always on show.

I guess when you've got 3, one is always going to be playing a part somewhere, so maybe it just seems like your kids are everywhere, I dunno.

My experience of private schools is that the parents with multiple fee invoices to keep the school running DC are given deliberate preference over single or smaller families. This certainly pisses off some parents, and I can see why.

They have the odd bitch about you.

You're obsessed.

As others have noted, and the more you say on this thread, the fact these people happen to be on the PTA is nothing to do with why you and your DC are unpopular.

I can see why this is annoying for you, but I’m not sure what you can do about it.
unless you are going to directly approach the parent who made the comments to ask her why she is talking badly about you, then there is not much else to do??

Try your best to let it go. Bitchiness is a sign of someone either being jealous or having fuck all else interesting to say.

I think some PTA get this horrible negative vibe. Not all just some. It’s weird.

For what it’s worth I do very little for the PTA. I join in their activities but I’m not volunteering or organising anything because I simply don’t want to and don’t have time to. I wouldn’t expect to be bitched about for it.

Well… I’ve never heard a parent bragging their child was a rat or a sheep in their school nativity. Have you? Yet every parent seems to relish their child having the part of Mary or Joseph…

Mine have been a member of “the school choir”, a Christmas present, a goat, an innkeeper, an Angel (a few of them). THE Angel Gabriel, an alien, a robot, A townsfolk, narrator, Christmas cracker, Jack Frost, a dancer, a reindeer, a Christmas tree, a star, … and everything else inbetween. Not all roles have lines to say but every role is needed to make a stage production.

I just don’t get why parents covert the Mary/Joseph role. Why?🤷🏻‍♀️

Was it that bad?

To me it was... What type of asshole turns & rolls it's eyes & smirks at a 9 year old about to play piano at the school Christmas concert ?

In fairness you answered your own question, arseholes do that. Only you can answer why you have decided to give this head space for, if I read your earlier post correctly, a couple of years. They are arseholes, the world is full of them, your family are healthy and thriving, what’s the issue that you are still thinking about them???

Well my sil was out at the weekend with the PTA & they were bitching about my children getting picked for parts & prizes when DH & I do "nothing for the school".

So go talk to the person making the comments. Maybe that would help?

Have you ever addressed any of their behaviour with any of them? If not I wonder if that is why you are ruminating on it.

So what!

You've got problems here, you're life and everything in it can't be perfect. I think you want it to be and I think that's what p's people off around you.

Chill a bit. It doesn't matter what other people think of you.

I always find it hilarious when people on here suggest that children whose parents are on the PTA get chosen for things; none of the teachers I work with know, nor care, who is on the PTA.
Also, for our year 6 production the children audition and we choose the best children for the roles; we don't know/remember/care who had main parts in previous years.

So what? Laugh at them, take your husband’s viewpoint as your guide. They are pathetic. If you can’t do that then confront them, though you’ll get nothing out of that other than a sense of vengeance 🤷‍♀️ Up to you

@DietrichandDiMaggio thank you. The teachers in dc's school have never chosen the PTAs kids in dc's class for anything significant as far as I am aware. The parts are chosen purely on ability & the productions are very impressive.

Just thought I'd start a chat to see if our pta are in the minority or majority in that they feel because of their contributions their children should be given preferential treatment.

The problem is that they have some ground for complaining as it’s not right to choose the same DC always. They were wrong to approach it as you were the issue, no, it’s completely teacher’s fault. But you do give out a wrong vibe somehow, your DC might not be the best performers at school, you know, the others might be a bit too shy but have angelic voices. And their parents might be upset about their lack of chance.
Maybe try to be more understanding. If there is no bullying involved, it’s not a big deal.

Did your SIL not say anything to them at the time?
And yes there always does to seem to be one family whose kids seem to get every part/speech/ role.
It does get noticed ( even if you aren't on the PTA). It's more of a sigh ( omg it's another one of that family - playing the bloody violin this time). Wake me up when it's over.
One naughty friend once whispered in my ear "I bet they just made that award up to have something to give her ". I admit to snickering quietly. I never saw another kid get that award "most likely to succeed in high school" or something. BTW - that particular child didn't succeed in high school so don't count your chickens just yet OP.
Move on and take lots of videos that you can play at their 18th and embarrass them with their dodgy haircut or whatever. Or post on facebook. People love watching videos of other peoples primary school kids playing musical instruments! Truly.

Absolutely I agree that my dc may not be the best at all. I have no idea of the other children's abilities & their abilities are none of my business. That's up to their parents & teachers to discover & nourish.

Yes she did. She said DH (her brother) & I are carting them around the county every night & weekend to jnr orchestra & musical theatre. That we spend a fortune & dc work so hard & love what they do.

One of my dd's had a piano solo at Christmas & my DH has a video of one of the parents turning around to another pta parent & rolling his eyes about my child
Really?
Why was you dh filming anyone other than your child? That's just weird.

I’d catch bitchy mum on her own and ask if it is an official pta position that the school shouldn’t care about supporting children to achieve and that only PTA parents children should get awards and solos. I’m just asking because there are a lot of parents not on the pta who might see the school differently if that really is the policy.

It was a piano solo which meant my own child was on stage on her own obviously! Explain where I said other children were on stage??? No other children in sight.. Rude pta man was seated 2 rows in front

winter & summer fair, auctions, comedy night, bingo night, quiz night, DD donations, Amazon charity donations, magic show night. A lot of work!

@Sdgrth amazing work. That's a huge amount!

Mommymoments · Yesterday 16:33

To me it just seems that they are on the PTA to get special treatment for their dc & it's not quite working out..

Well, tough shit to them. They sound like really nasty pieces of work, getting on a board to further their kids, even though they haven't got the aptitude.

Mummy and daddy will probably get them jobs they can't do, when they're older, so other people have to carry them.

Try not to pay them much mind.