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Original poster

PTA members bitched about my child.. M

158 replies

Mommymoments · 30/03/2023 16:10

To start with when the dc joined the school I went to a couple of the meetings but as a new mum to the area & no other new parents attending the established clique excluded me.
As the years have gone by it turns out I have "those children" the ones who win the awards, get the leads in plays, solo pieces on their instruments & two of my daughters have been Mary.
The schools spring concert is this weekend & my three all have big roles.. I heard back from my sil who was on a pta night out that there was three disgruntled parents who said DH & I do nothing for the school & can't understand why our dc get such preferential treatment..
To clarify we contribute all our fees, also bake lots for the cake sale.

OP posts:
Keeween · 30/03/2023 21:24

Oh who gives a fuck what some small minded people say or think? You know your kids are the best, and that’s what matters.

Original poster
Mommymoments · 30/03/2023 21:27

pizzaHeart · 30/03/2023 18:24

They were not bitching about your kids in this particular conversation, they were bitching about you and your DH. As it seems your family gets more than average from the school but put back less than average. I don’t know your full circumstances but in some schools there is indeed this focus on community spirit and participation. So if you are not involved it doesn’t look good. Also they’ve raised a valid point OP about who’s got leading roles, they were wrong to blame it on you of course, it’s the question for teachers , but unfairness sucks. I would ignore it, if there were no complaints from your kids. You were not counting on being best friends with these mums anyway as it seemed.

When the dc1 first started school as a new mum to the area (DH from here) I went to a couple of the meetings but the clique was well established with older children & I wasn't welcome & my contributions fell on deaf ears so I didn't go back.
When it comes to fundraising events we will always donate a decent prize, bake plenty on cake sale day, pay any dues their collecting basically support whatever is going on without actually organising...

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Original poster
Mommymoments · 30/03/2023 21:29

Sassyfox · 30/03/2023 19:33

I don’t like when the same children get the main roles and it seems your DCs regularly get the main roles which would be unfair to all of the other children.

I also don’t like when parents volunteer as school just to get their kids more preferable roles.

It is not yours or your DCs fault if they keep getting chosen for the main roles and so there’s nothing you can really do about it apart from ignore them.

It's the teachers choice at the end of the day, DH & I have feck all to do with it..

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Lou670 · 30/03/2023 21:30

I always go by the mantra of - what anyone thinks of me or my children really is none of my business. Just stay in your own lane and don't worry about anyone else. My children left school many years ago but I remember the PTA well and avoided it! They all seem to have to have a certain mentality and I didn't want/need to be involved in it!

ancientgran · 30/03/2023 21:31

Mommymoments · 30/03/2023 17:46

How exactly have I boasted? My kids are being bitched about & are thought undeserving of school accolades. I have described (not in indepth detail) their achievements. But as neither dh or I are on the PTA they are deemed undeserving by those who think their dc are entitled to prizes & parts as payment for their pta work.

Show quote history

It isn't your kids fault but the teachers are wrong if they are constantly picking the same children. I think it is quite lazy as they seem to think "Jane was good int he play last year so she can have a part, Mary didn't get a chance last year so I don't know if she'd be any good so I won't give her a part." Not all teachers obviously but it is a pattern with some teachers/schools. It isn't a Hollywood blockbuster, give some other kids a chance.

I don't think it is anything to do with PTA they just happened to be together could have been for anything.

Original poster
Mommymoments · 30/03/2023 21:33

Nightlystroll · 30/03/2023 21:24

I see on here lots of support for parents when they moan about the same children always being picked for things or winning things whilst other children never get anything. I thought the MN ethos is that everyone should have a turn at being chosen to do things?

But maybe if the PTA parents want their dc's to have more of a shot they need to be spending their time, money & energy carting their dc off to orchestra & musical theatre?

OP posts:
Vintagecreamandcottagepie · 30/03/2023 21:34

Maybe you and your dc's are a wee bit annoying and that's why you're getting excluded and bitched about?

Your last comment is telling.

ancientgran · 30/03/2023 21:36

Mommymoments · 30/03/2023 21:33

But maybe if the PTA parents want their dc's to have more of a shot they need to be spending their time, money & energy carting their dc off to orchestra & musical theatre?

Show quote history

So punish the children for what their parents do or don't do?

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 30/03/2023 21:37

But maybe if the PTA parents want their dc's to have more of a shot they need to be spending their time, money & energy carting their dc off to orchestra & musical theatre?

Your children shouldn't be getting lead roles all the time. That is unfair to the other kids. Sounds like the mums have a point.

Original poster
Mommymoments · 30/03/2023 21:39

@Vintagecreamandcottagepie I work full time so I'm not at the school to see any of the PTA. My dc have their own friends & have no issues at all with the PTA kids except for the comment a couple of years ago where a kid said "you don't deserve the part, your parents do nothing to help our school"🙄 but that was it & dc didn't give a shit just told us.

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Taytocrisps · 30/03/2023 21:39

Op don't give it (or them) any head space. In a few short years your DC will be out of school and you won't have anything to do with these parents. When you look back at this time, it will all be a hazy memory. Enjoy the concert and I hope your DC have fun.

PurpleParrots · 30/03/2023 21:40

My GS was Joseph this year. He wasn’t happy about it. I’m not surprised. He had nothing to say. He just had to stand there with Mary and a doll, with everyone around him having lines.

Donkey, on the other hand, was hilarious! 😂

Why are the parts of Mary and Joseph so coveted by parents? I’ve seen many Nativity Plays. Mary and Joseph have always been the most boring roles 🥱

JenniferBarkley · 30/03/2023 21:42

They were letting off steam on a night out. I would be astounded if you haven't done similar in the past, and probably occasionally even knew deep down you weren't being entirely fair. I can't think of a single person I know who isn't guilty of this on occasion.

Let it go.

Original poster
Mommymoments · 30/03/2023 21:42

@PurpleParrots M&J sing in our nativity.. Little Donkey is one of Mary's solos😁

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PhillySub · 30/03/2023 21:48

From what you have said the other parents are peed off because you drop off your fees, children and cakes and walk away. The rest of them get involved.

PurpleParrots · 30/03/2023 21:55

Mommymoments · 30/03/2023 21:42

@PurpleParrots M&J sing in our nativity.. Little Donkey is one of Mary's solos😁

“The School Choir” and ‘assemble’ sing ‘Little Donkey’ (and everything else) in every school nativity I’ve ever seen.

PurpleParrots · 30/03/2023 21:55
  • ensemble (ie everyone)
Sdgrth · 30/03/2023 22:06

Ridiculous. As someone on the school PTA, which raised £60k last year, your comments are ridiculous. So much hard work goes into raising money for underfunded schools like ours. Many of us have full-time jobs. I have never heard anyone comment about the kids or any plays. Who cares who got the part in a school play?! Instead of complaining of nonsense, volunteer at the school and if you feel that the members of the PTA are horrible to your children, raise it with the governors. Get a grip

Original poster
Mommymoments · 30/03/2023 22:07

PhillySub · 30/03/2023 21:48

From what you have said the other parents are peed off because you drop off your fees, children and cakes and walk away. The rest of them get involved.

As do all the other parents who are not on the PTA. Are their kids being bitched about too?

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neilyoungismyhero · 30/03/2023 22:13

PurpleParrots · 30/03/2023 21:40

My GS was Joseph this year. He wasn’t happy about it. I’m not surprised. He had nothing to say. He just had to stand there with Mary and a doll, with everyone around him having lines.

Donkey, on the other hand, was hilarious! 😂

Why are the parts of Mary and Joseph so coveted by parents? I’ve seen many Nativity Plays. Mary and Joseph have always been the most boring roles 🥱

My son was a rat and a sheep different years...didn't have much of a speaking part either..

Original poster
Mommymoments · 30/03/2023 22:18

Sdgrth · 30/03/2023 22:06

Ridiculous. As someone on the school PTA, which raised £60k last year, your comments are ridiculous. So much hard work goes into raising money for underfunded schools like ours. Many of us have full-time jobs. I have never heard anyone comment about the kids or any plays. Who cares who got the part in a school play?! Instead of complaining of nonsense, volunteer at the school and if you feel that the members of the PTA are horrible to your children, raise it with the governors. Get a grip

I have no problem with the work they do, they do immense work for the school. But why begrudge my children their achievements on the basis that DH & I do nothing for the school.. To me that's implying that they expect preferential treatment.

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CornishTiger · 30/03/2023 22:31

@Sdgrth totally derailing but how on earth did you raise 60k in a year. That’s epic

Nightlystroll · 30/03/2023 22:32

But maybe if the PTA parents want their dc's to have more of a shot they need to be spending their time, money & energy carting their dc off to orchestra & musical theatre?

Clearly if a child can't even play the recorder, they're not going to be in the orchestra. I was just surprised how different the responses were on here to usual, that's all. Normally, it's full of it's not fair that those who are best win everything. It's not the other children's fault if they're not good. But the less gifted should be able to get leads so everyone gets a turn.
So in your orchestra instead of your child getting solos all the time, the usual outcry is that everyone should get a chance to do a solo.
I have no children at school so I don't really care either way because, fortunately, I don't have to listen to any of it.

Vintagecreamandcottagepie · 30/03/2023 22:39

You've gotten obsessed by this!

You are the problem. Going on and on about yourself and your kids, you sound awful.

You have it in for them, leave them be and get on with your life for crying out loud.

Original poster
Mommymoments · 30/03/2023 22:41

No I started a thread highlighting how the PTA parents are pissed off mine get chosen..

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