A lighthearted thread: Reasons why MNers would hate you IRL

[BouncerFish]

I’ll go first.

I have a dog.

and I drive an SUV… which I can’t park very well.

hides in shame

I speak directly to my neighbours about parking issues. No threads. No diagrams. No notes. Just a quick chat and it's sorted. Shameful.

I live in Australia

I hated breastfeeding and bottlefed all my children.
I use dry shampoo.
I don’t answer the door unless I am expecting someone.
I buy all branded goods from Supermarket.
I tip every takeaway delivery driver every time and they call a lot ( teenagers and their friends are the majority of this but we order one a week too)
A chicken lasts one meal here anything left goes to the cats.
I think anyone who shits when someone else is in the bathroom is vile.
I think Ed Sheeran is shite as well as Adele.
I think people who vomit from drink are disgusting.
HRT has saved my life.
I hate being invited to weddings and always declined. Boring as fuck.
I have bought booze for a homeless person on numerous occasions.
I spend a grand per child at Christmas (in fairness they are all over 16)
I silently judge people who let their small kids with no medical condition get fat. It’s a form of neglect.
I hate MLM’s and people who try rope you in.
I wear a bra in bed.
I will NEVER offer full time childcare to my grandchildren when they cone along, I will spoil them though.
I wish I was a stone lighter but never do anything about it, just moan.
I hate chick flicks.
I secretly envy those who had the balls and capability to home school, I never could.
If something is even an hour past it’s sell by date I bin it.

You're going to love this one!!!

My husband is the man of the house! Yes we are in the 1800s hahaha

I walk up the street in my PJs if I need to pick my dc up from their friends' house.

We use both toilets to shit in.

We live in a council house.

I swear in front of and when talking to my dc.

I vape weed.

Wait for it....my children do housework! Daily! For no money but gaming on the PlayStation and chocolate and stationary fron the range!!! They win money for good weeks in school

I have 6 children and don't drive!

Everyone throw up!!!!

@AllOfThemWitches thats perfectly fine for your disabled son to use the ladies loos. I wouldn't mind.

We have two cars and I drive a 4wd.
I post on reddit, gransnet, 𝖿emvox and tattle.
I have two toilet brushes.
I didn't even try to breastfeed.

My crimes are endless.

I support trans people.

I left DD at home alone when she was 9 and dropped DH off at the station 20 minutes drive away.

We let her walk alone part of the way to gymnastics and Brownies as too many parents parked like crazy, she was 9.

My roast chicken is one meal for 3 plus maybe a sandwich (if DD isn't hungry).

I have as many toilet brushes as I have bathrooms plus at least a spare.

I have Boden and Seasalt tops.

One of DD's friends is trans and I didn't forbid DD to speak to him again.

DD was 6 when I told her properly how babies are made and knew about my period all her life.

I also have a dog and an SUV, and I regularly use said SUV to drive the dog somewhere nice for a walk.

I don’t think teenagers/adult children are always completely blameless if relationships with their parents break down/go wrong.

I own a toilet brush.

I don’t hate poor people and think it’s their own fault they can’t afford to eat, they should get a job and benefits are too generous under a Tory government lol

I don’t think we should continue to vote this shit show in because ‘they know what a woman is.’ If you believe that you’re thick as shit.

I refused to breastfeed my DD
I'm in my mid 50's and will still go to loud music gigs and stand at the front
I drive my car everywhere
I'm going on a long haul flight
I smoke
I have no issue with people having more than 1 child whilst claiming benefits.

@meatballsoup same here, my husband us the main breadwinner, and I do everything in the house. He works 3 jobs and my mother was annoyed he doesnt do cleaning immediately coming in from the night shift.

I don’t batch cook food (I didn’t even when I was pregnant)
I put my children in proper outfits during the first year of their lives
I don’t have a branded buggy
I didn’t do controlled crying
When I had my DD and was in agony afterwards due to complications I was asked to choose between being pain free (and taking codeine) or breastfeeding with only paracetamol and I chose the drugs! 😂
I only have 1 bathroom
I have a dog
As part of my job I work with particularly rowdy children and I love the chaos of it
I’m not offended when I’m out eating or on an airplane and a baby cries
If I was alone on a plane and someone asked me to swap seats so they could sit with their child I would even if they hadn’t paid
I’m late for everything even when I try not to be I have ADHD and I literally have no concept whatsoever of time and distance thankfully my friends still like me

The BF crowd are summoning their rage as I type...

I am a lazy recycler.
Sometimes I don't pick up my dogs poo.
I am indifferent about toilet brushes.
Babies can be left to cry.

I wear Skechers

I judge. I negatively judge most of the posters on this thread big time.

Already been said, I'm sure, I'm a MIL!

Forget making 3 meals out of a roast chicken. I have never made a roast chicken or indeed any kind of roast.

I'm autistic.

I love Cadbury's chocolate and read in wonder when MNers post about how they "tried some cheap chocolate over Christmas and had to spit it out because it was VILE and tasted oily."

I think that feminism (I use the term broadly) has been hijacked by people who make us froth at the mouth about trans people and protected spaces, as a distraction from the far more harmful erosion of women's rights. Cost of living crisis impacts women more than men, abortion rights are being eroded, but they've successfully got us wound up about changing rooms so we don't have our eye on the ball of our reproductive rights.

I read style and beauty just to marvel at the price people will pay for a frumpy dress.

I’m a midwife.

I definitely win.

in fact I will probably have to name change now.

I leave washing out overnight

I have a wood burner and love it (so would you if you didn't have a gas supply)

I pop into my friends and mother in law's on way past, without a prior appointment. For the latter I don't even knock and they do the same to us. Often appear in the back door and it's fine l, in fact I love seeing them.