A lighthearted thread: Reasons why MNers would hate you IRL

[BouncerFish]

I’ll go first.

I have a dog.

and I drive an SUV… which I can’t park very well.

hides in shame

Most of my friends are men.

Having read another thread: My daughter goes to a prep school. We have state grammars nearby. Go figure.

I like being called “darling” or “love” by strangers

I love it when dp goes away for the weekend and I don’t expect constant texts

I really like cheap chocolate and I think Yankee candle smells better than a lot of the more expensive ones.

Sometimes all I want is an all inclusive holiday. I like city breaks as well but if I’ve been working really hard I just want to sit on my arse in the sun with a cocktail.

I don't see the point of getting drunk and falling in the street, eating a kebab and being sick. But a lot of people call it a great night out.

I think most Mumsnet members would agree with you there. What makes you think they wouldn't? Is this site crammed full of kebab eating drunks?

Hahaha, I hope not! However some people do and think its wonderful!

And great name @LindorDoubleChoc

I think a child-free wedding is the best kind (excluding if the wedding couple have children of course - as long as they're gone before the evening starts)

I don't hate having children at weddings.

I have so many -

I'm a SAHM. I do all the housework and my husband gives me an allowance every month.
I have pedigree indoor only cats that I bought from a breeder.
My kids have far too much screen time.
I'm overweight and don't care.
I love a shein haul.

I think NAMALT.

I think a far more useful angle of debate is not about NAMALT, but about why some men ARE like that.

The best answer to it is, "Yes, I agree. NAMALT. What should we do about the men who act toxicly?"

I have removed all my body hair for years and feel good about it.

I get on with my neighbours and even socialise with them.

Is that another on the list of Mumsnet Big Nos? Will add it to my ever-increasing list then. I actively dislike hair below the eyelash line and have obliterated all traces of it for the past 27 years!

Why shouldn't we have a toilet brush???

I think it's just people projecting, because they personally find it more comfortable and less spikey on the old nethers to use paper (unless Bronco/Izal).

Is there an official MN byelaw on poo knives, btw?

I don't see the point of getting drunk and falling in the street, eating a kebab and being sick. But a lot of people call it a great night out.

Poo knives are fine @WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll as long as you put them straight in the dishwasher after use
Don’t want those pesky poo spores floating around the house

I'm an unashamed extrovert (or possibly outgoing introvert) and don't see it as a character flaw to like being with people.

Related to the above -IMO if you think that all friendships are draining and full of needless drama, you're probably the problem.

I answer the door to whomever knocks.

But the worse one...

I am an expat living in the US, in awe of the standard of healthcare available here and think the NHS would be vastly better for everyone if it more like the US system than the shitheap it currently is.

I'd forgotten some...

I am a regular churchgoing Christian and love my church community

I love a good neighborhood get together and I'm the unofficial "social coordinator" at my office

I willingly volunteer to coach sports/run cubs, brownies etc. and I fucking despise the lazy cheeky fuckers non-volunteering parents who sit on their arses contributing bugger all because they have "other responsibilities" thank goodness I have a magic fairy to raise my three kids and do my FT job then

@TubbsTattysyrup - That is strictly an MN forbidden and you can expect the MN police to knock on your door shortly. They will tie you down and glue hair to you.

I’m 60 and have a mane of long grey hair
Have a gym bunny body
Toilet brushes ✔️
Two bathrooms, no bath and don’t care if some imaginary purchaser in the unknown future might think that’s a dealbreaker
Lease my sports car
Pay for my adult DC to come on hols with us
Don’t recycle
Live in an apartment

I have an ensuite bathroom (with toilet brush ) and it gets used for all bodily functions you would normally use a toilet for!

I'm not offended if I get Bayliss and Harding toiletries as a present

I'm friends with neighbours, school mums and work colleagues and would socialise with them.

I have 2 teens and neither are tall, willowy, look like models or play sport at County level

DD eats crisps for breakfast at weekends

A massive salad wouldn't fill me up and imo life would not be bearable without carbs or chocolate

I answer the front door
I answer my phone
I like summer clothes

Sorry @Kissedbyfire1, but I do judge you for not recycling. It's very easy to these days.

I have an active sex life with DH and don't have anxiety.

I love this thread!

I had dc in my late teens - amazing now I'm mid thirties!

I smoke

I go to festivals and do drugs. Nothing better than being off your tits in a field with your mates and drum n base.

My dc were sleep trained as babies. Slept through by 6 weeks old. Can't cope with the woe is me my 10 yr old is still in my bed and I never get a shag because if it trope.

I am very MN in some ways. I like naice ham and don't like grazing tables.

I never ever co-slept and have never had thrush .

I have barely any books in the house, I don't often read books and I don't read them on a kindle or ipad either....and I don't think there's anything especially wrong with that
(Apparently its bad, but I'm not quite sure why )