A lighthearted thread: Reasons why MNers would hate you IRL

[BouncerFish]

I’ll go first.

I have a dog.

and I drive an SUV… which I can’t park very well.

hides in shame

I'm massively fat. Not like "I used to be 9 stone and now I'm almost 10." Properly fat. And I'm not even sorry. I don't hate myself for it.

I speak to my neighbours. I can't say I've ever been upset by their parking, wheelie bin management or the fact that one has an outdoor hot tub. In fact, we're good friends.

I introduced my partner to my child before we'd been dating for the MN-prescribed six years.

I quite enjoy ironing!

On the subject of body shape/size - I'm not overweight, but I have a tummy and I don't care (much). Certainly not going to great, or any, lengths to shrink it. I've had three children. I'm allowed to have a non-washboard stomach.

I drive a large german SUV. With a personalised number plate. I can't park it neatly if I drive it into a space so I abandon it wherever it comes to rest.
I have a pedigree dog of a breed disliked by the mumsnet massive and I bought it as a puppy from a breeder.
I don't take my shoes off indoors. Sometimes I don't even take my wellies off.
I wear Fairfax and Favor and don't care what anyone else thinks about it.
I have a pool in my garden and I don't share it with anyone who isn't immediate family.
My son is almost 18 and I still wake him up every day, make him breakfast and do all his laundry and will never charge him rent.
I have loo brushes which harbour more bacteria than a government laboratory.
I like wine.
I have cats who I permit to go outside, I strongly suspect they shit in the neighbour's garden.
My parents have gifted me a lot of money.
I have a woodburner and I use it every day from October-April.

I have sex with some good friends.

I love drag .
I'm fat.
I enjoy all inclusive holidays in Spain and Greece .
I have a designer dog .
I voted for Jeremy Corbyn .
I live in an ex. local authority house .
I work part time and don't have a private pension .

I have a vintage fur jacket that I wear
I love it and have never had a negative comment
I have a 4×4 and a sports car
I have my own money that only my husband knows about, everyone thinks I'm a kept woman and I'm not going to correct them

I eat and don't hide that I do.

So if I said I am a far right, Brexit supporting, hairy handed male mother in law who is a Boris fan, cleans his teeth with a toilet brush and puts it in the dishwasher with the toilet seat and pet bowls whilst driving a 4x4 to park across someone's drive on the school runs and takes his holidays in my neighbours house in Mexico without their knowledge, would I win?

Hmm , how many meals do you get from one chicken?

I like drag too. And I enjoy a jazz cigarette of an evening.

I like Owen Jones
I like Billy Bragg
I think Jeremy Corbyn was the best PM we never had.

Hmm , how many meals do you get from one chicken?

6 chickens to one meal, whilst smoking in my council house

I very much support trans people.

I went to my 1st baby shower this weekend and it was lovely. We got a list of suggestions for gifts, played baby themed games and ate cupcakes with blue & pink booties on. I now think everyone should have one. It's a special time regardless of what number baby it is and mum to be deserves to be spoiled, supported & celebrated.

I own toilet brush, SUV, 2 indoor cats (I know, I know, cruel) and I respect and appreciate my husband, and trust him he will provide for our family.

I drive a large diesel SUV. I hate using trains (mainly because they get cancelled at late notice). I fly at least once every couple of months.

I am not gender critical but I also support women. I know there are some contradictions in that and I accept it. We don't live in a perfect world.

I own loo brushes. Yes! More than one!

I thought Corbyn had some solid ideas. I have voted SNP in the past and I liked Tony Blair.

Ooh I’ve also been to Dubai twice and liked it. My husband lived and worked there for a while.

I've only managed two dinners from a roasted chicken
Also use my loo brushes to clean the toilets
Don't shower every single day,
Do take my shoes off indoors though and round other peoples homes too
It's just common courtesy.

I eat more than 1000 calories a day. 😉

My thing about the toilet brush thing, for everyone asking, is that there are 5 boys in the house (ones a man😅), and when they go to the toilet, if there’s shit left along the side, and you use a toilet brush, then even if you wash it in the flush (as everyone says to), there’s still bits of shit left on it and then you leave it in your bathroom. Worse still if my kids or dh decided to do it themselves. Hence the reason I’m not the biggest fan. But it’s totally me and I get why people who live in houses where people don’t do crazy regular huge turds are fine. (Sorry!!)

Oh and I stay away from the feminism part of mn but live for aibu

You would think not but I've seen some right comments on here.

I like weddings
I don't get offended at getting an evening invitation
I love summer
I don't really like Christmas and new year

To add to previous comments:

• I wash jeans after a couple of wears
• I hang my knickers on the washing line
• I hate high rise trousers/jeans
• I hate dungarees
• I do not believe 100% is the holy grail and do not own any all cotton underwear
• I'm in my 40s and still refer to myself as "a girl"