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Original poster

A lighthearted thread: Reasons why MNers would hate you IRL

316 replies

BouncerFish · 26/03/2023 21:17

I’ll go first.

I have a dog.

and I drive an SUV… which I can’t park very well.

hides in shame

OP posts:
NeverMindTryAgain · 27/03/2023 00:17

@WonderingWanda darked on is the best thing I've heard all weekend and it's actually been a lovely couple of days.

Mine stays on the line for appallingly long stretches of time but I will be using this excuse from here on.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 27/03/2023 00:37

I get on very well with my lovely PIL.

I don't swear gratuitously - and even then only mild words.

I couldn't care less if somebody realises that I am having/have had a poo in an actual toilet - if they are disgusted or shocked by the aural or fragrant evidence of this natural, mundane, essential occurrence, that is their issue and not mine.

My family are not mortally offended if somebody else in the house ever hears them fart - we do not feel the need to go to the bathroom (or even drive three counties away) every time we need to expel wind; and I also find childish euphemisms for flatulence, such as trump, parp, bum-puff and blow off, funny.

CarolinaInTheMorning · 27/03/2023 00:40

ZZTopGuitarSolo · 26/03/2023 21:35

I'm American.

Ditto 🇺🇸

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 27/03/2023 00:40

We always take our holidays in the UK - through choice. And they are indeed unquestionably holidays, and not staycations, as they involve travelling and staying somewhere away from our actual home - albeit to Norfolk or Devon rather than Venice or New York.

minou123 · 27/03/2023 00:48

WonderingWanda · 26/03/2023 23:35

I am prone to leaving washing out at night....I quite like how it smells the next day after it's been darked on.

Go on, admit it, you also love that spiders have rubbed thier willys on your washing during the night 😁

Devpatelslaughingeyes · 27/03/2023 01:02

I forgot my major sin - I drink instant coffee. Nothing but Douwe Egberts is this house.

TheShellBeach · 27/03/2023 01:03

I abhor bottle feeding.

NormaTheWife · 27/03/2023 01:06

I have a good pension
I have 3 toilet brushes
I only wear a nightie once

Tomandkit · 27/03/2023 01:08

I'm fat and I smoke (roll my own too)
I have two red leather sofas.

I only use a bath towel once before washing it.
My husband is my best friend.

I'm working class but even my two sets of grandparents owned their own homes. Born in 1904 and 1912. It's not just the middle classes who make good financial choices.

I have never been a high earner.

McSlowburn · 27/03/2023 01:46

I do a laundry every other day. Laundry is not my life.

I vape a few times a week and I love white wine.

I'm married to an incredibly intelligent professional arsehole who I'm not planning on leaving as the financial consequences are dire.

AlwaysLatte · 27/03/2023 01:57

I have 6 dogs, 2 indoor cats, leather settees and glass chopping board. Sorry not sorry 👀
Nope, doesn't count, sorry - they're not outdoor cats!

KohlaParasaurus · 27/03/2023 01:58

DH and I didn't wait for 200 years before introducing one another to our children, we just threw them all together straight away. We'd both done the same in previous relationships.

I criticised my children's father to them. I wasn't going to pretend I couldn't see the behaviour that they could see for themselves, or that I thought it was acceptable.

I'm the person who can eat a whole one without feeling bloated for months afterwards.

Lolarosemama · 27/03/2023 01:58

Someone explain the toilet brush thing to me!!

McSlowburn · 27/03/2023 02:02

Whatthediddlyfeck · 26/03/2023 21:47

I’m a dog owning, German SUV driving landlord 😂

The winner!

Didgerydoo · 27/03/2023 02:45

I am teacher who enjoys my job and can't stand the moaning teachers who start endless 'the Tories are you blame for everything' on MN
I voted for Brexit
I am landlord
I am in a relationship with a man lives in the same house as his estranged wife
I have never named a home made cake for the PTA
I can't stand the Guardian
I am completely apolitical and vote for the candidate not the party
I think the retirement age should go up because young people deserve the tax breaks not the elderly
I thouhht at the time and still do the Covid response was batshit and those who advised (Chris Whitty) and implementrd it supported it should be barred from public service for life for the impact on children's mental health
I think the NHS and education should be prrivatised
And yes I have loo brushes
I am working class and gave a northern accent
I wear skinny jeans and short skirts

EllieM27 · 27/03/2023 02:51

I’m a dual citizen who chose to live full time in the US and I love it.

Oh, and I blatantly claim to be either British or American depending on which suits and which one is least embarrassing at the time. I have no shame about this whatsoever.

Tg2023 · 27/03/2023 02:56

I had my kids in my teens
I smoke
My partner is 11 years younger
I have toilet brushes

merrymelodies · 27/03/2023 03:13

I don't like dogs.

Upsadiddles · 27/03/2023 03:25

I have a lease car.
I went abroad for my hen party and had a baby shower… and I enjoy going to other people’s hen parties and baby showers.
I quite like Baylis and Harding hand soap and I’m not mortally offended if someone buys me it as a gift.
I sometimes binge drink prosecco and I’m partial to the odd bottomless bunch with the girls.
My DC regularly have sugar. Their (multiple) Easter eggs are gone within the week and we don’t need to melt them down to make rice crispie cakes at Halloween.
I sometimes still send DC to nursery when I’ve got a day off and I feel no guilt whatsoever.

Scot75 · 27/03/2023 03:43

I smoke. I go clubbing. I will never get married again. I don’t drink any more. Can’t drive at the moment (drinking). I own an SUV with a personalised number plate . I have a dog and a cat and let them sleep on the bed. I enjoy having sex. I wear skinny jeans. I don’t live in the UK any more. I speak 3 languages fluently. My DD speaks 4. I don’t check my BF’s phone. I have 3 bathrooms so therefore 3 toilet brushes. I outsource my ironing. I worked full time from when DD was 9 months old. I don’t always take my shoes off in the house. I order too much from Amazon and my kitchen is a mess.

Lycanthropology · 27/03/2023 03:43

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

IShouldntPostBut · 27/03/2023 04:19

Loo brushes:
Half of Mumsnet think they are covered with indescribable ick after being used and should therefore not exist in a proper British household.
The other half suspects that without a loo brush they must be using tea towels to clean "debris"
There's a wide chasm between the two positions, and no possible middle ground. It's been on ongoing "debate" for quite a few years. 😀

WalkAwaySugarbear · 27/03/2023 04:36

I'm not married to a DH with a high paying job, nor am I the breadwinner. We earn the same amount.
DH doesn't have a niche hobby.
We have loo brushes.
I never coslept. My DC had dummies.

artimesiasfootsteps · 27/03/2023 04:38

Not a transphobe
have a toilet brush (bemused to how people clean skid marks without one tbh)
not married to my partner and baby’s father
I’m a snob and self aware of it
have a shoes off rule
don’t like children except my own
don't ‘gentle parent’ (1st Gen of immigrant parents)
Don’t co-sleep as use the much mumsnet maligned Snoo and love it

ShandaLear · 27/03/2023 04:49

I once ate a massive salad and it filled me right up.