A lighthearted thread: Reasons why MNers would hate you IRL

[BouncerFish]

I’ll go first.

I have a dog.

and I drive an SUV… which I can’t park very well.

hides in shame

I’m not great at parking.
I occasionally speed on motorways.
I wash my sheets and towels when I remember.
I use shop bought stock cubes.
I eat fruit without worrying about the sugar content.

I live in a small ex-council house.
I didn’t go to any university, much less a “RG” one.

I own a BTL property and have plans for another.

I not only don’t drive, but think a significant portion of those who do shouldn’t.

I’m happily single, and think the only people who don’t believe this is possible are stuck in terribly unhappy relationships and are desperate to prove to themselves that someone, anyone, is better than no one.

I have several married male friends.

I'm fat, not gender critical and let my child have screen time and eat sugar....I am a MN failure!
Sniff 😢

I love dogs, and hope to own another soon, probably a puppy because even though I am
very involved with a dog rescue getting one suitable for our circumstances would be like finding rocking horse poop, I take my bra off as soon as I get home from work and love my comfies. I drive an SUV and between myself and my DH we own 3 cars, two of which we park in front of our own house.

Own and use a toilet brush

Am overweight

Don't earn much

Rubbish at housekeeping

Allow DD to eat sugar more than once a year

Don't drive and have occasionally accept a lift if offered (clearly making me the world's biggest CF)

I let my children play out in the street.

What the problem with having a toilet brush?!

I see nuance in everything and like intellectual rigour and debate.
I am very analytical and this has, on several occasions, lead to me being accused of 'not reading the room' on MN. ( see above about enjoying debate).
I am not being ironic when I make 12 portions from one chicken.
I know a little about many things and a lot about some things which, accompanied by my lack of 'reading the room' makes me an insufferable smart arse sometimes. I'm sorry and I don't mean to be.
In RL I don't think I'd be picked out of a line up as an MNer at all.

I am prone to leaving washing out at night....I quite like how it smells the next day after it's been darked on.

I don't like salad much
I hate camping
Don't believe in hugely expensive skin care stuff
Am not obsessed about kids going to university despite on paper being pretty middle class- happy if they find a calling they enjoy and can earn decently from without it
Am not bothered about period features- more bothered about efficient heating, good sized rooms , decent non draughty windows and storage space
Love a nice en suite

I don’t worry about trans people in toilets.

I obviously own a toilet brush (didn’t know this was a thing)!

I can't parallel park

I speak my mind and don't give 2 shiny shits what people think or if i offend them.

My kids are always immaculately dressed even for a play park. If mud or something ruins it, i dont care.

I do have a bit of a throw away culture, I love replacing stuff and dumping old stuff that can't go to charity but didn't need replacing, loo seats i love to change often, washing bowls, loo brushes obviously.

I hate cyclists with a passion.

I've sleep trained all my kids
I have four kids and work full time
I'm not a fan of the school gate brigade and dared to say it on here once (got annihilated on here once for daring to voice it)

I vape
Slightly overweight
Don't own my own house
Co slept with my children and let them use the pillow and duvet
I'm bad at parking my car
Eat takeaway once a week and let my children too
Don't take my children to baby groups or the park
and to top it off i wear the same pjs for 3+days and don't shower every day

and i don't even care 😂 wow MNers would really hate me in RL😂😂😂

I (and everyone I know) live at home until we got married - well into our 20s and never paid any rent or keep. I also will never charge my own children any rent or keep and they have a place in my home as long as they want it.

NB- I live in Ireland and in my circles paying rent to live in your childhood home isn't the norm.

I'm overweight
I vape
I sometimes smoke
I have and use a loo brush
I have and use a tumble dryer
I don't have a car (but can drive)
I answer the door
I wash teatowels with my clothes
I don't wash towels daily
I live in a housing association house
I'm happily single
I have male friends,both married and single

I used to live in Australia and can't praise it enough

I have a Cavapoo...

I like carbs

I really enjoy a “girls nights out” where I binge drink and smoke

been with my partner for 10 years and don’t want to marry

I can get a weeks shop in Aldi

I can’t make a chicken last for more than one meal and we rarely have leftovers in this house 🐷

I wear knickers under my pyjama bottoms

I am fat, have 2 toilet brushes, don't limit my dcs screentime, only get one meal out of a chicken, keep my shoes on in the house, have never been nc with any of my family, never batch cook, change my sheets and towels when i can be arsed which isnt very often, i dont mind ironing, my adult dc live with me and pay me rent, i can drive but prefer when my dh does it, and i just love it when people call in unexpectedly.

I'm overweight and love my size and shape.

My child has a weird name.

I don't believe in tuff trays or entertaining children constantly. I believe in encouraging academics very strongly, making sure they can communicate with me about their problems, organising one or two activities, and then pretty much leaving them alone to enjoy their own interests and other people.

I don't limit screen time.

I own two 4x4s and don't live in the countryside.

I smoke.

I believe in being prescriptive about children's qualifications and degrees unless they have better ideas, which they often don't.

I have toilet brushes (3)
We have 2 gas guzzling 4x4s
I don’t like dogs.
I like Jack Monroe. And gin.

I still don’t get the toilet brushes! 😁