Trigger warning - incomprehensible tragedy

[Nimbostratus100]

Two beautiful little boys strangled, and mother hung, and the boys looked so well cared for and loved, plenty of toys, nice clothes, lovingly photographed

I just cant bear to think of what went on in that house in those last moments, those poor poor children

How can this happen? How was this impossible to see coming?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-65065560

People do go on Facebook though, let’s not pretend they don’t. Look at the disgusting posts on here about Nicola Bulley. Plenty of ghouls.

It’s horrendous when anyone is murdered, but especially defenceless children.

Yeah of course they do, but then I suppose if you share everything on social media you expect people to look at it.

Didn't take long for the news outlets to get hold of the stuff she had shared

Yes, but to go to someone’s Facebook that you don’t know, after a tragedy, is a very sick thing to do imo. People that do it are just being nosy and use it to gossip.

This. The father must be going through absolute hell.

@Nimbostratus100
I'm asking this very gently; is there some particular reason you want to know whether there were warning signs that this was going to happen? Are you worried about yourself or a close friend or family member?
Tragedies like this do happen, sometimes there were signs that were missed, sometimes not.
If this particular one has caused you more upset than would be construed normal in the circumstances it might be worthwhile thinking about why that is.

Speaking from experience of being a female parent who has had symptoms of psychosis... this ^ explains it. It's just simply incomprehensible to someone who's never experienced it.

Prob not managing life if single parent money worries mh issues just not coping

Because some parents are a danger to their children, Mothers and Fathers.

It has always been so and will always be so.

Even when there are warnings, society chooses to believe every parent will look after and safeguard their child. This belief causes us to ignore signs of danger.

My Mother didn't love me and I am constantly amazed by people who insist she loved me "in her own way". I was well dressed, my Mother was well off and educated. I feel grateful to have reached adulthood alive.

She must have been very seriously mentally unwell to have committed such a heinous crime , those poor boys

You are so right. People cannot conceive of sane mothers deliberately harming their own children either by action or neglect. It’s an evil they cannot admit exists and it many ways it’s taboo for survivors to speak about their lived realities. I’m sorry you lived it, and sorry you get gaslit about it by being told she did love you when you know that is a fantasy they are using to avoid facing up to an ugly and inconvenient truth.

It said in the paper that the father hadn't been around as much.

Fathers need to be around more.

There seems to be this mentality that men can just up and leave and wash their hands

As in most cases like this of course it will be put down to mental health as no sane person would strangle their own children and hang themselves

So even though the mother is the one who has murdered her 2 children, and in a horrendous way, youre still reaching to say it's still the dads fault? What a horrible thing to insinuate.

Only on Mumsnet would a man be blamed for a woman murdering children.

This site is a farce sometimes

When your suicidal you don't think clearly. Iv been in this situation and as crazy as it sounds to a rational mind, when you have that much hatred for the world you want to protect your children from it and take them with you especially if you believe your going to a better place.

So is the general consensus dad murdering their children then suicide = evil horrible bustard. Mum murdering their children then suicide= poor her, and the dads fault?

A similar thing happened in my town about 20 years ago & my family knew the Mum as she taught at the college where DF worked. Absolutely heartbreaking & chilling. She smothered her 7 & 18 month old boys in their beds then hung herself in the garage. Her poor husband found them all. I often drive past their house ( since sold) & think about that terrible day.

How can this happen? How was this impossible to see coming?

how can any of us comment on this? We’re not in receipt of the facts

Really, what else can it be down to? No mother in her right mind kills her children then herself.

No idea why she murdered her own children, maybe retaliation to get back at the kids dad. Who knows

Yep.

Not at all

The point I'm making is that the mother obviously needed support - which should have come from the father.

It would be obsurd to conclude it was the father's fault