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Original poster

What would you except in return for doing a wedding cake as a gift? / AIBU?

171 replies

weddingcakery · 17/03/2023 14:41

A family member got married in December. I offered to make the cake to save them a lot of money. I'm not a professional baker but am pretty good when it comes to cakes. The cake looked and tasted ace Grin

I just wondered if IWBU to expect a thank you in the wedding speeches and/or a thank you card afterwards?

OP posts:
ijustneedanamefgs · 17/03/2023 14:44

If it was your gift to them then why would they thank you in their speeches? They can’t thank every gift giver. I would expect a verbal
thank you or thank you card at some point though

ijustneedanamefgs · 17/03/2023 14:45

Just saw it was in December. Have they never thanked you at all? Commented on the cake or anything? That is actually odd

Thesearmsofmine · 17/03/2023 14:45

Did they thank you when they collected the cake?

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Readeatcake · 17/03/2023 14:45

My aunt did my wedding flowers as a gift as she's a florist. We gave her a mention in the speeches and a little gift.

I suppose it depends on the type of person. As long as they said thank you in some way I don't think they are being rude.

Hbh17 · 17/03/2023 14:45

A thank you card or letter within a few weeks of the event, as I would for any wedding gift.

Original poster
weddingcakery · 17/03/2023 14:46

ijustneedanamefgs · 17/03/2023 14:45

Just saw it was in December. Have they never thanked you at all? Commented on the cake or anything? That is actually odd

Yes they commented on the day, said it looked amazing etc.

Maybe that is all that is to be expected and that's fine! I would have thought a card would be nice but nothing has arrived.

OP posts:
Original poster
weddingcakery · 17/03/2023 14:48

TYPO in the title should of course be expect!

OP posts:
carriedout · 17/03/2023 14:48

I would perhaps expect a card, if I was not close to them, but if a good friend or family member I would not necessarily expect more than their gratitude.

Londono · 17/03/2023 14:49

Considering wedding cakes can cost hundreds of pounds, the least I'd expect would be a thank you card!

Original poster
weddingcakery · 17/03/2023 14:50

Londono · 17/03/2023 14:49

Considering wedding cakes can cost hundreds of pounds, the least I'd expect would be a thank you card!

They were getting quotes in for about £400-450!

OP posts:
Lastqueenofscotland2 · 17/03/2023 14:51

I would have expected a heartfelt thanks, verbal is fine. I’d not be devastated at not getting a card… And a mention in the speech’s? Definitely not

Londono · 17/03/2023 14:51

And I'd have offered to pay your costs as well as ingredients aren't cheap these days

mondaytosunday · 17/03/2023 14:51

No I don't think I'd expect a card, though I guess if they were thinking guests gif gifts then they should send you one too. Fewer people seem to write though, usually it's a quick text.

MaryDerry · 17/03/2023 14:53

I'd have expected a thank you note and perhaps a photo of them stood by the cake if one was taken.
But I like thank youuuuuus, apparently its dated on MN

mewkins · 17/03/2023 14:53

Yeah, you should have been thanked properly. I wouldn't be doing any more favours for them.

StepHigh · 17/03/2023 14:53

They said thank you and that it looked amazing. Obviously a card would have been nice but not something to get upset about.

GandhiDeclaredWarOnYou · 17/03/2023 14:53

Telling you how much they appreciate it is fine. Nothing else needed.

redskylight · 17/03/2023 14:55

I'd expect what you got - to be thanked and told it looked amazing.

Most of the people I know don't really send cards any more.

Original poster
weddingcakery · 17/03/2023 14:58

redskylight · 17/03/2023 14:55

I'd expect what you got - to be thanked and told it looked amazing.

Most of the people I know don't really send cards any more.

We only got married a couple of years ago ourselves and we sent cards to everyone who bought us a gift. It would be so rude otherwise!

OP posts:
Original poster
weddingcakery · 17/03/2023 14:59

OK, thanks for the sense check everyone! Smile

OP posts:
RosaBonheur · 17/03/2023 15:09

I think it's really rude not to send thank you cards to everyone who has given you a wedding present. If someone had done our cake as a present I would also have thanked them in the speeches. A celebration cake is a real labour of love.

MumOf2workOptions · 17/03/2023 15:12

I would have mentioned it in the speeches and got a bouquet and a card definately you've saved them loads of money!

NortieTortie · 17/03/2023 15:13

People really send out thank you cards for every gift they receive at their wedding? That seems like an awful waste of paper when a verbal thank you (or text if opened later) works just fine.

I would've thanked a cake maker in the speech though.

Lovelyring · 17/03/2023 15:17

We had a family member do ours as their gift to us.

We acknowledged them in the order of service together with bridal party, photographer and anyone else who had helped significantly. We also sent a thank you card but admittedly it took us about 6 months to write to everyone.

I can't remember if DH mentioned them in his speech. I suspect he did.

Lovelyring · 17/03/2023 15:18

NortieTortie · 17/03/2023 15:13

People really send out thank you cards for every gift they receive at their wedding? That seems like an awful waste of paper when a verbal thank you (or text if opened later) works just fine.

I would've thanked a cake maker in the speech though.

Absolutely, I think it's incredibly lazy and rude not to.