Did he propose? Am I engaged?

[crymeout]

DP and I are in the process of buying a house. We've talked about getting married before and wanting to be married but we are going to wait until we move (we never explicitly said this but it was understood by both from circumstances). Last night, we were celebrating our house purchase (I wasn't feeling well at the weekend) and had quite a lot of Prosecco/champagne. At one point DP says 'now all that's left to do is get married' and I said 'yes, please' and we kissed. Does that count? A, I now engaged? DP is fast asleep so can't ask him yet but would you say that counts/assume you were engaged after that??

Yes I would class that as engaged.
Me and my husband had a similar conversation when we purchased our house that it would be nice to get engaged before moving in. We went ring shopping.
He did want to do a proper will you marry me proposal with the ring so he did. But that was just the 2 of us and it was lovely

If you want to get married, why not propose to him?

Only weirdos don't like roast dinners. Fact.

He must be up by now. Unless you had a big party last night or he works nights he is a lazy bastard and I would strongly recommend NOT marrying him 😁.
Does he not know I have things to do other than keep checking this thread....

Hide his passport.

We need to know!

If there was no drink involved I would be more hopeful but getting caught up in the moment half pissed and mentioning marriage does not an engagement make.

I know one. He came into work and told us they were getting engaged, they were going on a big holiday she'd told him the ring to buy, when he was to propose and where (sort of well known place like The Spanish Steps in Rome not that but same sort of thing.) We laughed as we thought he was having us on but no we all got the photos.

I guess we all want different things and she knew what she wanted.

Yes, that's a proposal and you accepted. Time to tell your family!

I was pissed when I "asked" mine😂
Happily married for over a decade

That's how me and my partner did it, mutually agreed we'd like to be married, he did eventually pick out a ring a year later but again nothing fancy, just handed it to me

No of course you are not engaged. At best you've got an indication of intention and you've communicated your willingness to agree.

Look at it this way, if you were on probation as an employee and the employer said to you, it's all going well so all that's left is to make a you a formal job offer and you replied 'yes please'.
You would totally know that you don't yet have a formal job offer but you would be thinking that one was likely to be forthcoming.

If you knew the answer was yes, you wouldn't have needed to start this thread!!

IME the more flashy the proposal the shorter the marriage.

Not saying an actual proposal i.e. popping the question in a certain setting on a certain date means the marriage won’t last, but these proposals where the man takes her on a hot air balloon or buys the biggest flashiest ring they can find etc, I used to work with someone whose dh proposed by arranging a meal out and arranged for all the veg etc to be cut into hearts etc and had the ring appear in a glass of champagne.

IMO these days an actual proposal is far less relevant because people are already living together, possibly they own a house, you would think that marriage has at least been discussed at this point, so it’s more a question of deciding when that is going to be.

IME the opposite is true and it’s the low effort men that tend to make shit and short term husbands.

totally agree @YaWeeFurryBastard and also sets really low bar for that relationship IME

😂

I don't think you are, sorry.

He half-asked you!

He said' All that's left to do is...'

So he should have followed it up with 'Let's go looking for a ring' or 'Let's tell your parents...'

Have you moved into your house?

Yes you can wake him now OP!

No it's not.

It's agreeing what you both in the future.

Surely you want a ring?

DP says 'now all that's left to do is get married' and I said 'yes, please' and we kissed. Does that count?

We had an understanding - we would be marrying at some point both on same page - but I was still asked with a ring just two of us and it was still a surprise ( was expecting it to be later on) and didn't consider us engaged till then and then it took two years to get wed.

So I can see why you are confused - any talk of dates timeframes ?

Yes you are engaged

except there are cases where women moved in together, had a number of kids together, lived 100 years together and never got married

I have - twice - and believe me - a piece of paper and a ring is not important to me

we can see here how many women have the paper and the ring, the title and the surname but no relationship

if the OP wants to get married - she better ask him - not MN - or make sure to let him know she wants to be asked and the marriage executed

I don't think so, I think most men would make an effort to get a ring beforehand etc. But I'm sure you will be soon.

As to a PP suggesting a woman propose, for myself I'd not find that romantic.

Any update? Surely he can't still be sleeping?!

I think because there was consumption of alcoholic beverages and it didn't quite sound definite, I would want to clarify when he wakes up. Because it sort of did, but sort of didn't..?

My DH did get on one knee and propose, and while that was sort of embarrassing in front of the other people around, at least I was in no doubt whatsoever that we were engaged. (No ring at that point, we went out to choose one at the next weekend.) I don't think he had planned it in advance either, it seemed a bit "impulse buy"...

It sounds very positive for you though OP, which is lovely.