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Original poster

Did he propose? Am I engaged?

396 replies

crymeout · 13/03/2023 07:41

DP and I are in the process of buying a house. We've talked about getting married before and wanting to be married but we are going to wait until we move (we never explicitly said this but it was understood by both from circumstances). Last night, we were celebrating our house purchase (I wasn't feeling well at the weekend) and had quite a lot of Prosecco/champagne. At one point DP says 'now all that's left to do is get married' and I said 'yes, please' and we kissed. Does that count? A, I now engaged? DP is fast asleep so can't ask him yet but would you say that counts/assume you were engaged after that??

OP posts:
SerafinasGoose · 13/03/2023 14:38

InsertMoniker · 13/03/2023 11:13

Id say no and if he said it was I'd be disappointed there was no proper proposal!

I'm never sure if mine was a proposal, or just a conversation. Talking about some friends who were getting married, now dh says, in the pub. . .

"That's what I'd like us to do eventually"

"Oh, what do you mean eventually?"

"Well I've got the the 3rd week off next month"

"OK"

I love this! But I am the spontaneous type. I shudder at the idea of an event that takes two years in the planning down to the finest meticulous detail. Our 'wedding planning' took the form of booking a slot at an Italian town hall for a date 5 weeks into the future, booking flights, and taking a cabin on a Cunard cruise ship that happened to be leaving port the same night. We bought my dress and our rings 3 weeks in advance and arranged flowers on arrival 4 days before our wedding.

That's it, and it was the most relaxing, laid-back, wonderful day imaginable. I'd do the same again in a heartbeat. Procrastination over minutiae was never my style: my motto is 'getting shit done'. As ever, you're lucky if you find a partner with the same mindset as you, and fortunately mine is.

As to The Proposal. When you (generic you) have been married 5+ years and look back on this event, will you actually care?

IHateLegDay · 13/03/2023 14:51

@Liorae yep it was a surprise. I obviously knew he was going to propose but didn't know when or how and it was beautiful.

But you know, it's all 'bullshit' 🙄

worriedmumoftwo2 · 13/03/2023 14:54

honestly men these days! You shouldn't be confused, marriage is a fat deal! Tell ur bae u want a proposal NOW!!

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Dating General relationships
CurlewKate · 13/03/2023 15:22

You ask him. Then you can be sure.

StephenDedalus · 13/03/2023 15:23

And that's wonderful @SerafinasGoose that suited you and your now husband. But that doesn't make it right for the next person and there is no right way or wrong way of doing any of this! It's all personal to the couple involved.

And to answer your question, it's 20 years since we got engaged and married and yes, it still matters to this day to both of us and we reminisce about it, particularly if we're in the vicinity.

We did not have a protracted engagement, we got engaged and married within 9 months but we took huge care with planning the details because it was important to us...

@IHateLegDay poor us with our 'bullshit, performativem, passive' proposals, eh? Smile Confused

DrMeredithGrey2023 · 13/03/2023 15:38

Has she found out if she's engaged yet? 🙃

HaveTheDayOff · 13/03/2023 16:10
Biscuit
vera99 · 13/03/2023 16:15

Has he ever used the words "whatever love is ?" - if so avoid like the plague... he'll have a mistress 😂

Original poster
crymeout · 13/03/2023 16:21

And the results are in.....

OP posts:
Glame · 13/03/2023 16:30

This is going to be a nine minute long epic! Can't wait!

OrlandointheWilderness · 13/03/2023 16:58

Oh I'd say yes!

WhatWouldJeevesDo · 13/03/2023 17:05

crymeout · 13/03/2023 16:21

And the results are in.....

And…

DaisyStarburst · 13/03/2023 17:11

Has he finally woken up?!

babbylonzoo · 13/03/2023 17:11

vera99 · 13/03/2023 16:15

Has he ever used the words "whatever love is ?" - if so avoid like the plague... he'll have a mistress 😂

😂😂😂😂

Maireas · 13/03/2023 17:12

He enjoys a lie in, doesn't he?.

Winemygoodenemy · 13/03/2023 17:16

Nope. I would say that’s him checking you are on the same page. Expect a proposal soon though.

Liorae · 13/03/2023 17:30

Mummy am I married?
Did you have a wedding?
No.
Then you are not, you silly whore!

cloudsandream · 13/03/2023 17:30

crymeout · 13/03/2023 16:21

And the results are in.....

Tell us then!! Don’t drag it out for the sake of mumsnet fame for 10 minutes. Hate when people drip feed.

Original poster
crymeout · 13/03/2023 17:38

I actually didn't mean to leave it this long, sorry guys! Anyway, not engaged but I think he'll ask once we've moved and settled Grin

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 13/03/2023 17:41

SerafinasGoose · 13/03/2023 14:38

I love this! But I am the spontaneous type. I shudder at the idea of an event that takes two years in the planning down to the finest meticulous detail. Our 'wedding planning' took the form of booking a slot at an Italian town hall for a date 5 weeks into the future, booking flights, and taking a cabin on a Cunard cruise ship that happened to be leaving port the same night. We bought my dress and our rings 3 weeks in advance and arranged flowers on arrival 4 days before our wedding.

That's it, and it was the most relaxing, laid-back, wonderful day imaginable. I'd do the same again in a heartbeat. Procrastination over minutiae was never my style: my motto is 'getting shit done'. As ever, you're lucky if you find a partner with the same mindset as you, and fortunately mine is.

As to The Proposal. When you (generic you) have been married 5+ years and look back on this event, will you actually care?

Show quote history

so much competitive “not giving a shit so our wedding was soooo romantic” smuggery

2bazookas · 13/03/2023 17:43

I think if your communications are so poor you don't know what he meant, you shouldn't be planning marriage yet.

SerafinasGoose · 13/03/2023 17:51

ShirleyPhallus · 13/03/2023 17:41

so much competitive “not giving a shit so our wedding was soooo romantic” smuggery

Show quote history

Now, now. No need to be quite so unnecessarily rude.

In my world, different does not equal 'bad'.

I've never understood why some people take it as a personal affront when other people order their lives/events in a different way from theirs, just as is so often seen on the WOHM vs. SAHM threads.

It isn't a slight, you know?

StephenDedalus · 13/03/2023 17:57

Actually @SerafinasGoose your post was a slight on those who did it differently. All that shuddering at the thoughts of planning for longer than 3 weeks etc

I can't imagine anything worse than a cruise as my honeymoon <shudder> but each to their own & all that

IHateLegDay · 13/03/2023 18:23

StephenDedalus · 13/03/2023 15:23

And that's wonderful @SerafinasGoose that suited you and your now husband. But that doesn't make it right for the next person and there is no right way or wrong way of doing any of this! It's all personal to the couple involved.

And to answer your question, it's 20 years since we got engaged and married and yes, it still matters to this day to both of us and we reminisce about it, particularly if we're in the vicinity.

We did not have a protracted engagement, we got engaged and married within 9 months but we took huge care with planning the details because it was important to us...

@IHateLegDay poor us with our 'bullshit, performativem, passive' proposals, eh? Smile Confused

You've completely misunderstood by message. Someone else was calling me bullshit, hence the quotation marks.
I love a proposal.

SerafinasGoose · 13/03/2023 18:30

StephenDedalus · 13/03/2023 17:57

Actually @SerafinasGoose your post was a slight on those who did it differently. All that shuddering at the thoughts of planning for longer than 3 weeks etc

I can't imagine anything worse than a cruise as my honeymoon <shudder> but each to their own & all that

You chose to read it as a slight, and took it as such. This is on you. It wasn't the intended meaning behind my post.

I stated what didn't work for me - what was and wasn't inline with my personal preferences. That wasn't a statement or implication that this will be the same for everyone else, nor was it intended as a criticism.

Personally I couldn't care less how others arrange their proposals or weddings. I'd be the first to be surprised should they care how I ordered mine. No reason why they should. Other people's weddings are exceptionally tedious.