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Original poster

Women who walk out on their dh & dc..

141 replies

Silverlog · 12/03/2023 20:54

What percentage of women who walk out on their dh & dc do you think have had a 2nd man lined up somewhere else? I'm pondering what the %s might be? Those who walk out alone vs those who walk out because they have a new relationship to go to (whether it works out or not). I think it's generally believed on mn that most/many men only walk out when there's a new woman in the wings somewhere. So do you think it's the same for mothers who walk out on their dhs & dc? I ask because this was my mum.. I never heard what the outcome was.

OP posts:

Dumpruntime · 12/03/2023 20:57

Mine didn’t, she just fucked off out of it and dumped us. She relied on family to support her, the she got with other guys.

ForestRun · 12/03/2023 20:58

Mine left 9 kids with my father. Just upped and left in the night with her affair guy.

Dumpruntime · 12/03/2023 20:59

I was three, my brother 9 months, she just said nah and left. Got with someone else after and started again.

Timeforachangeisitnot · 12/03/2023 21:03

In my close circle of friends 2 have left with no other man involved. Just decided enough was enough.
A 3rd got left by her cheating bastard of a husband and the other 2 ( so 3/6 ) are still married to their original husband. Not to say there have not been bumps on the road, but still together.
I don’t know that there is a pattern to it, people just reach a point when they are done.

avocadotofu · 12/03/2023 21:07

My husband's mother left when he was little and it was for another guy.

Climbles · 12/03/2023 21:09

The only example I know she walked out on her DH and her baby and toddler for another man. He was supposed to be ditching his wife and kids too but he never did.

Goawaypeppa · 12/03/2023 21:13

My mum left her first two children who were 9 and 10 for my dad.

FourTeaFallOut · 12/03/2023 21:14

The only real life example I know where a woman left her children was when it was to build a life with her affair guy. The Dad checked out and left the older two, who were mid teens, to raise the youngest who was only a toddler. It was a fucking disaster really, nobody got out of that shit show in one piece.

ÉireannachÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉ · 12/03/2023 21:16

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chipswitheveryting · 12/03/2023 21:17

I don't think you'll get the answer you need through speculating. Have you asked your my or any close family or some of her friends?

I think every scenario is different. You need the truth not a made up 'probably'.

TomatoSandwiches · 12/03/2023 21:18

I only know of one woman who had a toddler then twins, she left for MH reasons and wasn't getting any support from her husband or family, she's nearly 60 now and lives alone, has done since she left.

Thisisformathilda · 12/03/2023 21:20

I will NEVER understand how a woman can get up and walk out on her children, its just beyond me.

ThreeRingCircus · 12/03/2023 21:21

The only one I know of it was was for another man. She upped and left her DH and two young DDs to shack up with another bloke. Her daughters are now adults and have never forgiven her for just walking out on them but she was a selfish bitch then and sadly still is a selfish bitch now!

chipswitheveryting · 12/03/2023 21:22

My ex's mum left 5 kids, her husband criticised and nagged and complained about her daily. Made out he was father of the year and she was worse than something you would stand in.

Her self worth was very low after the abuse and her ex had already made out he could care for the kids and she couldn't so it was an extreme case of coercive control and emotional abuse.

With a kinder man she might have been revered and been a great mum.

Life is very complicated.

Kranke · 12/03/2023 21:25

Thisisformathilda · 12/03/2023 21:20

I will NEVER understand how a woman can get up and walk out on her children, its just beyond me.

I NEVER understand how men do that too. My husband is absolutely amazing, his bond with our family is so intense. I could not imagine what it would take for either of us to walk out. Unfortunately some do.

Noicant · 12/03/2023 21:25

I think I can understand when women walk out and theres no-one else. The pressure of family life can be intense especially if there is a more traditional set up. I’ve definitely had passing thoughts of running away.

Ladydinosaur · 12/03/2023 21:26

The only woman I know who walked,left 3 kids with first hubby
fell pregnant to affair guy-married him,then left him with their 2 dd’s and moved onto the 3rd guy-pregnant with their ds
he puts up with what she slings at him,as he’s so scared of her walking out and leaving him with the kids (they’ve just had another one)
she went wailing to the papers as soon as she was pregnant to no 3 and acts amazed she didn’t get a whole load of sympathy for breaking up two families and leaving the kids behind
I know 100% that she’s had a string of affairs while with no 3 husband but doesn’t see what she’s done wrong ‘as men do it all the time’
maybe they do but not all
She has a point when she says women get judged more harshly than men-not saying any is right

weegiemum · 12/03/2023 21:27

My mother left me, my sister and brother (12,10,4) to be with my dads best friend that she'd been having an affair with for several years.

I no longer speak to her. Her abandonment went much deeper than just walking away.

LakeTiticaca · 12/03/2023 21:32

@Ladydinosaur what on earth possessed her to go wailing to the papers? What possessed her to think she would get any sympathy?

ÉireannachÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉ · 12/03/2023 21:34

Noicant · 12/03/2023 21:25

I think a lot of mums have many moments of feeling like walking out. Its not that you want to walk out forever on your family and never see them again, it's actually feeling burnt out and feeling like walking out temporarily would give you the break you need.

Difference is, you think it but don't carry it out.to do so is rare and abnormal.

MissingMoominMamma · 12/03/2023 21:35

My friend did because her husband was so emotionally abusive and convinced her that she wouldn’t get the children if they split. His mother backed him up.

It has taken her many years to rebuild those relationships.

Cantstaystuckforever · 12/03/2023 21:41

I don't know any women from a Western/secular background who haven't been the resident parent after a split. However I do know some from more traditional and religious families in my country of origin.

In many religious families (I believe the same is true in many faiths, unfortunately) it's not considered acceptable for the woman to take the children, some women snap and walk, often they were being horribly abused, and often they do try to fight but it's rare they get to keep their children, who are also often led to believe that they were abandoned, or that their mother is sinful or mad.

It must be so hard OP to have to wonder, and hope that things ended up ok with your father.

Dumpruntime · 12/03/2023 21:43

Noicant · 12/03/2023 21:25

I don’t. I say that as a child who was left and a mother now . I get leaving your partner, but no, I shall never ever get walking away and Leaving your kids.

Ladydinosaur · 12/03/2023 21:46

LakeTiticaca · 12/03/2023 21:32

@Ladydinosaur what on earth possessed her to go wailing to the papers? What possessed her to think she would get any sympathy?

I honestly have no idea
I met her about 5 years afterwards and she just dropped it into conversation,like you would talk about the weather or what you where having for dinner
she was raging about the comments-not one stuck up for her
she wasn’t having affairs with no3 husband at the point she told me-that started about 6 months later
She had the utter brass neck to judge me on my life when she was capable of this!
its still out there on the internet-I think she is that narcissistic,she thought she’d get sympathy for what a dogs life her ex’s lead her to have and that she had no choice
they where pure evil apparently-enough for her to leave her 6 children behind…

totallybonafido · 12/03/2023 21:47

My grandad's mum left him and several other siblings, when he was about 5. There was speculation that she ran off with another man but noone ever found out for sure and they never heard from her again.

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