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Original poster

What do private schools do that state schools don't?

488 replies

Mommymoments · 09/03/2023 12:24

For me the local private does
Weekly swimming
Learning an orchestra instrument (extra cost)
Debating
Language (Spanish, French, German & afterschool Latin, Mandarin & Russian)
Yoga
Hockey & Lacrosse
Lots of sporting & drama opportunities
Excellent field trips out of school
Ski trip from Y7 onwards..

Would love all that for my dc's but can't afford it. But would love to hear about all the nice extras your dc's get at their private.

OP posts:
Plirtle · 09/03/2023 12:26

Absolutely hothouse them so that they get probably at least a grade or two more than they'd get if they went to our local state. Everything else is gravy IMO.

Plirtle · 09/03/2023 12:28

Although to be fair dd is in the 6th form and her and her friends still do loads of school sport ,even the ones who aren't madly sporty, whereas her friends who went to the state have all stopped doing sport, so I guess that's good although not worth the fees on it's own.

arethereanyleftatall · 09/03/2023 12:28

Mine have had all of that at state school.

Having met an unfortunately large number of private school children through my job, they seem to teach the children that they're superior to others, backed up by many of the parents.

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General education Private schooling Secondary education
Original poster
Mommymoments · 09/03/2023 12:29

I hope the kids that go to the privates realise how lucky they are. I would have loved to go to a private & also be able to give my dc's the opportunity. I know not all are equal but most offer excellent enrichment activities the state just can't afford to offer.

OP posts:
Dammitthisisshit · 09/03/2023 12:31

Mine go to state but I talked it through with a friend who teaches at private.

smaller class sizes
scheduled music (first instrument included, charged for more than 1)
more sports opportunities- sports clubs almost every night plus weekends in secondary
better facilities - proper arts workshops, good sports facilities (including a standard size leisure pool)

Plirtle · 09/03/2023 12:32

Mommymoments · 09/03/2023 12:29

I hope the kids that go to the privates realise how lucky they are. I would have loved to go to a private & also be able to give my dc's the opportunity. I know not all are equal but most offer excellent enrichment activities the state just can't afford to offer.

Mine did barely any of the enrichment, never went on trips. They had small classes, teachers who know how they learn and spend ages and ages going through stuff and constantly testing and reporting back to parents twice a term. No idea if they'd have done as well as they did at state, I suspect not as they weren't self motivated academic high flyers (who I would think would do well anywhere).

redskylight · 09/03/2023 12:33

You can't stereotype these things by sector.
My DC's state school, for example, has its own theatre and offers a huge range of drama opportunities.

Believeitornot · 09/03/2023 12:34

Smaller classes, streamed on entry and buildings that aren’t falling down.

fruitbrewhaha · 09/03/2023 12:35

A network. Your not just buying a good education, you are buying into a friendship group who will open doors for you.

Isyesterdaytomorrowtoday · 09/03/2023 12:35

The biggest difference I see is class sizes & time the teachers can give to them as individuals

Beyond that choice and variety outside of core subjects

Plirtle · 09/03/2023 12:35

It depends what your local state is like.

Most posters on mumsnet seem to live in the catchment of amazing state schools with all the facilities of private and tens to Oxbridge every year with absolutely no input from parents or teachers because they are insanely self motivated. Our local state isn't like that so for us private school worked better. Long days too which is good as I work and we are rural so the bus back from the state school was patchy.

Plirtle · 09/03/2023 12:36

fruitbrewhaha · 09/03/2023 12:35

A network. Your not just buying a good education, you are buying into a friendship group who will open doors for you.

This hasn't really been our experience tbh.

carriedout · 09/03/2023 12:36

One of our local ones turns a blind eye to hard drugs.

WimpoleHat · 09/03/2023 12:37

My DDs are at private school. Most of it is bullshit, quite honestly. One of my DDs plays an instrument and the orchestra is quite nice, but, with the exception of one little girl who’s clearly a bit of a musical prodigy, they’re all mediocre players at best (and that’s putting it kindly!). But the way the school bangs on about their “talented musicians”, you’d think it was really something special. Same with the drama group and the sports teams (who see
to travel endlessly as they only play other private schools).

What you do get is:

  1. A very MC intake with a laser like focus on education from the parents. This is a mixed blessing as you get a high proportion of over tutored kids and extremely earnest parents. It is also, undeniably, a bit of a bubble. But the peer group is highly focused and that does set the tone.
  2. Mostly very high quality staff. (Obviously, this can also be the case in state schools.)
  3. Swishier facilities (for what that’s worth - but that’s where a lot of the fees are going).

Remember too - for a lot of people, private education is a huge expense. It’s most of their disposable income. So they have to believe it’s the best thing ever (and will often proclaim this loudly) in order to justify the cost to themselves. If you’re in that position (and the higher the cost, the more people in this bracket), you can’t do it unless you’re a believer. Hence you’ll get hundreds of posts on here proclaiming that their school is the best thing ever etc etc. But I’d take it with a pinch of salt.

Marchforward · 09/03/2023 12:37

Connections
A sense of superiority

Plirtle · 09/03/2023 12:37

carriedout · 09/03/2023 12:36

One of our local ones turns a blind eye to hard drugs.

As does our state school, in fact you can buy them outside if you fancy it.

MagpiePi · 09/03/2023 12:39

From my experience with a child who went to sixth form at a private school,
Smaller classes, hence less stressed teachers, outstanding sports facilities and equipment, better pastoral care as there are fewer children. And probably these days, fewer children with complex social and health problems (not judging anyone here before I get piled on!) so less classroom disruption. More upmarket trips, eg skiing, trips for sports teams, orchestras etc.

carriedout · 09/03/2023 12:40

Mommymoments · 09/03/2023 12:29

I hope the kids that go to the privates realise how lucky they are. I would have loved to go to a private & also be able to give my dc's the opportunity. I know not all are equal but most offer excellent enrichment activities the state just can't afford to offer.

I went to private & state. State was better. Good state trumps private IMO. Private school is snake oil/status symbol.

The worst aspect of private is it is actually very limiting socially. A tiny pond.

WimpoleHat · 09/03/2023 12:41

A network. Your not just buying a good education, you are buying into a friendship group who will open doors for you.

A generation ago, possibly. Not really the case now. And if there are doors to be opened, it’s far more to do with being part of a monied circle than the school you went to; private school is a symptom not a cause, if I can put it like that.

DanceMonster · 09/03/2023 12:41

Plirtle · 09/03/2023 12:37

As does our state school, in fact you can buy them outside if you fancy it.

Show quote history

You could buy them in the sixth form common room of my state school!
Like @Plirtle we don’t have a good state secondary nearby so we plan to send ours to private secondary. We weighed up moving for access to a better state secondary but for many reasons it isn’t our preferred option. I’m hoping we’ll be paying for a nicer environment (our local state secondary is a hotbed of bullying, disruptive behaviour and low level crime), nice facilities and a good choice of extra curricular activities.

Lottsbiffandsmudge · 09/03/2023 12:42

Biggest thing for my DC is the options in 6th form..they build the timetable around the kids' A level choices. And it doesn't matter how small the uptake of an A level it will run.
It allowed my DC to do odd combinations that the local state couldn't offer. It allowed one of my DC to do an A level that wasn't even going to run in the state school.
Great music, drama, sport etc.
Sixth form esp has been excellent. Enrichment opps, lots of volunteering, leadership opportunities etc etc

icypompoms · 09/03/2023 12:43

Mommymoments · 09/03/2023 12:29

I hope the kids that go to the privates realise how lucky they are. I would have loved to go to a private & also be able to give my dc's the opportunity. I know not all are equal but most offer excellent enrichment activities the state just can't afford to offer.

I don't think they are lucky.
We can send ours but would never choose private school. I worked at a private school.

I don't want my children being educated in a bubble meeting only affluent children. I want them being in a healthy balanced environment to prepare them for the real world.

I can't bear the entitled arrogant attitudes that come from private schooling.

Plirtle · 09/03/2023 12:44

Lottsbiffandsmudge · 09/03/2023 12:42

Biggest thing for my DC is the options in 6th form..they build the timetable around the kids' A level choices. And it doesn't matter how small the uptake of an A level it will run.
It allowed my DC to do odd combinations that the local state couldn't offer. It allowed one of my DC to do an A level that wasn't even going to run in the state school.
Great music, drama, sport etc.
Sixth form esp has been excellent. Enrichment opps, lots of volunteering, leadership opportunities etc etc

Yy I'd say the 6th form has been the best part of it definitely.

TheWhalrus · 09/03/2023 12:44

Plirtle · 09/03/2023 12:26

Absolutely hothouse them so that they get probably at least a grade or two more than they'd get if they went to our local state. Everything else is gravy IMO.

This feels 100% spot on to me. Obviously it will depend on specific schools etc, but you do tend to see the downside of this when comparing the performance of state school kids with that of private school kids at university level. State school kids with the same grades tend to do so much better. There are several factors in play here of course, (including that mediocre state school kids maybe don't get into good universities in the first place and that those who do may be more academically gifted than their grades suggest).

Nonetheless, much of the time, barring a few exceptions like access to certain sports and other extracurricular activities, grades are basically what you're paying for here.

maybehon · 09/03/2023 12:45

There are good and bad private schools. Some are much worse than the local state. Some are much better.
A top private school will have excellent teachers, pastoral care and opportunities. A bad private school teaches entitlement and superiority.

The best private schools have a huge focus on community activism, supporting local initiatives and making boys realise that will privilege comes social responsibility.

I cannot emphasise that enough. My kids who go to private schools are kind, community minded and have a big interest in the state of the world. They do not think they are better than anyone.