What do private schools do that state schools don't?

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For me the local private does
Weekly swimming
Learning an orchestra instrument (extra cost)
Debating
Language (Spanish, French, German & afterschool Latin, Mandarin & Russian)
Yoga
Hockey & Lacrosse
Lots of sporting & drama opportunities
Excellent field trips out of school
Ski trip from Y7 onwards..

Would love all that for my dc's but can't afford it. But would love to hear about all the nice extras your dc's get at their private.

Yes, dc school friends are very smart and will probably mostly do well in life as their parents are very motivated too

most of the above, lots and lots of sporting opportunities, clubs of every theme available after school, school trips eg dc is travelling with his choir club on a tour abroad, emphasis on presentation and confidence (which might be seen at this age as arrogance by some!)

The best private schools have a huge focus on community activism, supporting local initiatives and making boys realise that will privilege comes social responsibility.

If only the elite private schools that educated our politicians had bothered to focus on this. They certainly didn't inculcate a sense of social responsibility back then, and I very much doubt that anything has changed since. The schools that are so often referred to as "the best" private schools seem to teach a sense of entitlement above all else. Deeply unattractive!

Mine went to state schools but I feel the main thing that private can do better is the extracurricular things - sports, drama.
One of mine was quite sporty and started off in a great netball team, but once the keen PE teacher left it all went downhill. The local private schools had teams that were way better, by yr 10, because they practiced more.
Same with drama. The school did do a production but there wasn't that depth of opportunities on offer.

Private can also expel pupils for relatively minor offenses, which I don't agree with .

OP
Where are you and which schools are you interested in. There is bursary support at most schools. My experience is that we are very fortunate that ds got a place because our nearest state school option was quite grim. But we did start looking at our options very early on in primary years. Luckily he got a place at a brilliant school that offers so much and he is thriving. We didn't hot house/ we didn't tutor but we were realistic about what we needed to do. His primary school teachers and head were incredibly supportive - so much so that I can't thanks them enough and so were friends who had gone down a similar path.

All schools usually have a broad mix of personalities in children so I'm not sure about all kids being arrogant mentioned up thread.

It really depends on the school and the location but having had three go through different but not very prestigious independents outside London I would say the biggest thing is the ability to do stuff which stretches them laterally within the school day and enhances their school lives beyond the basic. They all have hobbies which they discovered at school and have carried into their young adult life. I wanted the exams to be the by- product of their education not the purpose . Fundamentally I wanted school to be an enjoyable place where they had the time and space to thrive , many modern state schools seem to have lost sight of this . Benefits included in my opion the following:

• trust and mutual respect between the teachers and staff, very few uniform rules and pupils trusted to behave; the school was frequently praised for the quality of the relationships between staff and pupils. Small vertical tutor groups which meant friendships between year groups were encouraged and a tutor stayed with your child throughout their school career. Low teacher turnover .

• lots of extra curricular which you are encouraged to 'try' and an emphasis on joining in even of you were not particularly good

• studying languages and things like art, photography , drama not for exam reasons plus LAMDA, dance, music lessons in school time where children were trusted to move around the school outside of lessons without the hysteria which seems to accompany this in the state sector now. they could also go to the loo!

• Duke of Edinburgh award in school times , debating , young enterprise etc and crucially for everyone in the school who wanted it not just a few

• lots of drama productions , reading aloud competitions , extra curricular lectures, choirs and visits . Lots of volunteering.

• the ability to go 'off piste' in lessons , especially at A level where they had an extra double lesson a fortnight per subject compared to the state alternative. This meant they often talked about things not strictly on the syllabus but which were 'interesting'

• Lots of outdoor space and even in year 11 and older, kids were out 'playing ' at breaktimes and lunch or just sunbathing on the grass , making daisy chains. Proper lunches and breaks in the day.

• sport at all levels

• setting for subjects and lots of individual support and parental feedback. We had report cards every six weeks and two parents evenings a year plus full reports with proper writing about my individual child with their strengths and weaknesses and what to work on , not just numbers and meaningless phrases .

These are just a few things , I think at least one of mine would have got the same if not better academic results at the local state school but the academic kids there are made to do 12 GCSEs and 4 A levels and frankly I wanted school to be fun. I know we are privileged to afford this.

Not all state schools are equal. My dd changed to private in year 9. Her private school doesn’t have amazing facilities but it’s the one she chose over a much larger one. Her former large state school actually had far more, eg a theatre and better indoor sporting facilities. Her former state school received an ofsted outstanding. But it didn’t suit her. She felt stifled, stuck, unable to speak in class, unable to participate in PE when it’s her one of her favourite subjects. She definitely wouldn’t have reached her potential there.

Dd’s small / medium sized private school seem far more relaxed with the students. But it’s very formal and ‘proper’ in other ways. They just expect better behaviour and in the main get it as parents are motivated. The balance seems better. No sanctions for minor uniform infractions for example. And the head can choose to expel someone, the threshold is lower. Dd’s former state otoh accepted permanently excluded students on trial for example and it took a fair amount of troubling behaviour to get to the permanent exclusion stage.

The students in the main enjoy private school, which is the opposite from the state school, where dd went. This seems to bring out the best in the kids, which in turn helps them to achieve better grades. So I don’t think it’s hot housing as such, it’s more the environment is better. The state school nearest to dd’s private school (we aren’t in catchment but did visit) is pretty amazing. It’s ofsted outstanding but it’s on another level from dd’s former state school, which jumped through massive hoops to achieve this ofsted. For me, it’s quasi private education due to the demographic, lots of families are monied and have chosen the school over the private school, so many middle or upper middle class. If anything, this school hot houses the students more than at dd’s school.

Dd’s former state school only hot housed the top achieving 15%. Encouraged them to do things like D of E, organised trips for the hand selected few and seminars with business people. Not publicised at all in the school newsletter but I got wind on the grapevine. I get the reasoning, maybe. But it’s unfair, giving the most able in a state school a leg up.

Dd’s private school otoh encourages them all, gives them all the same opportunity and I think that is a big difference. They don’t write anyone off or compare students in the same way. It’s very much a can do attitude. So much with private school is attitude. I do get the feeling superior vibe coming home from some of dd’s friends. The boys rather than the girls from what she’s said and perhaps that’s because more girls used to go to state.

As For subjects, dd’s school offers only basic, standard subjects for GCSE then German, French and Mandarin. Business studies and psychology for example can only be taken at A level. And the trips they can go on are amazing. Skiing, world challenge trip, geography field trips, Iceland, US etc.

I see it as comparing schools rather than public vs private. Obviously fees matter but it's not a deciding factor in school quality.

My DC are in state primary (Australia). It's been fantastic. We just checked out a small, affordable local private for secondary school because the catchment state high is terrible. The private is tiny so no fancy trimmings, but they have a lot of focus on student wellbeing and individual academic support. Our DS is autistic and as someone said to me today 'the aim is for him to thrive, not just survive'.

After school finishes no one cares what school you went to. So I don't see social benefits to private.

Based on the posts on the Higher Education forum, it sounds like private schools generally provide a lot more support around university applications (particularly Oxbridge) than state schools do.

Sorry not sure what happened with the spacing there 😳

So paying for private might open more doors for your child but what if they end up shunning that whole 'network/connection' thing and, for example, they don't want that swanky internship at a hedge fund in the city ? What if they want to be a gardener instead ?

You can push them in a direction through connections and offer all career opportunities to them on a silver platter... but some kids just won't want that life despise all the efforts and sacrifices the parents have made to get them there.

They teaching at my child’s private secondary is no better than he’s get at a state. I used to moan about the teaching at his prep, but it was far superior than the shit I am currently paying for.

Then I guess they can go and be a gardener instead. I don’t think having gone to a private school will mean they will be immediately turned down for all gardening jobs.

They are an entry ticket to running British society and a fundamental means of upholding the class system.

The government, judiciary, media etc are all dominated by a much higher than proportional number of private school attendees.

Just put that you learned Latin on your linked in profile and see how many more interviews you get.

I think so much boils down to individual schools, teachers and families. For me the biggest draw is the relationship staff have with their pupils at independent schools, particularly the smaller ones. I see students being encouraged to seek out staff to explore common interests in a way that just isn't possible at state schools with more pupils and more hoops to jump through. The independent schools I've visited also take a more holistic approach to learning and developing as a person than the state schools I know. My own experience of an excellent state comprehensive, with a reputation as a hot house, was of a lot of box ticking, hoop jumping and spoon feeding. Equally, there were first teams for sport and not much for those of us who were keen but not talented. Grades, league tables, leavers' destinstions and facilities aren't as important as overall experience.

This whole post is exactly why I’m so nervous about sending my child to our local state schools.
We could choose private if we didn’t end up buying a house and instead continued to rent (tiny house). I’d rather buy a new home but also I really don’t want to put my children into this system.
I went to state school, I didn’t try hard because I wasn’t encouraged, it was easier to fit in and mess around etc. I genuinely don’t know what to do.
My ds is very intelligent, happy to talk to adults etc and confident. However because of this he can get into trouble (not bad but just the occasional telling off etc), all his teachers have said how lovely he is and clever (I think he may need a bit of stretching) but I’m concerned if we sent him to private school whether he would be seen as a naughty chatty boy OR wether they would channel his energy and encourage his inquisitive nature??

Careers advice is usually miles better

Also there are often better equipped labs with no shortages of kit and reagents, so practicals are more frequent and pupils can be more hands on. Art rooms way better supplied. Theatres/drama and dance studios often larger and better equipped.

Sport facilities generally better and range of sports offered usually much greater

More likely to have a CCF

To stand up for my DCs state school, they did do DofE, MUN, mock court, and other things like that. Youngest took part in all of those.
They were better at those sorts of things than sport teams Imo.

Not all. Many don't, and many who do have very loose selection criteria. Plenty of very average pupils are our local 'selective'. They benefit hugely from the smaller class sizes

Hi OP. I went to a state school and didn't have any of the lovely extras described. I did excel though and go on to obtain multiple degrees and have a good job now mixing predominantly with people who were privately educated. I guess I missed out on the music/sports opportunities but I feel I missed on most is the social dynamics. I'm a 30 something professional who doesnt really fit in my with my school friends or now professional colleagues who have "posh" friends. My friends had babies in their teens. I don't have a solid school friendship group like my colleagues do. I didn't go on ski holidays etc. I can afford all these things now but I feel like I dont fit into these circles who've always lived like this. So i guess I feel like an outsider both ways!

I hope you realise not all privates are like this and not all state schools lack this.
Just because a school is private, does not make it better. When will people understand this.

From your list we have had at a state primary and now state secondary:
Weekly swimming- Weekly from y4-6
Learning an orchestra instrument- at no extra cost in y4 for a year. Could choose from saxophone, guitar, violin or trumpet. Could carry on for £50 per term until Y6 and than later they could join the council music service which had a special orchestra continuers service.
Debating- yup
Language- Spanish in primary with french or Turkish after school for free. Spanish and French in secondary with Turkish after school if wanted.
Yoga
Hockey yes but no lacrosse
Lots of sporting & drama opportunities- I'm not sure they had lots, we did have a drama club weekly and a y6 production. Current secondary has an annual production, lamda and drama club. They have tons of sports though and kids get bussed to fixtures and have taken part in London Youth Games.
Excellent field trips out of school- In primary school my daughter went to Wales, Cornwall and Kent as well as tons of trips to museums etc as we're in London.
Ski trip from Y7 onwards- yup, aside from COVID my daughter has gone each time it's ran and it's heavily subsidised.

We are now moving to a private school that has maybe a 1/3rd of this on offer. It's really not a independent Vs private school. Your kids school just sounds a bit rubbish in terms of extra curricular but we've learnt from bitter experience that teaching quality and pastoral care is far more important than any clubs.
Much also depends on the teachers. We've been lucky in that the teachers she's had have taken advantage of absolutely anything the council offers.

I think a lot depends on where you live.

I went to private school - loved it - lots of advantages that others have mentioned, however, I lived in one of the poorest boroughs in England. The local comps were very rough and had poor social outcomes for many students. My parents decided early on we would go to private school.

Fast forward 20+ years I live in an affluent area with options to grammars and very good comps - loads of opportunities for pupils. I have had a look at the local private schools and have found them deeply average - grounds & grades. They do more sport (which I can sort out of school) and have slightly smaller class sizes but other than that not worth forking out £5k per term

Massively depends on the school.

My son does not go to private school for swish facilities (they're not), fewer children with additional needs (there's lots, including him), much better exam results (they're broadly similar to the decent state schools in the area), the "connections" (most people are comfortable middle class, obviously they're the ones who can pay, but people who want networking opportunities go to the fancier public schools nearby), or an unshakeable sense of self importance (ditto, other schools do that).

We chose a private school because when we were looking for a school who could meet the (fairly modest) needs set out in his EHCP they took the time to consider and carefully assess this. We had regular discussions with the SENCO and other staff members to make sure it was the right place. In contrast, the local comp (which is very well regarded, gets excellent results etc), would not respond to emails or calls (including from the local authority) or in any way engage with questions about his additional needs.

What we get is staff who have time for us. Who return emails and phone calls promptly and helpfully. Class sizes of 15. A smaller, more nurturing environment. A bus that collects him from the front door.

I think the tragedy is that state schools are not like this.

I am very well aware of our privilege. I am a socialist who believes there shouldn't be a two tier education system. I know I am a hypocrite for sending my son private. But I could not send him to a state school that showed so much disregard for him before he had even started.

It depends on the school, however the schools my daughters go to benefit from

• Senior school teachers shared with prep so subjects are taught by specialists
• better controls over pupils, they have big waiting lists so do not have to tollerate bad behaviour, disruptive behaviour and the kids are gone.
• lots of clubs aimed at enrichment for example debate club, council meetings with governors.
• Masses of sports clubs from netball to fencing to canoing and climbing.
• Career advice and exposure to various career choices from prep onwards. The kids are introduced to representatives from so many different paths. Parents often are encouraged to participate and come into school to speak in assemblies, lunchtimes or during lessons if linked. My daughters have met and spoken to anything from vets, architects, accountants surgeons, politicians to artists, actors, costume designers, directors lots of careers and they are still in prep.

Then there are the obvious things always quoted of smaller classrooms, better facilities, etc. For us there are many advantages however it depends on what you want yourself whetherc

Plenty of gardeners, people at agricultural college, one of mine did an apprenticeship , florists, dancers etc amongst the alumni of my dc school.

Our local state school offers about 10% of those things you mention. Definitely it is school vs school and not state vs private, but when your local state schools are poor you have very limited options.
I went to state school and ideally that’s where I would send my children. Of course I’d rather not pay tens of thousands of pounds a year, and if the state provision by us was wasn’t so poor I absolutely wouldn’t be paying. Sadly, it is.