What do private schools do that state schools don't?

[Mommymoments]

For me the local private does
Weekly swimming
Learning an orchestra instrument (extra cost)
Debating
Language (Spanish, French, German & afterschool Latin, Mandarin & Russian)
Yoga
Hockey & Lacrosse
Lots of sporting & drama opportunities
Excellent field trips out of school
Ski trip from Y7 onwards..

Would love all that for my dc's but can't afford it. But would love to hear about all the nice extras your dc's get at their private.

Smaller classes sizes, better differentiated learning, better facilities

Having experienced both recently I would say the main advantages of private at primary level are smaller classes, specialised subject teaching (i.e. Science lessons in a lab with a Science teacher), range of pre and post school activities and greater tracking of and feedback on child’s progress. I haven’t found the quality of teaching overall better though and have found the state school to be friendlier.

This isn't particularly true though. There's a world of difference between Eton and a small, rural private that mostly serves soldiers and farmers.

My kids are at a private school. It's not about contacts or superiority, as has been suggested by a few people. It's mainly small class sizes, a range of subjects, zero tolerance on bullying and it's socially acceptable to try hard and do well.

This. The superiority complex is quite remarkable. I've seen it in my best friends kids whose education cost her over £100k.

It doesn't do them any favours once in higher education or work.

The very bog standard secondary mine attends does most of the things their school did but with larger class sizes and less parents with sharp elbows.

I never think it is as simple as state v private.

What I wanted for my daughters was a school that provided an environment (preferably single sex) in which it was normal to be clever, to want to learn, to be encouraged to achieve and to behave well.

Facilities and the curriculum were less of an issue but I wanted a school which recognised the importance of music, the arts and sport, and which provided a wide range of high quality orchestras, choirs and sporting opportunities.

15 years ago, when we were looking for secondary schools for my oldest daughter, our local school provided none of that and was seen by many as a school to avoid. Behaviour was poor, bullying was rife and expectations were low. The management has changed since then and I gather that it is now a sought-after school.

One grammar school (state funded) I know of has a competitive equestrian team (own pony/horse essential) 🤣

This is just an out and out bias

You might be put off by a confident manner and a posh voice but I can tell you it doesn't do any of them any harm later in life. This obsession with teens having to be meek and mild otherwise they'll somehow draw attention to themselves is a peculiarly mumsnet opinion.

Private girls schools have a majority do STEM, particularly Maths, FM, and Physics. Seems to be less pigeon holing of female roles.

You get a longer day, and more "stuff" included, as pp's, music, drama, sport, debating, plays, concerts. Even at day schools the day starts at 7.30 and can end anytime up to midnight!

Lots of things for parents too. Socials, parties, drinks events.

The local comp I taught at offered most of those - or similar. As does the one my own children went to.

Not as much choice in languages and skiing wasn’t every year.

Varied sports on offer including refereeing - but not lacrosse.

Better tech facilities than at least one big player in a Northern town. ( following discussions/comparisons with a younger cousin who went there)

We had timetabled mentoring, vertical forms.

What we didn’t have was a name or an old boys network.

Forget that list op. Most of the children from state schools do those things.

What people are buying, but will never admit, is a privileged white enclave where their precious children are protected from having anything to do with the chavs or disruptive SEND pupils. They teach them all the codes and social signifiers that guarantees they will part of that special club into their adult life too.

@Ridikulus what on earth! 😂

All of this other than yoga and lacrosse and Mandarin/Russian is offered at my kids' state school. Oh and ski trip is only y9 upwards. The music in particular is excellent - foreign music tours every year and so many different bands/orchestras/ensembles on offer. Admittedly it's an outstanding school in an affluent area so that probably makes a difference.

As an outsider, it seems to me the real benefit of private school is smaller class sizes, higher quality teaching and focus on getting good grades (if that's what you're looking for). We have family members with kids in private school, one is currently in y9 and they've started GCSE courses a year early. All the learning will be done in y9/10 and y11 spent on exam practise!

Class sizes - 2 teachers in a class of 10.

Flexible drop off and pick up - anytime from 7.30 drop off, and any time
until 6pm pick up. No extra payment or advance notice required.

Discipline - it’s exemplary.

Forest school and hot chocolate every Friday.

Lunch time clubs in just about everything you can think of, every lunch time.

School trips are very frequent, as are shows, productions, talent shows, dance offs, movie afternoons..

Loads of sport.

If your dc shows any promise at anything at all, be it gym, story writing, sewing, singing, they will be encouraged and given extra attention in this area to accelerate them.

I think it’s more than worth it if you can tbh!

Admittedly it's an outstanding school in an affluent area so that probably makes a difference

Quite. Our ‘requires improvement’ secondary in a very mixed area certainly offers very few of those things. And even if it did, I’m not sure it would stop the children there from bullying those they see as being too clever or studious, preventing the younger kids from using the toilet all day and regularly fighting outside the school gates every day with crowds of onlookers egging them on.

Simple answer, OP. They have lots of money and they select.

My DS is at state school, and although he has some outstanding teachers, the way they teach means that it is just not possible to challenge stretch academically gifted children. There is little/no setting, even at GCSE level, and as a result a huge range of ability in each class. This means that he is often bored and frustrated. I am sure that wouldn't be the case in a private school.

On the plus side, it is a great life education, he is learning to rub along with a wide range of people and he will do fine in his exams - just not as well as he would in a more academic school.

In terms of extra-curriculars, there is good drama, some music, DofE, and a strong focus on a single sport. It only only possible to do a single language (randomly allocated, you don't get to choose).

@Plirtle LOL

"This is just an out and out bias

You might be put off by a confident manner and a posh voice but I can tell you it doesn't do any of them any harm later in life. This obsession with teens having to be meek and mild otherwise they'll somehow draw attention to themselves is a peculiarly mumsnet opinion."

My teen certainly isn't meek and mild, she's a fabulous, confident, young woman with the ability to talk to and engage with anyone. She just doesn't think she's a cut above.

• The absence of petty stresses eg when my child is ill lots we don’t get angry threats of fines we get polite offers of support and remote learning
• Small class sizes
• Respectful staff who actually listen to the children instead of scaring them for a power trip
• Bullies / disruptive children are asked to leave asap
• Because of the lack of disruptive children, my child actually gets attention and tuition, which wasn’t the case at our local state school
• More diverse classmates. In our old class everyone was white, had the same accent, had similar backgrounds, watched the same tv and played the same games. Private school class has children from 4 different races, parents are from wide range of different backgrounds including refugees, low income NHS, and millionaires.
• better tuition
• Sport 4 x a week with option to do much more
• beautiful peaceful building that’s clean
• Science lessons with actual science materials and art lessons with real art materials like clay and oil paint not endless “please bring in loo rolls and cereal boxes” and drama leasons with actual drama teacher
• Individual advice on what secondary school might suit and how best to get it
• Regular practice in life skills like research and giving a presentation

etc

Not cheap tho 👀

Maybe that has something to do with the parenting? My DH went to a private school and he absolutely doesn’t think he’s a ‘cut above’ anyone, because that’s an attitude MIL and FIL wouldn’t tolerate.

My DS is at a private school. He has learning difficulties and is actually assessed cognitively as borderline of maybe needing to be in a special school. Problem is there are none that meet his needs where we are, so he would have to be residential.

Smaller classes. 12 in each class.

Exceptional pastoral care- he usually has to leave class about 4 times a week for some self imposed time out. He pops into the head of year's office and is given a sugary tea and usually a scone or piece of cake. They call me and I have a chat with him and he goes back to class.

Committed, interested teachers. I have no doubt this is not unique to private schools but it is something we value very much.

Reasonable adjustments galore. Plus plenty of good nature about it- he is not a burden.

Longer days - 8.15 to 4.20. Wrap around care with before school clubs and after school clubs for those who need them and can cope.

Fabulous communication with parents- and their lockdown home schooling programme was exceptional. Zoom live classes- including PE.

Terrific extra curricular- although mine cannot access it due to his needs. But for those who can- sailing, horse riding, fencing, lacrosse, community based projects, skiing.

I dislike it when people just put a blanket dismissal on private school parents as being motivated by social connections or buying places into uni. We made choices based on things that have nothing at all to do with university (he is unlikely to go).

We have been so lucky with our school. Abd lucky that we can afford it. I never take any of that for granted.

Due to size and size and buildings create a cosy warm atmosphere.

Cushion them from ever having to deal with the hard truths of life, or people who are different to them/have more difficult lives.

More knee jerk ignorance

I don't know any private school kid that thinks they are a cut above. They can talk to adults and they are happy. That really gets up some.peoples noses.