What do private schools do that state schools don't?

[Mommymoments]

For me the local private does
Weekly swimming
Learning an orchestra instrument (extra cost)
Debating
Language (Spanish, French, German & afterschool Latin, Mandarin & Russian)
Yoga
Hockey & Lacrosse
Lots of sporting & drama opportunities
Excellent field trips out of school
Ski trip from Y7 onwards..

Would love all that for my dc's but can't afford it. But would love to hear about all the nice extras your dc's get at their private.

Having money doesn’t stop people having difficult lives, what absolute rubbish. There are difficulties in life that aren’t financial. My children at private school will still be coming home to their extremely disabled sibling who can’t access formal education at all, and all the difficulties (and joy) that involves for us as a family.

Well funny that, she sounds just like mine.

Cushion them from ever having to deal with the hard truths of life, or people who are different to them/have more difficult lives what absolute bullshit! The curse of a narrow mind.

Having a very sporty DS I think that the focus on sport at a private school is the one thing that 'stands out'. He plays cricket and got into the county squad ... one of only two from State Schools but I am pleased he persevered and now at Uni he still plays whereas many of the other boys have given up. We are lucky where we live as the local comp is perfectly good ... they did offer ski trips etc and we were fortunate enough to be able to afford to pay for them ... and for private tutors to supplement the teaching ... not saying it wasn't good enough ... but my DS lacked motivation in studying for his exams so we were in effect paying for the one to one support.

I live near appx 4 private prep schools, none are very good, but its a status thing to attend them....A friend went to a private school and she often says how she thought everyone had a horse and a pool etc in their back garden ! So its a bubble or can be if not interaction with others.

Drama, debate, programming, languages (including Mandarin and Arabic), music (including piano and drums), tennis, swimming, ski trips (and courses), martial arts course, netball, small classes, specialist teachers, their own veggie garden, well-balanced menu for lunches (on prem chef, no junk food), no phones in school policy, zero tolerance policy for bullying... Most importantly, as other PPs mentioned - confidence and resilience (which are two focal points of our local private that DD attends).

@Banrockmystation

My ds is very intelligent, happy to talk to adults etc and confident. However because of this he can get into trouble (not bad but just the occasional telling off etc), all his teachers have said how lovely he is and clever (I think he may need a bit of stretching) but I’m concerned if we sent him to private school whether he would be seen as a naughty chatty boy OR wether they would channel his energy and encourage his inquisitive nature??

Again depends on the school but there will be chatty boys in lots of classes at private school too. The difference might be it is just 1 rather than 10 in the class, so this makes a difference as to how disruptive it is for the teacher and other pupils.

My ds can be chatty in some classes but his teachers also say he is also hard working and focused. His grades are excellent.

I get the impression his school the boys are allowed to be boys and not every minor misdemeanour results in sanctions which are not always effective but are generally time consuming for the school. There is also a lot of time for sport before during and after school which is great for a lot of children.

In the past I'm not sure about now, state schools relied heavily on punitive measures which often didn't solve the problems but labelled kids very quickly. .

Thank you for your reply, this is exactly what I think I have been considering but just not able to put into words.
Im not a massive fan of the whole ‘boys will be boys’ thing (I’ve got a girl too). But they are different and require different ways of teaching or encouraging and mine is very physical but loves knowing new things and understanding the world around him.
This thread has definitely given me something to think about.

Many children who have been privately educated seem to have lots of confidence.Also seem to be over represented in BBC,Acting roles and so on .High flyers at Banking ,Law. I would have sent mine in a second ,but like many others cant afford to.My DS has done very well in a good State School ,and has an MSC from a RG uni though

Richer bullies (in my experience)

Honestly, my state 6th form was significantly better than my private secondary school (which is still rated as one of the top ones and is extremely expensive)

The standard of teaching was much much better at my sixth form college.

I have had one in state and one in private. benefits of private was smaller class sizes and therefore more teacher attention, less disruption and therefore more interesting lessons often. better access to IT. other than that, opportunities have been the same just everything is grander and more aesthetic at private. would 100% choose state if I had to do it again and wouldn't send a child private, even with full bursary

I really don't know about this whole 'network' thing. Maybe it is true of some of the famous schools around London, but it certainly didn't seem to be a thing for my children in smaller independent schools in the South West. They have all stayed friends with a small handful of people from school, but they were genuine friends, rather than people who would be seen as any kind of useful connection.
In answer to the OP question, they had small class sizes and a lot of individual support throughout their time in school. Two of mine wanted to study classics and the school laid on Greek as an extra. My youngest was able to do Latin and Greek at A level, which he couldn't have done at any of the (many) local state schools. It doesn't mean that kids can't go and study these things at uni if they haven't done them in school (Oxford, UCL and others will teach them from scratch), but having absorbed them over 5 or 6 years rather than scrambling to do it in a year has given him a big advantage in his further study. It wasn't the reason for choosing those schools, because we had no idea what they would want to do later, but it gave them those opportunities that they might not otherwise have had. One was also a cathedral chorister, which was a pretty amazing experience, that he couldn't have otherwise had. Also the chunky scholarship helped a lot towards the fees.
If I'm being brutally honest, all mine were quite shy and a bit quirky and I thought they would be happier in a more sheltered environment. They were all quite slow to mature, and I wasn't in any hurry to toughen them up. They got there in the end and have all turned out as well-adjusted, hard-working and happy adults so it was the right decision for them.

Teachers have time for you and time for our child. We get daily feedback a long with 6 reports each year and several parents evenings. If your child doesn’t understand something taught one way they have the time to try another way especially with such small class sizes they can tailor your child’s education to your child and gives them the time to think outside the box with their teaching. There are no regularly disruptive children in the class disrupting lessons as it just isn’t tolerated.

Our ds has mild extra needs and due to the small classes they know him so well and how to get the best out of him, they know how to predict him and everything is tailored to him even down to food as they know it affects him so much so they give him double break snacks, an extra sandwich at 12 and monitor carefully what he has for lunch and offer to make him something else if needed as they know he needs to keep his weight up. I think in a state school he would have got lost. He does so much sport which gives him an outlet and is the reward for the academic work.

He does sport at every day and I think at least 3 times a week twice a day. Specialist teachers for all subjects and he is learning 3 languages in prep school.

He adores 2 sports which he plays in and out of school and although yes there are some kids that buck the trend but as a friend with a state school child said to me you can instantly tell which go to private and which state due to the sheer amount of time they get playing the sport.

We are about to move to secondary and we are staying with private. The new school has amazing facilities and opportunities and the sport is amazing particularly for rugby which is our son’s passion, it works with a premiership rugby team who help train them and if your child likes rugby it is very hard for them to play for top teams without going to private school. If you just look at say England or the top premiership clubs they often list the schools for under 18 team members and a vast majority of them will be from private schools as they start them early provide the specialist regular training both in technical skills but also time in the gym etc

If I'm being brutally honest, all mine were quite shy and a bit quirky and I thought they would be happier in a more sheltered environment. They were all quite slow to mature, and I wasn't in any hurry to toughen them up. They got there in the end and have all turned out as well-adjusted, hard-working and happy adults so it was the right decision for them.

That makes perfect sense to me. It isn't really about whether state or private schools are better. More about which environment will suit your dc best. I can totally see why smaller classes and a more sheltered environment would be right for some children. For others, it wouldn't necessarily be right at all.

Okay, fair enough.

I will edit my statement, "often cushions them from having to deal or see the hard truths of life, or people who are different to them."

I appreciate the backlash to this statement on here and I guess it's not true of all private school children. But, I've met loads and loads of private school families because of extended family/work contacts, and while most are lovely and I genuinely like them, their children's complete obliviousness to anyone or anything that is different to them is almost always there. Not in a bad, evil, mean way, but nonetheless, it exists.

It's in the way they're so surprised that other children don't know how to do x or y. Or their genuine confusion that other schools don't offer the same things as theirs. Or their frustration when another child struggles with a game or the rules of something new.

And often the parents, who genuinely mean well etc, are equally clueless.

My daughter is in a private prep school. I have to challenge the "it's so limiting socially" line that is trotted out so often. Maybe in some ultra exclusive ones it is. However my daughter's school is not that expensive so has families from different socio economic backgrounds. Some are ultra rich, some are working professionals who could have a more comfortable life if they didn't have school fees to pay but have chosen to prioritise this. There's also a fair mix of different races within the school.

Compared to the local state primaries, which have very small catchment areas and, in a lot of cases are either all White British or all Asian (mostly Pakistani around here), the independent school, because kids are coming from a wider area, actually has MORE diversity and not less.

@SavBlancTonight agree totally, of course wealth is a cushion

I really don't know about this whole 'network' thing. Maybe it is true of some of the famous schools around London, but it certainly didn't seem to be a thing for my children in smaller independent schools in the South West.

I think "network" can be a bit more varied. You're right, to get that introduction for a fabulous internship in Westminster, a private school in Cornwall probably won't deliver. But there are other, equally useful networks. My sister's DC are privately educated and their extended friendship and social circle is the same. When I meet them, they're all doctors, and accountants, and lawyers and the like, working for large, mainstream organisations etc and there are chats happening like, "ooh, Johnny is interested becoming a surgeon, why doesn't he come spend a day with my mate Bob who is a general surgeon...." or "if he's interested in a career in finance I can give him some tips."

Even in our mostly middle class state school environment, these sorts of connections are limited. and the parents have perfectly good jobs and incomes but it's much more insular. My DC's closest friends' parents include: a builder, a plumber, a care home manager, an independent insurance broker, an accountant (for a small firm), a pharmacist, a project manager. All good jobs but not necessarily as helpful from that "networking" perspective.

@Phos where is this diverse private school? ime only boarding schools with international students have any kind of diversity besides a few Chinese kids. constant low level racism squashed my kids confidence lower than it already was. would love to see true diversity in private schools

unless it's one of the old public boys schools that's rubbish

benefits of private was smaller class sizes and therefore more teacher attention, less disruption and therefore more interesting lessons often

Yep this.

Our ds has mild extra needs and due to the small classes they know him so well and how to get the best out of him, they know how to predict him

And this.

Also as PP have mentioned, the sport. DD is not sporty, on the contrary, but she has a condition which means she benefits hugely from exercise. If it wasn’t a big part of normal school life I doubt she’d do much. It has massively helped her to be somewhere they do hours of sport a week and where it’s normal to do lots of sport out of school as well - both girls and boys.

Ours has lots of kids from different countries which is nice but they are not economically diverse

Our local private school is very diverse. More diverse than the local state schools.....which is a huge bonus! A lot of scholarships are awarded to kids in the nearby council estate and its amazing. So it's economically diverse and culturally diverse too. 😊

(We live in the council estate)

my daughter is at private school. None of the girls wee at school. Apparently it's weird. Who knew?