What do private schools do that state schools don't?

[Mommymoments]

For me the local private does
Weekly swimming
Learning an orchestra instrument (extra cost)
Debating
Language (Spanish, French, German & afterschool Latin, Mandarin & Russian)
Yoga
Hockey & Lacrosse
Lots of sporting & drama opportunities
Excellent field trips out of school
Ski trip from Y7 onwards..

Would love all that for my dc's but can't afford it. But would love to hear about all the nice extras your dc's get at their private.

(I totally agree that if e.g. the child's home life is particularly challenging that making it as easy for them at school would be very desirable)

Just to be clear, the fact that my children experience difficulties at home due to the serious disabilities of my youngest isn’t the reason I’m sending them to private secondary. I would be sending them regardless, because our state option is so poor. I was just pointing out that private education doesn’t mean children don’t experience difficulties in life.
I don’t think any children should have to deal with violence in their classrooms, being prevented from using the toilet during the school day, drug issues in their learning environment, issues with sexual assault etc. I don’t think that any of those things will provide a good lesson in resilience, or should be seen as ‘obstacles to be overcome’, in order for them to succeed.

Very personal circumstances. We moved DS to a private prep after problems that his state primary were unable or unwilling to resolve.

This time last year, he was crying when he had to go into school. Today, he's in tears because he's ill and has to miss a day.

Just my child, just our local area, just our circumstances. Maybe that's it? What suits one family and / or a particular child, and the good fortune to have the choice.

If we are of a mind to throw up roadblocks to gaining an education, how much struggling is desirable? How much exposure to the grimmer aspects of realities? How much resilience and overcoming do we want to see?

Very good point, Whump. I am also interested to hear any answers to this.

I have a friend who was vehemently against private schools, quite vocal about it to me (my kids were in private). One of her kids was being bullied and having a miserable time at school. She ‘reluctantly’ moved him to private and his school experience completely changed. No bullying (he’s SEN), made friends (wide variety of ethnicities and other SEN so a lot of diversity and inclusion) and, well my friend never criticised private education again. You just try to do the best for your children with the cards you have and not be judgemental either way. I’m just glad her child ended up happy and I never pulled her up on her hypocrisy.

I have just spent the morning at my DCs school. (Private). DS1 has a range of SEN plus very low cogntiive functioning.

The morning was (among other things) discussing SEN provision. In passing it said that about 27% of the students have SEN (In a school with a population under 1000) and they were discussing things like exam access arrangements etc. It was pretty impressive and I was very impressed.

So the idea prejudice that private schools weed out SEN students and have a lack of diversity where that is concerned is not my experience in our school.

I do think that some (note I said some) private school children do live in quite a protective bubble. That's true of some state school children as well, of course.

Redskylight so if it’s ok for some state school children to live in a bubble then what’s wrong with some private school children doing the same?

@redskylight I completely understand this is your experience in comparison to your local school, and I'm glad you're able to provide that for your kids but your list is just a school Vs school issue. Not state Vs private.
Our friends moved their daughter from the local mediocre London comp to a private school that had the Hogwarts buildings and nice magazines. They raved about it until the girls first day. She ended up going to AE on her first day as a group of kids offered her cannabis laced gummies, she alongside a group of others had awful reactions. To add to that, the same week the sixth formers had their leaving prank and decided to set fireworks off in the building and one broke off a bit of a display board cracking and hitting this child in her back. She thankfully wasn't hurt but this is an oversubscribed private school that's 25k a year! She's in classes of 27, has less support than my daughter and overall is quite miserable. She's moving back to state for sixth form.
My point is, this is very anecdotal, just like your experience. Your list is very general and not reflective of the whole sector.

I don't think I've provided any sort of list? Was this aimed at another poster?

I think children living in a protective bubble where they are entirely insulated from life is a problem regardless of which school you go to. For the reasons I've already stated upthread

But posters on this thread have specifically said they chose private school because they didn't want to expose their children to the challenges of the local state school. So I'm assuming for at least those posters there is a perception that private school=protective bubble; state school=not.

I do think a child in a private school is more likely to be more protected than one in a state school (at a macro level) simply because children who are young carers, disabled, from deprived backgrounds, in local authority care etc etc are more likely to end up in state schools than private ones. But of course there are many different challenges in life and absolutely some of them will affect children who go to private schools.

Absolutely I don’t want to expose my children to daily violence, disruption, drug issues etc that are all very well known to occur at my local state school. That doesn’t mean putting them in a ‘protective bubble’ though, just providing a calm and supportive learning environment.

I think children living in a protective bubble where they are entirely insulated from life is a problem regardless of which school you go to.

Entirely insulated from life ?

I doubt any school can manage that. Not should it.

But a school that protects children from drugs, aggression and disruption seems like a good idea?

My DC do all that you have mentioned except lacrosse and yoga, German, Russian and Latin at their state schools (two different secondaries). Though I went to private school and have never played lacrosse...

There are lots of reasons parents choose to pay fees. One reason eg for me was single sex schooling - a protective bubble in school for the children away from the other sex! Many private schools however are mixed so that is just one tiny reason amongst many and only relevant for some.