Sleeping in the living or dining room - making it work

[gwrachod]

We're 4 people in a 3 bed - my DC's dad and I live as if a couple still, even though we haven't shared a bed for years, and never will again.

Eventually, we'll either split or move to a bigger house, but neither are on the cards just now, so I need to work out a semi-permanent solution.

The DC are 10 and 15.

I was on the sofa in the living room for the first few years, then we swapped last summer. DP is on the sofa, but it just isn't working having the living room doubling up as his bedroom, I knew it wouldn't (which is why I chose the sofa originally). So, I need to work out how else to do it.

There is one v. large bedroom. DS (15) is in it and I'd like to keep him there, as he's getting bigger and needs space for his hobbies and studying for his GCSEs.

Then there's also a double bedroom, a single bedroom and the dining room, the same size as the double.

I'm thinking DD in the double, so she has space to play and have mates round, "DP" in the single and me in the dining room.

But I'm not keen on losing the dining room completely.

Am I mad to think I could keep it as a dual function room? I've been looking at daybeds and thinking of having it as a dual function room. Is this a crazy idea?

If I do that there's no space for a wardrobe, I'd maybe have to get a large wardrobe for DD's room and share it, or convert the hall cupboard into my wardrobe.

Or, should I just accept we lose the dining room, and always eat in the front room?

What would you do?

Look up Murphy beds. They fold up against the wall- look on marketplace and see if you can find one second hand. They just hide up against the wall when not in use. I know someone with one so it's an office/guest room.

However, from seeing your set up, just convert the dining room to your bedroom. You still have a lounge and if it's only for a year, it's not worth worrying over the impact of not having a dining room. It's important for all of you to have your own space and I don't think it's going to massively impact you selling

From your floor plan I would turn your dining room into a proper bedroom for now. I highly recommend the most expensive version of the the IKEA Lycksele sofa bed, I think it's under £350. It folds out into a really comfy proper bed, but can be folded when you sell.

Could you have a long narrow breakfast bar along the wall next to the kitchen in the living room. When you sell, you can move the chairs /stools away and it can be more of a console table/shelf.

You can probably get a cupboard and a chest for the dining room for your clothes that wouldn't look too out of place in a reception room when you come to sell.

What about a caravan on the driveway!

Just under 12' by 10.5' approximately.

No great DIY skills sadly.

@gwrachod
I'm sorry to ask the obvious why on earth are you and "dp" still living together?
You aren't "together"
Why doesn't he just move out??? This all sounds crazy

www.ikea.com/gb/en/p/friheten-klagshamn-corner-sofa-bed-with-storage-skiftebo-dark-grey-s29444332/

what about something like this for your living room which means one adult has a proper bed for night time (rather than sofa atm which I presume isn’t a sofa bed) but the home layout stays the same for selling, kids can keep rooms etc?

Both are the same to me? A year is semi permanent, isn't it?

And I'm not sure exactly when we'll be in a position to sell. Worst case scenario, it may take longer. I hope not, but you never know.

Good to know it's comfy, I'll look it up, thanks.

Could you split up amicably and co parent accordingly?

Now that's a whole other thread! And if we get into that, it will be a huge diversion and I won't get the advice I need, which is on how to make this set up work as best as possible, for now.

Not possible sadly.

I'm proud that both of my DC have lovely natures. Neither are selfish or entitled.

There is absolutely nothing lovely or loving about your children hogging large comfortable bedrooms to themselves while their mother sleeps on a sofa in the living room for years on end! Look at what you've already done to them, what this setup has normalised for them. Pretending to be a happy nuclear family in a large house with lots of space is not healthy for anyone when it's not actually true.

Why would you be moving to a bigger house if you aren't together ?

I would describe a year as temporary. I wouldn't bother moving the DD at all to be honest

I don't want to go back to sleeping in the living room, and it's not working for me having DP in there, I want to have access to it as a living space without having to wake him up and move him out of it.

I could put a sofabed in the dining room, but would need to rethink the table.

A year is a long time when you're 10. I'd like her to have more space to play and hang out with friends, and she's not averse to the idea now (she was a year ago).

But it doesn't sound like she is desperate for a bigger room so it seems a bit martyry to prioritise that over you having any space in the house

Whichever room DD has, there is still the problem of where does the second adult go.

You need to give up the dining room temporarily. It's the only viable option really. And you'll feel better having a room for yourself.

That leaves you with the problem of where to eat together. But that's a much smaller problem than where you will sleep and store your things and have space for yourself.

I’d also recommend the Lycksele from IKEA. It feels much more like a proper bed than most other sofa beds. We have a guest with us two-three nights a week every week and they happily use it. You can find it here:

www.ikea.com/gb/en/p/lycksele-havet-2-seat-sofa-bed-vansbro-dark-grey-s79387131/

Can you get rid of the desk and use the table for work? That way you’d have space for cupboards or a wardrobe. You could also change the table to a drop leaf table (you can pick these up on FB Marketplace for about £50) and you could have half of it up as a desk or all up for dinner. It could be folded down the rest of the time.

Hi OP - me and dh sleep in the sitting room. We have two of these which make into a corner sofa.

I chose really comfy mattresses and have some stretchy mattress covers to make them look more sofary during the day.

I then have some discrete storage which has a more living room vibe.

It works really well.

If you can put a hanging rail in the airing cupboard that would make a big difference . Perhaps keep the top shelf for some bedding and towels but move the rest into the right person's bedroom (should be fine given the kids both have big rooms).

With downstairs, could you effectively create two sitting rooms. Sounds daft initially but may work better for resale.

So thin out the furniture in the main living room to make room to accommodate a table so it becomes living/dining. A table with a bench one side so it is neat and a couple of comfy dining chairs that can be multi functional might work.

Then dress the second one as a cosy second snug (which might be helpful in avoiding each other!). Either with a day bed or with a decent sofa bed.

Make sure it has storage like the IKEA ones suggested or go for something like this where you can stash all your bedding easily l. I'd get a thin memory foam topper and effectively roll the lot so it is a very quick set up/fold away. Then you have another space to snuggle with your daughter and watch a film which dad watches something else.
www.habitat.co.uk/product/6980038?&cmpid=cpc&utm_source=Google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=6717019354&utm_content=shopping&utm_term=&utm_custom1=79002086763&utm_custom2=785-748-9804&gclid=CjwKCAiAmJGgBhAZEiwA1JZoljeIbyHWtGhSPbrcFMyWXHQeqwkL721vlQCSgyj2nfF0bWeAfw66lBoC278QAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

What does your DH think? Im interested in his view? Certainly for me the dining room has to be used. Everyone can eat on their knee with a tray in the lounge so then u can ditch the table. A small thing for everyone to do in the scheme of things.

Ah okay, then I’d second IKEA LYCKSELE sofa bed then. It’s a firm bed but feels like a proper solid bed and folds up quite compact. It might even fit in your bay window if the same as floor plan. It’s not the best as a sofa but it’s a decent folding bed and reasonably priced too. I think swapping the sideboard for a chest of drawers for your clothes and ‘dressing’ the top to look like a dining sideboard would mean the room could be very much dining room by day, bedroom by night. Good luck for your future selling/plans OP x

If you keep a bigger room, you can store all yours and DP's stuff in it which makes it easier to have the dining room for sleeping and dining, because it doesn't need as much clothes storage.

If you give your DD the bigger room, you have more storage issues.