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Original poster

Sleeping in the living or dining room - making it work

249 replies

gwrachod · 04/03/2023 23:17

We're 4 people in a 3 bed - my DC's dad and I live as if a couple still, even though we haven't shared a bed for years, and never will again.

Eventually, we'll either split or move to a bigger house, but neither are on the cards just now, so I need to work out a semi-permanent solution.

The DC are 10 and 15.

I was on the sofa in the living room for the first few years, then we swapped last summer. DP is on the sofa, but it just isn't working having the living room doubling up as his bedroom, I knew it wouldn't (which is why I chose the sofa originally). So, I need to work out how else to do it.

There is one v. large bedroom. DS (15) is in it and I'd like to keep him there, as he's getting bigger and needs space for his hobbies and studying for his GCSEs.

Then there's also a double bedroom, a single bedroom and the dining room, the same size as the double.

I'm thinking DD in the double, so she has space to play and have mates round, "DP" in the single and me in the dining room.

But I'm not keen on losing the dining room completely.

Am I mad to think I could keep it as a dual function room? I've been looking at daybeds and thinking of having it as a dual function room. Is this a crazy idea?

If I do that there's no space for a wardrobe, I'd maybe have to get a large wardrobe for DD's room and share it, or convert the hall cupboard into my wardrobe.

Or, should I just accept we lose the dining room, and always eat in the front room?

What would you do?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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Original poster
gwrachod · 05/03/2023 07:31

Mummyoflittledragon · 05/03/2023 07:05

If you’re selling soon, sharing with your dd is the perfect solution. The room would be hers for friends etc and you could decamp to the living room for sleepovers. My dd has her own room but slept with me for approximately 5 years and until she was 11 and in secondary. You should also really have the master set up as the parental bedroom for viewings so I would swap with your ds when it’s time to sell and if you need to buy new duvet covers, these could be ones, which appeal to your dd as she will be getting more mature tastes soon or just plain white as that’s a good option for selling as long as you add accent colours.

In essence, I’d save your money for the move and for anything, which adds value to your home (as in staging it) as you will take this with you to your next house.

Yes, I think you're right, when we're getting the house ready for sale, we'll need to put the main bedroom back as a master bedroom while we're having viewings.

So this solution, whatever it is, will only be temporary, for about a year or less even.

OP posts:
Original poster
gwrachod · 05/03/2023 07:33

timeforachang3 · 05/03/2023 07:17

Couldn’t they study at dining room table? That’s where I studied

DS needs his computer to study (which is a PC with large monitor, not a laptop) and all his art stuff. I'd much rather all that be in his room than in shared space.

OP posts:
AlwaysLatte · 05/03/2023 07:35

Another vote for not confusing the usage of the rooms of making them look smaller to potential buyers, if selling is a priority.
I was also going to suggest a caravan!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Home improvement
AlwaysLatte · 05/03/2023 07:35

(For your ex).

AlwaysLatte · 05/03/2023 07:36

Oh sorry, just seen your reply.

GrilledCheeseTomatoSoup · 05/03/2023 07:36

We have just had a normal single ikea mattress on the dining room floor before. Every night, moved the table over slightly, tucked chairs under the table and the mattress on the floor. Every day, we stood it up either at the side of the room or shifted it to the corridor. When we had people to look round, I put it on DC's single bed and put a blanket over it so it looked like the bed was a slightly higher than usual single.

If you are definite about moving and have a time frame, I'd either do that or put bunk beds in the 2nd largest room and share with DD. But it would have to have a time limit.

I agree with whoever said you need to make it look as "normal usage" as possible else you'll put off buyers who will think it's cramped.

GnomeDePlume · 05/03/2023 07:36

How frequently do you want to use the downstairs room as a dining room? Is this daily or less frequently?

We have a guest room which doubles as my sewing room (ie big table)

Essentially it is a poor man's murphy bed set up. DH made me a really sturdy drop leaf table. We bought a pine bed frame from argos.

When the room is being used as a sewing room the bed is stood on its end against one wall. There are hooks to keep it securely in place.

When the room is being used as a bedroom the sewing table is folded away and the bed is down.

Could something like that work for you?

Original poster
gwrachod · 05/03/2023 07:37

Maireas · 05/03/2023 06:18

If your son has a very large room, put a single bed in it for DP. You and your daughter have the other bedrooms.
Study on the dining room table.
Both receptions fully useful for family life.

DP and DS sharing won't work. I'm not going to go too far into our family dynamic as I want to focus on practical solutions, but this just wouldn't work for either of them.

Whatever solution we come up with, I want the DC to have their own space where they can have friends over.

OP posts:
TruthRevolution · 05/03/2023 07:39

Do you have room in your hall for a wardrobe OP.
We solved two storage problems by doing this (DS tiny bedroom with no room for wardrobe and untidy coat storage in hall)
We got a large second hand wardrobe for the hall and it works well and really tidies the space by containing the clothes, coats, bags, scarves etc.

Sleeping in the living or dining room - making it work
Original poster
gwrachod · 05/03/2023 07:40

GnomeDePlume · 05/03/2023 07:36

How frequently do you want to use the downstairs room as a dining room? Is this daily or less frequently?

We have a guest room which doubles as my sewing room (ie big table)

Essentially it is a poor man's murphy bed set up. DH made me a really sturdy drop leaf table. We bought a pine bed frame from argos.

When the room is being used as a sewing room the bed is stood on its end against one wall. There are hooks to keep it securely in place.

When the room is being used as a bedroom the sewing table is folded away and the bed is down.

Could something like that work for you?

Possibly...

We don't need to use it as a dining room every day. As long as we are round the table a few times a week, that'd be better than never, I guess.

OP posts:
Original poster
gwrachod · 05/03/2023 07:42

TruthRevolution · 05/03/2023 07:39

Do you have room in your hall for a wardrobe OP.
We solved two storage problems by doing this (DS tiny bedroom with no room for wardrobe and untidy coat storage in hall)
We got a large second hand wardrobe for the hall and it works well and really tidies the space by containing the clothes, coats, bags, scarves etc.

Sadly not. I do have a cupboard in the hall upstairs, though, that could be turned into a small wardrobe maybe.

It currently has all our bedding and towels in it.

OP posts:
Kitchenette · 05/03/2023 07:48

I would make the dining room into a permanent bedroom for either you or your ex, with a decent bed, then set up a folding table and chairs in the sitting room when you all want to eat together (move the sofas etc out of the way if necessary). You need your own private space!

TruthRevolution · 05/03/2023 07:53

How about.

You and DD in largest room. Decorated for selling as master with twin beds. You sleep in there and she gets room the rest of the time for having friends round etc.

DS in double (is there space for hobby stuff in the next size double room?)

P in small room.

Theelephantinthecastle · 05/03/2023 07:55

You're going to have to compromise on something

If your priority is both kids getting big rooms fully to themselves - no wardrobe and bits in DD's room ---> proper bedroom in the dining room for you with all your things

If your priority is the house being sale ready ---> keep your DD in her small room or share the double with her

Unless you have a tardis, you can't store everything of yours in a dining room and keep it as a dining room

Original poster
gwrachod · 05/03/2023 07:58

This isn't my house, but it's almost identical.

The small and the double don't look so different in actual area, but they feel it in real life as the shape of the single means there's not much usable space once you have furniture in there - the square one has a lot more usable space.

i can't work out if the dimensions are slightly different, with the biggest bedroom and the living room slightly bigger on ours, or if it just feels that way!

it's a very close match, anyway. Much better than I could do with pen and paper!

The other differences are one of the hallway "cupboards" is a downstairs WC on ours, and another is a small utility. Oh, and our larder opens into the kitchen.

Sleeping in the living or dining room - making it work
Sleeping in the living or dining room - making it work
OP posts:
Original poster
gwrachod · 05/03/2023 07:59

TruthRevolution · 05/03/2023 07:53

How about.

You and DD in largest room. Decorated for selling as master with twin beds. You sleep in there and she gets room the rest of the time for having friends round etc.

DS in double (is there space for hobby stuff in the next size double room?)

P in small room.

When we get ready for selling, this could work well. It's the year before that I'm trying to figure out.

OP posts:
Stravaig · 05/03/2023 08:02

CovertImage · 05/03/2023 00:05

I think that adults subsuming their own needs / requirements for their kids is good for no-one, including the kids

I agree with this. Parents who martyr themselves 'for the kids' results in selfish and entitled adult children with an inflated sense of their own importance in the world.

OP, what are you modelling to them about honest, loving relationships? About equality? About working together as a team? About how to live and parent responsibly?

OhBeAFineGuyKissMe · 05/03/2023 08:04

The way I have interpreted this is the plan is to sell but, reasons, not for a year. So you need a workable solution that costs as little as possible.

I would go with an inexpensive folding bed - like this one. Mostly down as a bed but 2-3 times a week folded out of the way for meals.

Then when viewing hidden in the shed/garage.

For clothes - is there room in the dining room for a sideboard? Then use that but keeps the look of the dining room.

GnomeDePlume · 05/03/2023 08:04

How big is the dining room? (Roughly)

What are your collective DIY skills like and do you have tools or know someone who does?

Straightsidedcircle · 05/03/2023 08:12

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
gwrachod · 05/03/2023 08:12

Stravaig · 05/03/2023 08:02

I agree with this. Parents who martyr themselves 'for the kids' results in selfish and entitled adult children with an inflated sense of their own importance in the world.

OP, what are you modelling to them about honest, loving relationships? About equality? About working together as a team? About how to live and parent responsibly?

Show quote history

I've said very little about my relationship as I'm after practical advice on the best set up.

I'm not going to go into details as I suspect it will spawn a massive diversion from planning the house set up.

When DS was little, MIL suggested giving him the big room so all his toys would be out of the way.

This was a hard no, as DP and I did share a room then, and I didn't mind children's toys in the living room. But people's needs change and right now DS's hobbies need a lot of space. I'd rather his hobby stuff was out of the way in his room.

I don't think sometimes putting your DC's needs first is martying yourself.

I'm proud that both of my DC have lovely natures. Neither are selfish or entitled.

The current set up isn't ideal, hence this thread.

We're modelling living and parenting responsibly best we can, how about you?

OP posts:
Original poster
gwrachod · 05/03/2023 08:15

OhBeAFineGuyKissMe · 05/03/2023 08:04

The way I have interpreted this is the plan is to sell but, reasons, not for a year. So you need a workable solution that costs as little as possible.

I would go with an inexpensive folding bed - like this one. Mostly down as a bed but 2-3 times a week folded out of the way for meals.

Then when viewing hidden in the shed/garage.

For clothes - is there room in the dining room for a sideboard? Then use that but keeps the look of the dining room.

Yes, there is a sideboard.

Currently the dining room has the following:

Dining table, small desk (for working from home) piano, sideboard.

OP posts:
Original poster
gwrachod · 05/03/2023 08:17

OhBeAFineGuyKissMe · 05/03/2023 08:04

The way I have interpreted this is the plan is to sell but, reasons, not for a year. So you need a workable solution that costs as little as possible.

I would go with an inexpensive folding bed - like this one. Mostly down as a bed but 2-3 times a week folded out of the way for meals.

Then when viewing hidden in the shed/garage.

For clothes - is there room in the dining room for a sideboard? Then use that but keeps the look of the dining room.

Yes, that's right, an inexpensive solution for a year would be great.

OP posts:
NextPrimeMinister · 05/03/2023 08:18

The easiest thing would be to convert the dining room to a bedroom and buy a rail for your long hanging items.

I appreciate you'd prefer to eat together a couple of times a week but something is going to have to give as you have some other rigid requirements that you don't want to compromise on.

When it comes to selling revert back to BAU usage, and sleep in the lounge.

Theelephantinthecastle · 05/03/2023 08:20

In your OP, you said it would be a "semi permanent" arrangement - but now that it would be a year, which is it because it makes a lot of difference?