Sleeping in the living or dining room - making it work

[gwrachod]

We're 4 people in a 3 bed - my DC's dad and I live as if a couple still, even though we haven't shared a bed for years, and never will again.

Eventually, we'll either split or move to a bigger house, but neither are on the cards just now, so I need to work out a semi-permanent solution.

The DC are 10 and 15.

I was on the sofa in the living room for the first few years, then we swapped last summer. DP is on the sofa, but it just isn't working having the living room doubling up as his bedroom, I knew it wouldn't (which is why I chose the sofa originally). So, I need to work out how else to do it.

There is one v. large bedroom. DS (15) is in it and I'd like to keep him there, as he's getting bigger and needs space for his hobbies and studying for his GCSEs.

Then there's also a double bedroom, a single bedroom and the dining room, the same size as the double.

I'm thinking DD in the double, so she has space to play and have mates round, "DP" in the single and me in the dining room.

But I'm not keen on losing the dining room completely.

Am I mad to think I could keep it as a dual function room? I've been looking at daybeds and thinking of having it as a dual function room. Is this a crazy idea?

If I do that there's no space for a wardrobe, I'd maybe have to get a large wardrobe for DD's room and share it, or convert the hall cupboard into my wardrobe.

Or, should I just accept we lose the dining room, and always eat in the front room?

What would you do?

Deff have the dining room as your bedroom op.you need it.ypu deserve it.all your moods will be altered for the better if u have your own space.and especially for sleep. I'd dine in the lounge if you only do it a few times a week.with a fold away table or o e of those fold away coffee tables.
So that you CANthen have the dining room as your own little zen space.candles.books.nice light. Your situation can't be ideal. Your own space is so important.and not to keep putting away everyday.you should be able to fall into bed.
And it's so easy to change it to sell.

A decent thick mattress topper I think is key.
my cousin had the dining room. Because they bed was more permanently out she even bought a cheapish mattress to put on top which basically made it a bed but it could be changed back if it came to it. But the comfort was a huge difference.
I think what your doing for your children is amazing.its showing them such bravery, love,support.
They don't need to be spoilt. I'd be the most grateful child ever if my parents did this.and it would be something I'd take with me forever.
We had a setup at home which my mum bent for one of us.i can tell you there has ne er been more love and appreciation for what she did to ease,to support,to accommodate. We still thank her now.we still remember.we still hug her for it.

He's a selfish prick. Hope you can split up properly soon. If he had any decency he'd ensure he was first up, washed and dressed and bedding tidied away, so everyone could use the living room. Must make your skin crawl when he goes back to sleep in the bed you've just vacated in what is supposed to now be your bedroom. You've done your 3yrs on the sofa, he should suck it up now.

Looking at that floor plan, I think I'd still turn the place into a kitchen diner. Except it'd be the kitchen/living room getting converted. The current dining room would be turned into the new "living room" (the ex's man cave). The new kitchen diner would have enough space for sideboards etc for storage/ornaments/TV etc to make it feel like a family space, room for a small sofa maybe (my friend has two sofas in her large kitchen diner and it doesn't look weird), and a sufficiently large table that everyone could sit round it to study/watch TV/eat etc. It would work for you all as a family now and would also still be a normal functioning house with appropriate rooms for selling. I think you're underestimating the stress of making do when it comes time to sell and all the rooms get put back how they should be. Give it two weeks and you'll all be snapping at each other and tearing your hair out. It could take many months or even years to sell though.

Re: clothes. Can all of you go minimalist? I have a normal range of clothes including things others would hang up. I hang nothing up, it's all folded in drawers and it's fine. If Ex is in the living room his clothes should be in there too (or the hallway cupboard as you previously mentioned). You all need your own space, including you, without him coming into your bedroom for his clothes (or to sleep in your bed!)

How lovely 🥰

It is so nice to see a comment like this. There always seems to be so much negative advice associated with making sacrifices like this “for the children”.

It doesn’t always have to be a bad thing. Especially if the scenario is just simply the lesser of two evils.

Why would her partner sleeping in her bed make her skin crawl? Most people actually (shock horror) share a bed with their partner and manage to not feel disgusted.

Men tend to be less comfortable sleeping on sofas as they can't fully stretch out, so if the poor guy needs some proper rest why begrudge him the bed for a bit?

Why would her partner sleeping in her bed make her skin crawl? Most people actually (shock horror) share a bed with their partner and manage to not feel disgusted.

You really haven't read the OP's posts have you @RotundBeagle ?

I've just skim read all OP's posts thinking it would become apparent DP is actually a prick and I'd then feel silly. However, I can't see this. OP says they get on as friends, he jumps out of bed on her command, and he always goes along with what she says is for the best.

Kind of seems like he doesn't have much say in his own house and people think he's a 'selfish prick' for not being even more of a doormat.

Murphy bed in DD room for you.
When DS moves out you move in there but leave his bed so he can sleep there when home and you temp on murphy bed.

It is, the drawers are huge too.

My dad sleeps on it when he stays and says he sleeps well, he's late 80s.

Bloody hell I sound like I work for Ikea, I don't.

OP - what did you do in the end?

Let us know. It was an interesting conondrum!

I haven't read through the whole thread so apologies if I am cross-posting with anyone but have dropped on to say that when my friend had a studio flat she had a sofa bed but paid extra to have an interior spring mattress as she was seeping on it every night. Would something like that work for you OP?

Thanks for asking :)

The short answer is... nothing.

The longer answer, is this thread really helped, and I've decided I'm going to pretty much follow the plan I listed above.

I don't have a lot of time or spare cash right now, so I'm going to do it in stages.

DP is taking the DC to visit their cousins for 5 days at Easter, and I've taken some time off to make a start.

I think, realistically, and working on my own, I could probably get DD set up in the double and move DP into the single in that time. There's a lot of stuff in both rooms so it will be a massive decluttering mission too!

Oh, actually, I've already started a bit of decluttering with DD, so it's not entirely true that I've done nothing!

DD watched a couple of episodes of "Sort Your Life Out" on iPlayer with me (major decluttering show, I love it!) and we did a sort out of her teddies after. The show inspired her to finally let go of loads of them, so we could donate them and they can go to a new home. I mean she still has loads of teddies! But only half as many now.

I can post my progress (or lack of! Let's hope not!) on here at Easter if people are interested?

This is the plan I'm going to follow, mostly.

I'm now mulling over whether to go for a queen sized double or a single + trundle for DD.

I had thought single + trundle originally, but at her best mates house the other day, I noticed she's got rid of her bunk beds and has a double now, and I thought that might work. Thinking about it, anyway...

I'll go back on the sofa while I'm sorting my new room / the snug out.

I did have a look at second hand in the end - someone posted that those click clack beds often end up being sold on, and I was curious if that was happening round here - even though I was pretty settled in my mind that I want the IKEA day bed that folds out into a double.

But do you know what I found on FB market place? Not loads of click clacks, but loads of that exact IKEA bed!

I'm not sure what that signifies!

Aw thank you What a lovely post @kateandme!

I'm sorry I missed it first time round.

I think you're right, dining in the lounge makes sense. I hadn't thought of that before this thread.

The last thing on the list is the front room, once I've moved into the dining room, and I'm going to give it a proper sort out and refresh. It needs a good paint, and I'd love to bin this old sofa and get a corner one instead.

That sounds like a great idea. Who did she pay for the spring mattress, did that come from the sofa bed company?

I haven't looked at sofa beds at all, as I've slept on too many uncomfortable ones in my time!

But this sounds interesting.

Oh hang on! I can see I was confused about what Queen sized meant!

I meant a 3/4 sized bed. I'm just looking them up now and I can see queen size is bigger than a standard double (of course, doh!)

Hi OP, if I remember rightly it was Marks & Spencer. It was a few years ago now so I'm not sure if they still offer that option with their sofa beds, if indeed they still do them. I've just had a quick Google for 'sofa beds with sprung mattress' and quite a lot popped up so it would be worth having a look to see if there's something that would suit.

I do remember her saying that it was an initial expensive outlay, but as she said she was sleeping on it every night so wanted it to be as comfortable as a normal bed.

Comfortable sounds great. Expensive not so much! But then again, comfortable...

Will check them out, thanks :)

For us there came an age where it was time for the big beds haha. So all the kids got to excitedly have a double?( if they hadn't already,1did) so your dd.might want this too now.
I'd certainly want a double as soon as at her age.

Too late, I ordered a tonight! Didn't intend to, was probably totally suckered by the marketing

I asked DD what she wants for her new room.

She said she wants a "relaxing area" with all her toys, where she can play board games with her friends, read and rest. She'd like a table for the board games and bean bags. She agrees she needs a bigger wardrobe, and she likes the shelves she already has.

She wants a new bed - and I am all for this as her old one is a mid-sleeper / cabin bed and is a fucking pain in the arse to change!

So, we looked at beds. I didn't mean to actually buy one, but the one we both really liked was on sale - sale ends tonight.

I have no idea if it was actually a real sale that we happened to come across or if we've just been tricked by a marketing ploy! But I tend to over think things, so I'm pleased I've got this ordered.

I'll share a pic, one sec...

We went for a trundle bed to save space, but also have somewhere for friends to stay.

I've got one of these clothes racks. With 3 boxes sat on the shelf. One for pj's, one for socks and one for socks.

Its on wheels so can go infront of the airing cupboard on the landing, and be moved as it is on wheels.
https://www.displaysense.co.uk/clothes-rails-c65/industrial-pipe-garment-rack-p3405

I have a daybed in the kitchen, and a small table. The daybed can be used for 2 people to sit on. And then there's 2 dining chairs, so we can all.fit around the table.

I don't have loads of socks, ones for underwear!

The daybed in the kitchen is a great idea!