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Original poster

Sleeping in the living or dining room - making it work

249 replies

gwrachod · 04/03/2023 23:17

We're 4 people in a 3 bed - my DC's dad and I live as if a couple still, even though we haven't shared a bed for years, and never will again.

Eventually, we'll either split or move to a bigger house, but neither are on the cards just now, so I need to work out a semi-permanent solution.

The DC are 10 and 15.

I was on the sofa in the living room for the first few years, then we swapped last summer. DP is on the sofa, but it just isn't working having the living room doubling up as his bedroom, I knew it wouldn't (which is why I chose the sofa originally). So, I need to work out how else to do it.

There is one v. large bedroom. DS (15) is in it and I'd like to keep him there, as he's getting bigger and needs space for his hobbies and studying for his GCSEs.

Then there's also a double bedroom, a single bedroom and the dining room, the same size as the double.

I'm thinking DD in the double, so she has space to play and have mates round, "DP" in the single and me in the dining room.

But I'm not keen on losing the dining room completely.

Am I mad to think I could keep it as a dual function room? I've been looking at daybeds and thinking of having it as a dual function room. Is this a crazy idea?

If I do that there's no space for a wardrobe, I'd maybe have to get a large wardrobe for DD's room and share it, or convert the hall cupboard into my wardrobe.

Or, should I just accept we lose the dining room, and always eat in the front room?

What would you do?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
21
Thekirit · 05/03/2023 05:41

Apologies I called dcs dad dh. No offence intended.

4plusthehound · 05/03/2023 05:52

If dd has a nice big room put a comfortable single /full sized bed in the there for you?

Impatientwino · 05/03/2023 05:52

Depending on how much space you have in the dining room as it's a bigger piece of furniture but we have an ikea Hemnes day bed - you could pull that out easily and it has 3 big, deep drawers which would store a fair amount of clothes and stuff and would open out to a proper double bed frame.

The matresses for it are pretty thin so if I were sleeping on it every night I'd buy a decent double mattress which I would store in your DPs room during the day. Everyone needs a proper mattress and nights sleep.

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Home improvement
Caspianberg · 05/03/2023 05:53

IKEA hemnes day bed in dining room for you. Just get with a thick single mattress not the two thin ones to allow it to convert to double.
Then you can use as comfy single bed, and it have three big drawers underneath you can fit basic clothes in day to day.

Have a nice bedspread on it so you can cover over and it will look and can be used as extra sofa daytime

You could still fit a smaller or fold out dining table in the room also against opposite wall

Namechangedone · 05/03/2023 06:13

We have a small single day bed in our front room as someone is staying with us at the moment:

www.getlaidbeds.co.uk/wooden-beds/day-beds/modern-ohio-day-bed#product-slider

Loads of cushions on it in the daytime which get taken off each night, it's really comfy apparently and tucks into a corner, we have a large space though so can also have a sofa (rest of the house is tiny!)

Maireas · 05/03/2023 06:18

If your son has a very large room, put a single bed in it for DP. You and your daughter have the other bedrooms.
Study on the dining room table.
Both receptions fully useful for family life.

Original poster
gwrachod · 05/03/2023 06:20

BeesOnLavender · 05/03/2023 02:43

If you're all having plenty of personal space upstairs in your bedrooms, do you need a living room? How about sacrificing that room to DP as a bedroom and then creating a big kitchen diner with a table the whole family can sit round, a TV and plenty of storage?

Sounds like everyone has/has room for TV/games consoles etc upstairs. Get those high up beds with the desk underneath if space is an issue. Your older teen can have a sofa/daybed/sofabed in his large room for friends to hang out/stay over so they're not monopolising the kitchen.

When he goes to university the younger one gets his room and he gets the single room when he comes back in the holidays. By that age he can go out with friends instead of having them over so much. Will stop him getting too settled after university too, if he's in a tiny single room he'll have more incentive to move out, and there'll be no room for him to essentially move a girlfriend in by having her stay over constantly.

When DS moves out, DP can have the single room and you get the living room back for it's proper purpose again. Stops DP getting too settled with the situation if he doesn't have a double sized room.

Sadly the kitchen is galley kitchen, no space for a table / hanging out in it.

So, we do need a living room. My DC would happily spend forever in their rooms doing their own thing, but I do like to see them occasionally!

OP posts:
Original poster
gwrachod · 05/03/2023 06:25

Namechangedone · 05/03/2023 06:13

We have a small single day bed in our front room as someone is staying with us at the moment:

www.getlaidbeds.co.uk/wooden-beds/day-beds/modern-ohio-day-bed#product-slider

Loads of cushions on it in the daytime which get taken off each night, it's really comfy apparently and tucks into a corner, we have a large space though so can also have a sofa (rest of the house is tiny!)

That looks good, thanks.

I love the idea of the ones that fold away, but I wonder if doing that all the time becomes annoying and maybe something like this is a more practical idea?

OP posts:
StrawHatOnTheParcelShelf · 05/03/2023 06:31

You can get coffee tables that pop up into a dining table so you could eat in the living room.

Original poster
gwrachod · 05/03/2023 06:34

MysteryBelle · 05/03/2023 03:09

I’d put 15yr old in double bedroom (maximize the space to fit his hobbies and study area), 10yr old in single bedroom (make it cozy for her and her friends with one of those magical filmy tent things in the corner that hang from the ceiling and drape fairy lights round it), and in very large bedroom put up a wall with door in it to divide it into two bedrooms for you and dc’s dad. I would make his part smaller hee hee, seriously he won’t need as big a space as you and make sure you keep the closet in your part.

Sleeping in the living room or dining room long term is no way to live. I’m surprised you’ve been doing it for years. It also discourages the kids from socializing downstairs with you for family time.

It's OK, it doesn't discourage the DC as when they are awake, it's a functional living room.

OP posts:
Original poster
gwrachod · 05/03/2023 06:35

StrawHatOnTheParcelShelf · 05/03/2023 06:31

You can get coffee tables that pop up into a dining table so you could eat in the living room.

That's interesting, thanks, never heard of that!

Do you know where you can get them from?

OP posts:
TruthRevolution · 05/03/2023 06:39

Would you share with DD?

Original poster
gwrachod · 05/03/2023 06:40

4plusthehound · 05/03/2023 05:52

If dd has a nice big room put a comfortable single /full sized bed in the there for you?

DD would love it if we shared a room! In fact her ideal would be if her and I shared a bed, at the moment I am in a double bed in the double room, with DD seeping next to me as she got up in the night and got in with me!

She does that quite a lot.

But she needs her own room, doesn't she?

I mean, I suppose one temporary solution could be give DD the double and have bunk beds in her room, but I just feel this is unfair on her - isn't it?

OP posts:
Original poster
gwrachod · 05/03/2023 06:40

TruthRevolution · 05/03/2023 06:39

Would you share with DD?

Cross post!

OP posts:
tootiredtospeak · 05/03/2023 06:42

I would go in with the 10yr old DD she would probably love it for say max 2 yrs by 12 she would hate it. You could get one of those bunk beds that's a double on the bottom single on top.

Snugglemonkey · 05/03/2023 06:45

CovertImage · 05/03/2023 00:05

I think that adults subsuming their own needs / requirements for their kids is good for no-one, including the kids

Sadly, sometimes there are competing needs. The adults are responsible for ensuring the needs of the children are met. Sometimes that comes at personal cost, but it has to be the adult that bears the brunt, not the child.

Maireas · 05/03/2023 06:48

No response about putting a single bed in the boy's room for the dad? He's got the largest bedroom. Then you and your daughter can have the other rooms. Your son can study in the dining room and you have family reception rooms back.

Theelephantinthecastle · 05/03/2023 06:49

If DD is happy for you to share with her, that seems the best solution

Given your clothes are all in her room, it's not like it's all her room anyway

It's not ideal but adults sleeping on sofas isn't either

Original poster
gwrachod · 05/03/2023 06:52

Snugglemonkey · 05/03/2023 06:45

Sadly, sometimes there are competing needs. The adults are responsible for ensuring the needs of the children are met. Sometimes that comes at personal cost, but it has to be the adult that bears the brunt, not the child.

Show quote history

My thoughts exactly, thank you.

It would be heartbreaking to see DS have to deal with losing the space to do his hobby and have his friends over, for what? So I can have a wardrobe near my bed?

Whatever solution we come up with, it's only for a few years max - hopefully quicker as I hope we will be in a position to sell and move on after not too long.

the next few years are formative years for DS, and DD, but they're not for me. I can happily compromise so the DC get what they need.

OP posts:
Daffodilsandbeer · 05/03/2023 06:54

Gosh I can’t believe you’re choosing to live like this and your poor daughter, no wonder she’s clingy, she gets the small room, and you keep all your stuff in there, and her big brother gets the master all to himself.

you may as well get a sign saying golden child who we love more and stick it on his door.

change your dining room to a bedroom, have a bedroom each and get your stuff out your daughters room. Stop treating them so inequally. She counts too.

sashh · 05/03/2023 06:54

Have a look on YouTube for 'tiny homes' and 'van living' and 'converting furniture' there are some amazing ideas and

www.dezeen.com/2016/04/05/10-space-saving-furniture-designs-small-homes-micro-apartments/

One (expensive but may be worth it) option would be to have a bed that you press a button and it rises to the ceiling. So you have a dining room and then at night you press the button and your bed lowers down to be over your dining table.

Depending on the size of the room there are other options to have a high bed with storage underneath.

How high are your ceilings? I've seen one fabulous bedroom where the room looks empty with a raised platform but the beds pull out from underneath the platform.

Doingmybest12 · 05/03/2023 06:59

I would move into the bedroom with dd , then monitor how much you are using dining /living room over 6 months or something and this can help you decide if it is worth giving up the dining room if it looks like this will go on for a while. Shame you can't do the sarah beany hot spot monitor thing.

Theelephantinthecastle · 05/03/2023 07:00

Daffodilsandbeer · 05/03/2023 06:54

Gosh I can’t believe you’re choosing to live like this and your poor daughter, no wonder she’s clingy, she gets the small room, and you keep all your stuff in there, and her big brother gets the master all to himself.

you may as well get a sign saying golden child who we love more and stick it on his door.

change your dining room to a bedroom, have a bedroom each and get your stuff out your daughters room. Stop treating them so inequally. She counts too.

I sort of agree.

I also can't imagine being 15 and having the biggest bedroom to myself when no one else in the household properly does, I would feel so uncomfortable, I wouldn't be heartbroken at a rearrangement, I would be kind of relieved

Pointblank2 · 05/03/2023 07:02

What about something like this for your dining table, would give room for a bed
www.wayfair.co.uk/furniture/pdp/17-stories-rowsley-folding-dining-set-with-4-chairs-andm1470.html?piid=