Tiger parenting.. UK parents aren't capable?

[Shepherdspiemix]

I think international parents are much more stringent with their kids academically & musically. Especially Eastern European, Asian, Nigerian & German. This is both for state & private schools. Sport isn't as important to these nationalities. Music & grades are revered. Zero time given to roblox, social media or gaming. In my opinion UK parents are very lax in comparison. I know that won't be a popular opinion but that's my two cents.

Thanks for your opinion.

Here's mine.

Parents in the UK have a wide range of parenting values and experiences, as I imagine 'international parents' do.

Some are responsive to the needs of their children, others impose their own view on what their children should be doing for the purpose of the parent's own validation as a 'good parent'.

Some parents used outdated and abusive techniques on their children including physical violence, emotional manipulation, shaming and mental duress in order to force their children to 'perform' in the way they decide they should. These techniques are becoming less tolerated in UK society as evidence shows they cause long term harm to individuals.

I think you have to look long term. You can force children to be 'good children' but whether that works for them as adults varies.

But isn't that a marvellous thing?!?
Unless I've misread the tone, your implication is negative?

Top grades aren't everything, especially at the expense if a child's wellbeing and mental health.

@Shepherdspiemix

Are you talking about families you know who have immigrated to the UK?

What nationality are you OP?

If that's true, it's a real shame they don't prioritise sport. Sport is so beneficial for children.

Sounds like a lot of stereotyping to me.

I think when people say "international parents" they rarely just mean eg average German parents in Germany but rather people who are living and working outside their country of birth, usually in high-flying international jobs. I know lots of people like this and yes, they do tend to have high academic standards for their children- that's because they're high achievers themselves rather than because they come from Italy or Japan or Australia. The equivalent British parents are just the same.

Roblox or Rubik’s, they’ll all end up lost in the k-hole in uni, OP. Doesn’t matter what parents say or do.

Interesting, my DH has just come back from a work skiing trip in Austria, lots of German and Easy European families, at dinner time, he said nearly all children were stuck in front of a tablet. So I don't think that is an accurate theory you have there.

East not 'Easy'.

Surely good parents should be responsive to their child's individual needs?
That isn't being lax it's allowing children to have a balanced life and to pursue their interests not just those that their parents thinks are important. It is also considering their child's mental health needs and helping them grow into healthy adults who can make their own decisions.
That should apply whatever nationality the family is.

That is your opinion. And perhaps your preference.

However, studies have shown that a more relaxed approach to parenting tends to lead to happier, more creative and less stressed children.

Look at the British contribution to the international music, fashion and other creative sectors. The UK punches way above its weight in terms of market share compared to size of population.

As a British single mum with a ds on an academic (maths) scholarship at an independent school. I am happy with my son's style of education, and would not swap it for the Asian model, even if I could. Ds will do fine.

Each to their own 🙂

The UK produces some of the greatest creative people of the last century. Musicians, scientists, writers, artists, directors, actors, athletes. Where were the Beatles, JKR, David Attenborough and Banksy born? We prioritise culture and pleasure. It’s great.

I find that natural ability is valued above hard work in this country. I see it all the time on here on the grammar school threads where people sneer about those who are tutored to get in.
Saying that, I live in SW London and a lot of parents start tutoring in year 3 for the selective schools here, so education is definitely valued. I have high aspirations for my children, just as my parents had for me and their parents had for them. It was always assumed that I would go to university as pretty much everyone from my grandparents, to parents to aunts, uncles and cousins have.

And I agree with PP, my DB and SIL are high achievers and the corresponding lifestyles although they like their DC to be keen and proficient sports people as well, that is a particular trait of elite British culture I.e play cricket, can ski, play rugby etc.

I came on to say this but not as eloquently. I believe we as Brits produce great creative personalities in the world of literature, art, fashion and screenwriting, comedy... the list goes on. It's possible this is as a result of more "lax" parenting.

We seem to be stuck in the middle with half on mn telling us we’re too lax and the other saying we start school too early and too formal. Be more Asian, Finnish take your pic

Meh. Always a complaint coming from somewhere. I’m happy with the balance

What's the point

I lived in Germany for a long time - I wouldn’t put Germans on the “tiger parenting list”.
I also know several Eastern Europeans who have a more relaxed approach. The people I know might encourage activities outside school - like sports or music - without banning Roblox and such.

Do you not think I've got enough on my plate without being made to feel bad I haven't perfected parenting to your standard

Yes, considering British culture is very self critical I am wondering how many of the countries you mention get in to a head spin about what other countries think of them and whether they are 'good enough'.

I don't mind giving children the best opportunities they can have. This is poles apart from railroading them into activities they don't enjoy just because they will help them in some imagined future career. My untutored and relaxed son did just as well in the end in his A levels as his classmates who were tutored from an early age.

Obviously it's a balance between giving children aspirations and focus, while still allowing them to find their own interests and enthusiasms. But I certainly don't revere grades and music; it's fantastic to have talents and interests, but they don't all have to be worthy and related to attainment. In my experience the most financially successful people are not always the happiest!

Haha, I'm Asian but I think kids start school too early and there's too much pressure on them to perform. :-)

Are you aware of what is going on Nigeria at the moment, OP? Not exactly a role model .

Nothing. Is. More. Important. Than. A. Happy. Child.