If you are in the shoes off brigade

[Halfastoneextra]

If you invite someone to your house, say as an evening guest , here is the scenario:

The guest has made an effort to dress up for the evening, say a nice dress, updo, jewellery etc. She turns up at your house where you ask all guests to take their shoes off. This guest turns to a carrier bag she has on her, and withdraws a pair of very nice shoes that she wishes to wear with her dress. They are not stilettos, so won't damage any wooden floors. She shows you the soles and explains they are specially clean ie have not been worn outside and have been wiped down to make sure they are spotless. She says she wishes to wear them as they are part of her outfit and she does not wish to be discomforted by having to go barefoot.

Would you acquiesce. If not, why not?

Agree this is hilarious, and I’m assuming the cat paw thing is a joke!? I also do not know anyone who makes people take their shoes off, and neither would we, seriously are people licking their floors!? Grown ups are perfectly capable of taking off muddy boots/trainers if needed but anything else is fine and honestly if someone asked me to take my shoes off like a toddler I’d be questioning my choice of friends. Maybe because we all have dogs/cats etc.. the shoes would be a pointless exercise, kids are in and out constantly and tend to kick off shoes in the kitchen as they come and go, but not when they walk in the front door on arrival, as are the animals and adults. No one ever died from dirt, and quick hoover/brush gets up the worst. It’s not a cultural thing in the UK in general, just very very odd to me. I can’t imagine wasting the time or headspace worrying about a shoe, shock horror, having been on a pavement. Apart from anything else how on earth do people build up immune systems living in hermetically sealed homes, slathered in bleach where even the poor cat has his paws wiped!?

We have wooden floors throughout ground floor. I object to stilettos and muddy work boots but aside from that I would never dream of asking someone to remove shoes. Especially if I am entertaining and I will be dressed up as well as my friends. Wear the nice outfit and dress up as often as you can. Life is too short not to make an effort to be glamorous as often as possible.

Was waiting for someone to say its a class thing, always comes up in these threads.
It's not a class thing, it's a cultural thing. Everyone, in every class, in my country takes their shoes off inside houses, even inside schools (I have to take my shoes off when I go to parents evening too, no exception for adults, whatever shoes they're wearing). Many other countries and cultures do the same, and many people from those cultures live in the UK and carry on this cultural practice.

In all the shoes-on, shoes-off debate, nobody has yet suggested that some general differences in habit might simply be due to climate. I had a visitor who hails from a country where the weather is generally much hotter and drier than the UK (and where tiled floors are the norm), and she commented about how British people often don't wear outdoor shoes indoors, even though it is commonplace in her country. I pointed out to her that in cool, rainy Britain, you're far more likely to bring in dirt on your feet and leave it on floors that are also more likely to be carpeted and therefore harder to clean. Obviously there are also cultural considerations in some cases, but the main reason we're a "shoes-off" house is purely practical!

Sweet lord this is so funny. having a party in my house next week approx 50 people coming. no way will I ask them to take their shoes off. and I would be a bit pissed off going to someone's house for a part and asked to take shoes off. if your worried about dirt or damage to your floors etc. don't invite people over.

Oh I dated a a guy who’s mother was shoes off!! Sadly for me I had to work with her, didn’t know this about her, went to her house, asked me to remove my shoes so there I am bare footed no socks on. Awful!!!!

Maybe a class thing?

Bingo!

I found it so weird when I first came across a thread on this debate as I’d been brought up to always take shoes off in someone’s house, and that not to bother was super rude. I’d never realised some people don’t think it’s rude! I still do take my shoes off and take slippers round if I’m visiting family, it’s just ingrained now! I guess the party shoes are like a fancy version of slippers so fine by me.

I would never ask a guest to take their shoes off in my house. Scary how germaphobic people are.

I can bet you Akshata Murty isn't wearing her 600 quid suede slippers in 10 Downing:)

Wait till you all hear about the not stepping on books or touching people with your feet taboo.

I take a comfortable pair of very. light slippers. I don't like cold floors either!

I would be more worried about my minging floor ruining her clean shoes. 😂

I actually don't know anyone prissy enough to insist on wearing special shoes to "complete an outfit" when visiting my house! Is it a significant event in your house? A big important party?? Will everyone else take their shoes off and she'll be the only one wearing her fancy shoes?

The people who visit me are more likely to bring pyjamas and slippers, not fancy dress shoes.

However, yes, as a 'outdoor shoes off' house I'd be ok with her wearing new/clean shoes in my house, I just can't imagine why they need to

I struggle with the fuss over carpets and shoes off.

We are a shoes in house and we have suffered over the obsession a family member had over her carpets.
I don't really want to be exposed to that ever again.

I think it's dreadful.

But why would it matter if they’ve ever been worn outside so long as they are, as stated - non scratching flats and have been thoroughly cleaned? Why?

Asking people to take shoes off is only acceptable if it’s a child covered in mud or an adult with muddy boots. The adult would know to remove their muddy boots. Someone coming to an evening get together who isn’t wearing muddy shoes or boots should be allowed to wear their shoes. My sister in law insists on people taking off their clean shoes in her rather dirty house and to be honest I’d rather protect my feet. These people have notions of grandeur in their little precious houses and it makes them feel somehow superior. Weirdos. Thankfully I don’t have friendships with shoes off brigade.

Every day is a school day on mumsnet - some people actually wipe their cats paws when the come in through the cat flap?! Are you constantly standing by the catflap with a cloth waiting for them to make an appearance?

My cat would have your face off if you attempted to wipe her paws. She is always immaculate though, with persil-white socks even when it’s raining and she’s been outside to powder her nose in the muddy flowerbed. I don’t know how she does it. Fastidious animals, cats.

Op I’d be fine with you wearing your party shoes and I’d be touched that you’d gone to those lengths. I would probably admire your level of grooming too. I always take off shoes inside, but I don’t expect guests to. They generally do though, without being asked. Asking would be rude.

I grew up in a shoes on household, but somewhere along the way I turned into a shoes off person. I don’t even know when that happened. Actually, I don’t know any shoes on households any more so I suppose I subconsciously adopted the behaviour of people around me. It’s not a big deal though; I’m pretty laid back about stuff like this.

We are not a “strict” shoes off house, me and DH do take our shoes off, he wears sliders and I am partial to a fluffy sock. When we have guests we never ask them to take shoes off, but we have ivory carpets / rugs so most do anyway. As PPs said, I’d never want a guest to be uncomfortable and looking at potentially scruffy socks would give me the ick.

our closest friends who visit the most do have their own sliders that they keep in the shoe cabinet 🤣.

Yeah that's absolutely fine. It's just about dirt anyway so I'd say go ahead and be appreciative they'd put so much thought into it. They sound like a keeper tbh like who considers someone's house rules and feelings that much, thats really nice!

If they were clean (because that's my issue) then sure, come on in. But also what weirdo brings indoor shoes to relax at a friend's home. I say this as someone who is permanently in heels (unless inside a house)

We’re a shoes off household, as long as the shoes had never been worn outdoors and they didn’t put them on the sofa it would be okay.

My house is shoes off but I let guests keep their shoes on.

In fact I think bare feet from guests is a bit ick, and I don't know if they have a verruca or stinky feet.

I don't understand the comments about people being comfortable with shoes on. My feet are far more comfortable with shoes off.

I rent my flat and it has cream carpets, so it's shoes off no matter what I'm afraid. I don't want to be charged for damages.