Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Do children belong in a "fancy" restaurant?

333 replies

Puttingchildrenfirst · 24/02/2023 10:30

Hello All!

I'm looking for people's thoughts on children in high end restaurants.

For context we were invited to a very high end restaurant this weekend (think £150 a head set tasting menu fine dining place) to celebrate a family members birthday (less than a weeks notice).

We have a toddler and a new baby so I declined as soon as I looked the restaurant up as I knew we couldn't organise childcare and husband was on call that night (needs to be near home).

Family wanted me to still come and bring the children but I declined as I really couldn't imagine wrangling a hungry toddler (no children's menu) and trying to latch a baby on while the couple on the next table celebrate their wedding anniversary!

I'll be honest I was also thinking of a popular thread on AIBU here recently where people were commenting on the behaviour of young children in a cafe at an aquarium. The consensus there was children shouldn't be in any sort of fancier restaurants!

However family think we're being overly precious to not bring the kids (and therefore not attend) and another thread yesterday had posters recommending a mum took her 8 month old to a 3 Michelin star restaurant.

If you were sat next to 2 kids under 3 at a very expensive restaurant... what would you be thinking?

OP posts:
KatherineJaneway · 26/02/2023 08:08

No, they don't

bloodyplanes · 26/02/2023 08:08

I know its not the same but my heart sinks when i go in my local pub of an evening and its full of kids running riot! Children have to leave by 9pm but i think thats to late and you cant relax and enjoy a drink until they have been taken home. Don't get me wrong it's generally the parents faults not the kids that im irritated because they are sitting there drinking and chatting away while all but ignoring their clearly extremely bored children who then take to running around or being extremely noisy! I most certainly wouldn't take small children to a high end restaurant, it's unfair on the kids, the other diners and also the parent left trying to appease their boredom and control their behaviour! There is absolutely nothing wrong with having child free spaces!

glittereyelash · 26/02/2023 08:09

Just no. There's plenty of family style restaurants that cater for small kids. If there's no kids menu and it's all expensive food it's for adults!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
HangingOver · 26/02/2023 08:09

If you are certain that they can sit in their seats for the entire duration and talk at a low volume then go for it (tricky at this age)

I've never met a three year old that could talk at low volume for longer than two sentences 😂 It's not just volume either, they do other things like saying the same words over and over and over at that age, which can grate on people's nerves.

ichundich · 26/02/2023 08:10

Puttingchildrenfirst · 24/02/2023 10:30

Hello All!

I'm looking for people's thoughts on children in high end restaurants.

For context we were invited to a very high end restaurant this weekend (think £150 a head set tasting menu fine dining place) to celebrate a family members birthday (less than a weeks notice).

We have a toddler and a new baby so I declined as soon as I looked the restaurant up as I knew we couldn't organise childcare and husband was on call that night (needs to be near home).

Family wanted me to still come and bring the children but I declined as I really couldn't imagine wrangling a hungry toddler (no children's menu) and trying to latch a baby on while the couple on the next table celebrate their wedding anniversary!

I'll be honest I was also thinking of a popular thread on AIBU here recently where people were commenting on the behaviour of young children in a cafe at an aquarium. The consensus there was children shouldn't be in any sort of fancier restaurants!

However family think we're being overly precious to not bring the kids (and therefore not attend) and another thread yesterday had posters recommending a mum took her 8 month old to a 3 Michelin star restaurant.

If you were sat next to 2 kids under 3 at a very expensive restaurant... what would you be thinking?

I think your family are inconsiderate suggesting this place given your situation. It wouldn't annoy me to see kids at high end restaurants though.

Basecampzero · 26/02/2023 08:11

Scrumbler · 26/02/2023 07:41

It's so strange to me that people get annoyed my children at fancy restaurants. A crying newborn or loud toddler aren't going to ruin anyone's night. Now if you let your kids run riot then that's going to annoy anyone in any situation, not just fancy restaurants. But children are part of the family, of course they should be a part of these things.
I don't understand why people believe that family restaurants are only the cheap ones and anywhere expensive should be adults only. I can't imagine refusing to go to a nice restaurant just because I have kids. If I'm going to a nice place, my kids are coming with me. It's weird that so many people in the UK will treat kids as if they're an inconvenience and a hassle to other people.

Speak for yourself.

RoseFl0wers · 26/02/2023 08:12

RedToothBrush · 24/02/2023 10:48

This.

Child menus should be scrapped and restaurants should have 'lighter bites' options available instead for both adults and children.

Show quote history

I would say under 8s need the children’s menu (smaller portion but preferably similar to the adult food and not just chicken nuggets). 8-10 year olds will want more food. 11+ will want an adult’s meal. An adult can just get some starters if they don’t want a proper main meal.

To answer OP’s question, I think only dc aged 10+ should be allowed in. It’s annoying when you hear a screaming toddler or a child watching something loudly on an iPad whilst you’re trying to enjoy a meal in a restaurant.

H007 · 26/02/2023 08:15

Depends on the behaviour of the children. Mine are a little older 11 and 6 so they would know how to behave in that particular setting. I remember taking my oldest at 3 years old once to a posh restaurant she was really well behaved and you wouldn’t have known she was there if you were sat on a different table, my youngest however was not of the same character and that age and there is no way in hell I would have done the same with her 😆

Ricco12 · 26/02/2023 08:15

From ages 18 months to the start of school we only took our kids to Pizza Hut and places like that

We would of found it stressful and unfair to disturb other diners

Even when I kids were being well behaved they could be noisy so it just wasn't something we would do.

They are 6/8 now and we book early (5pm) if in a nicer restaurant as we still feel later bookings are more for adults only.

Benjispruce4 · 26/02/2023 08:16

How would that be enjoyable for you op? I don’t mind well behaved children in any restaurant but I wouldn’t have take a toddler and baby on my own. My DP had an anniversary meal at a nice restaurant. I took our then 4 year old DD who was very well behaved and DH stayed at home with 4 month old.

StepAwayFromGoogling · 26/02/2023 08:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

StepAwayFromGoogling · 26/02/2023 08:18

Pipsquiggle · 26/02/2023 08:01

Most restaurants are fine for DC. I have absolutely no issue with DC being there.

£200 per head, 3* Michelin restaurant, generally not geared up for DC in terms of menu or facilities. Also I do like having a DC free evening once in a while so appreciate adult only restaurants

Show quote history

Then go to adult-only restaurants?!

WalkAwaySugarbear · 26/02/2023 08:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Why should I Fuck Off? Can't you control your children?

Advicerequest · 26/02/2023 08:20

I would have done the same. That was very considerate.
also most restaurants like this will have a no under ten policy.
that's why there's no kids menu. They don't want kids.
there was a bloke with a screaming toddler in my lunch place the other day and he just didn't bother to move his child. Just let it scream so it jangled through my head. In the same circumstances I would definitely have left
i bright my children quite nice places places when they were 5-10 as I had trained them to draw and read through a meal! If there had been a tiniest peep I would have left.
very high end is extremely annoying. Could with toddler walked into a Michelin star esraurant I'd booked three E months in advance with my mum and it was stressful expedition waiting for the screaming to start
i figure if I can not bring my two kids - and I'm a single parent in need of a night out - then others can pay the same courtesy.

Chippy1234 · 26/02/2023 08:23

Over the years I have been to Gordon Ramsey’s Chelsea and the Fat Duck. It’s a huge treat for us. Think leaving a company after 30 years, 25 year wedding anniversary etc.It’s. It a normal evening out for us but the Fat Duck has got ridiculously expensive so I am giving it miss FOREVER!

Both IMHO are definitely not suitable to kids under 12. No kids menu’s, high chairs etc.

In the Fat Duck there were a family with two kids under probably 8. They were bored silly. You are in there 4 hours. It’s a theatre presentation of food. The kids pay the same as grown ups. There was lots of whispering from the parents to try and keep the kids going but it was wasted on them.

In Gordon Ramsey’s a group of 6 brought a toddler. Child had to be passed around the adults and this was at 2000 at night. Just why do people do this? At one point one of the adult’s was about to put the child down so that they could wander around for a bit. After all the other diners would think it adorable wouldn’t they… the daggers the people at the next table gave this family ensured that adult rapidly changed their mind. Maybe it’s a cultural thing?

Moveoverdarlin · 26/02/2023 08:23

I wouldn’t. Even they don’t annoy other diners, you can never relax. Whenever we go out for food, mine is freezing my the time I’ve taken one DC to the loo, encouraged other DC to eat their dinner by doing airplanes with the spoon. It’s a waste, although I’d take it as a compliment that they are soon keen to have you there.

PinkPantherPaws · 26/02/2023 08:26

The only 'fancy' restaurants we've been to have had no under 12's policy or similar.

Tbh I wouldn't pay a few hundred quid for a meal if there was a change of people rocking up with kids!

AmIThatMam · 26/02/2023 08:27

For me it’s less about what other people think and more about my children. Your toddler will not behave well. Not because they are bad but because they are being dragged to an adult event- there is nothing there for them. They will have to sit still and that’s not fair on a toddler. The expectations for the behaviour don’t match their development stage. With a baby as well you will be unable to placate them. It’s a massive no from me.

WorkingFromHomeRocks · 26/02/2023 08:28

I’d be annoyed as you’re paying for the experience, not just the food. These days, kids are treated like mini-adults by their parents and pandered to far to much. It’s actually really annoying. I remember when I was a kid in the 90s and we’d go over to our mum’s friends house for the evening, all the kids would have to go in one room and play whilst the adults did their thing in another room. These days, kids are far more involved and it means that adults never seem to get time alone until their kids are in their teens/grown up.

Pipsquiggle · 26/02/2023 08:29

StepAwayFromGoogling · 26/02/2023 08:18

Then go to adult-only restaurants?!

Show quote history

@StepAwayFromGoogling

I do thanks.

I was answering your question - for most UK restaurants, most British people have no issue with DC being there.

WillowBeeT · 26/02/2023 08:30

ComtesseDeSpair · 24/02/2023 10:34

Would it be acceptable for me and my friends to get drunk and then come and boisterously play on the equipment in a children’s playground at 2pm on a Sunday afternoon, ruining it for the children the playground was designed for?

Most people would say not. Likewise, I’d say it’s not appropriate for people to bring noisy, fractious and energetic small children to an expensive restaurant to ruin the experience of the diners it exists for.

Yes.

If you’re the sorts of parents that can’t raise civilised children, don’t introduce them to civilised places.

We took our DD to restaurants from birth, and we’ve never had an issue with her being boisterous or noisy or wanting to leave the table (other than to be taken to the toilet.) We aren’t one of these incapable families who have to plant iPads in front of their children, as you see in so many big name ‘family’ restaurants.

So, I’d say you need to be courteous to the diners and the establishment and if it doesn’t match with the way you raise your kids, give it a miss.

MarvellousMonsters · 26/02/2023 08:33

If your husband was going to be with you I'd say yes, but if you have to go without him because of his work commitments, unless your family are going to pitch in and help with toddler wrangling and holding the baby, I think you're absolutely right to decline. You're unlikely to have a nice evening unless the others pitch in and help you with your children, so if you don't think this will happen, just stay at home.

Toddlers need to eat and go home, (unless there's a play area with other kids) and preferably before 6pm, I only took mine to cheap & cheerful pub type places or carvery restaurants at that age.

BigFeelingsMoment · 26/02/2023 08:35

Babe in arms - maybe yes, if you want to and you are happy to whisk outside if needed and feed in public etc.

Kids? Maybe depending on the temperament etc? I went to a Michelin star restaurant at 10 and had an amazing time. Lots of practice in France, where i was expected to behave.

Toddler - no, because no-one especially me would enjoy it.

ThatFlightyTemptressAdventure · 26/02/2023 08:35

My PIL used to run a “fancy” restaurant and they ended up saying no children under 12, not because they had a problem with it, but because other diners were very vocal in their desire for a child free evening.

Wanderingowl · 26/02/2023 08:37

qpmz · 24/02/2023 10:46

You can't guarantee a newborn won't cry! so I don't believe you when you say they're fine to take!

Show quote history

With some babies you can. My DS almost never cried as a baby. He cried about twice a week and only if he got unhappy in the car seat and I couldn't pick him up or when he had a vaccine. And it was literally just for a few seconds after the latter. Oh and when he was 6 months my dad got a haircut and that freaked him out and made him cry. Up to 8-9 months I could have taken him absolutely anywhere without an issue. It was only when he started wanting to walk and was no longer happy to just stay in my arms that I stoped taking him to cafes/restaurants.

We avoided them for a year, unless they specifically had a little play area. After that, he was old enough to eat without making a mess, stay sitting unless he needed the toilet and not make excessive noise. I'd never have taken him to a fancy restaurant, or to a restaurant at night. But I could have if for some reason I wanted to. He was easy to teach how to behave well. He literally had one 'tantrum' as a toddler, then fell asleep and woke up with a fever. Some kids are just very easy.