Is this fair? Inheritance related.

[WhereTheresAWillTheresAWant]

There are three adult siblings in DH family. DH is the eldest and is from his DF first marriage. Sadly, DH’s DM died when he was a baby. His DF married again when DH was very young and went on to have a further two boys with his new wife.

The new wife raised DH along with her two biological children and they still have a good relationship today. DH’s DF passed away six years ago and all of his assets went to his wife. However, his DF had a joint Will with his wife and all three children were included in the will with all to be shared fairly once the parents had passed.

At a visit with MIL (DH’s step mum) over the weekend, she talked about her plans to pay off her mortgage in a few weeks and how she was relieved to know the two boys would never have to worry about housing in the current climate. (DH’s adult brothers are still both living at home whilst studying). It transpires her plans are to leave the only asset to DH’s two brothers; this would mean she would need to have the current will amended to exclude DH.

DH didn’t say anything but it has blindsided him and he’s feeling very hurt; his step mum has raised him since he was small.

It does seem rather unfair but after all, it’s his DSM’s asset to do as she wishes. Would you be hurt by this? DH is not going to raise it and will carry on as normal but he is understandably taken aback about this.

I have said this before on here. I wish MN would do a web chat and a campaign about estate planning. Over and over again on here I am appalled by the level of ignorance and the sad stories around wills, divorce and second marriages. It isn't about greed, it is about first families being left destitute, precious heirlooms and personal items being lost or destroyed. Having experienced this myself I know how hard the loss of the small things, pictures, photographs, letters, thrown away or destroyed by people who don't care, feels.
Making a will is only half the process.
Sort out your estate, your life insurance, your funeral plan,. make sure your kids don't have to take out a loan to pay IHT. Set up the trusts, the POAs, guardians for your children. Do the thing properly.

My late OH and I had mirror wills and we were tenants in common, when he died 50% of the house went into a trust for our 2 daughters, the remainder of assets he owned in his own name came to me. I would be free to rewrite my will but I could not break the Trust for 50% of the house. It may be worth looking at how the house was owned, if it went into a Trust she cannot will more than 50% to anyone.

I'm a bit confused. What exactly did your DH's Father's will say? If it actually stated that ALL the Assets were to go to DH's stepmother BUT when she passed all HIS assets were to be divided 3 ways then his Will takes precedence over her will I would have thought. She would still be able to rewrite her will for the assets that were actually hers when FIL died.

I would see a solicitor about this if FIL's Will DID actually specify what was to happen to HIS assets.

I hope your OH charges her top rates for executing the will!

Is it possible that MIL wants to change the will to reflect that he husband has now died, so the situation has changed since they made mirror wills? She may want to create a trust so that, although the estate is still shared the ways, the two sons living in the house can stay there if they want (so DH would still own a third, but couldn't force a sale).

Personally, that would be me out. It was DHs father's wish, and its disgusting to do this. NC would be my response.

Yes. This is why you must create a trust if you are tenants in common.

I would ask if I was your DH , because tbh if it is what he thinks then the relationship will never be the same again , so he has nothing to lose . I think it’s very sad if she is going against his fathers wishes . And if she is writing him out then I personally would not be an executor . What a cheek .

She also mentioned she was going to a solicitor next week to have the Will amended to ensure the boys won’t have to worry about housing in the current climate. Considering DH would only inherit if the asset was sold, it is safe to say, she is likely taking away DH’s share to prevent the asset being sold and thus ensuring a home for life for the siblings.

But two siblings are unlikely to live there together for life. It would make sense if it couldn't be sold until they reached a certain age etc and then was split between the 3 of them, but if it's left to 2 siblings then it will still be sold at some point or else one sibling will surely have to buy the other out to remain living there.

Your DH has been let down badly here by both his MIL, but worse by his own DF who didn't do enough to absolutely ensue all three boys would inherit equally.
I would feel very disappointed in them both, but mostly in him, his own parent. And if his step brothers didn't split the inheritance with your DH on MIL passing, that would say a lot about them too.
Very unlikely for good relations to be maintained here long term, whichever way you look at it.

Morally it's appalling. Legally, she's in the clear.

It's known as the Sideways Disinheritance Trap.

For anyone reading this, who has children from one relationship, and is now in a new relationship, the way to avoid this situation is to leave your DP a lifetime interest in the house - they can live there until they die, but at that point the house goes to your children and not stepchildren or a future spouse of theirs
legacy-matters.co.uk/the-sideways-disinheritance-trap-and-how-to-avoid-it/

Whatever your circumstances your OH should not be expected to pay for his half-siblings by losing his share of their father's money.

She has shown her true colours. Sadly situations like this are all too common.

No such thing as a joint will. When you leave money to your spouse they can do what they want with it.

Power of attorney does not give you the right to change a will.

If the person has capacity it's up to them how they bequeath their estate. If not, you are stuck with the will they wrote before, or intestacy.

If the sib with poa "writes" a new will it would be invalid. Make sure you keep a copy of the previous one (preferably a signed original).

If a will states that all someones assets go to their wife then after that will is executed, the deceased no longer has any assets, they all now belong to the wife, they're now her assets and she can do as she pleases with them.

Yes I agree with you - if that is the case. But I was making the point that IF the FIL's Will actually says that the wife got the life interest in, say the House, but it was to be split 3 ways after she died, then that would mean the Wife couldn't just change that position in her will. It depends exactly on what the original Will said and that is NOT clear from the things the OP has said

Of course this is unfair. He should ask his MIL for clarity

Ah, then thats not passing all his assets to her is it, thats just her having the right to live in the house for her lifetime. I think the OP would have made that clear and I think we can assume that as both parties made mirror wills, they've done this instead of taking the life interest option.

Executors aren't paid, AFAIK, unless you have a law firm act as executor.

If it's true, he should have nothing to do with her ever again.

Are you being deliberately obtuse? 🙄OP has NOT made it clear from the things she has said IMO. Plenty of people on here talking about mirror wills but OP has not said so. She talked about a 'joint will' - no such thing!' I was asking for the OP to clarify exactly what the position is.

Well it’s really common happened to me. Bitch of a stepmother left the house to her children despite the fact that it was bought by my dad.
Unfortunately I didn’t know until after the event so nothing I could do.

I’m late to the thread so I’m sure it’s already been pointed out that your MIL can sadly do this. A decent solicitor will advise against it though as there has been a shift in Courts expecting things to be divvied up more fairly in recent times. I would advise your dh speak to a solicitor himself (just for advice in the first instance) so he can understand his position before speaking (gently) with mil. How horrid for him 💐

If the concern is that he would force a sale before they were ready to move out, then perhaps some arrangement could be made that would prevent that. If there are substantial cash assets as well, perhaps he could have those and they have the house, if that works on the balance of things. Or could the siblings buy him out once they start working and could get a mortgage for his share?