What is something someone has said that is etched in your brain?

[WhiteNoiseMoreToys]

Mine is when I was 17, pretty self conscious and just finished being intimate with my then boyfriend.

We decided to get up and go out and as I sat up to put my top on he poked my belly and said “Christ, you could feed Africa with that tyre” it baffles me now, how brazen it was to just come out with it. But I was a size 8-10 and honestly I think I’m still confused 😂

Its one of those things that ‘pop’ into my mind at random times ans it’s gout me wondering what others peoples ‘moments’ are when they remember something someone has said that might not have significance, but will always be remembered.

A boy I used to have a huge crush on at school once shouted at me "You're so fat, even WeightWatchers wouldn't take you!" as we were walking home.

I cried my eyes out several times at that comment.

Imagine my joy when 30 years later, he sent me a friend request on FB and is now bald and roughly the size of a house 🤫

Working in a shop on Oxford Street.
There was a queue. I apologised.
"Sorry about the wait"
"I'm sorry about your hair!"

It's stuck with me for years..
I didn't have mad hair or anything strange.
She was so forceful about it. So odd.

"You're not wanted, we wanted a boy" said by my mum throughout childhood.

"Your dad tried to swap you - the mum in the next bed in hospital had a boy and wanted a girl". Mum again. Luckily for the baby boy the mum refused.

"You look like a carthorse next to your friend". I was 16, weighed 6 stone and my friend was 2 years younger. It probably wasn't much of a surprise that my new target weight became 4 stone although I didn't get all the way there!

"You're a hateful bitch, and God will never forgive you" said to me by my ex fiancé in 1975 when I was 19.

Bastard's a vicar! Also a typical narcissist (from Stockport)

Got 99% in a test at school. Was ecstatic. Dad turned and said what about the 1%? Not well done or so happy for you, just a serious face and ignored me again. I thought just be happy for once you prick.

A couple of months after splitting up with my first husband while trying to sort thru a difficult divorce and arrangements for seeing our children without being near me(he was physically abusive to me) so when I suggested he could have our children overnight after he was more consistent with seeing them, told me "nobody will ever want you, I ain't babysitting them so you can be a nightclub table shagging whore"- he was the one who lied about working and went out cheating.
25 years later even though I've been in a very happy 2nd marriage for 19 years (and no he never had our kids for more than a few hours) those words still hit when I'm feeling low

I vividly remember a police officer who was taking a cycling proficiency class for us in year 6 at school asking my name and, before I could answer, a boy saying “we call her frog face” and I died a little inside. As a group of the boys used to call me that often as they said I looked like a frog, but I was so embarrassed that the police man - who was lovely and I respected - had to hear it. He looked mortified and didn’t know what to say. I’ve never forgotten it and how humiliated I felt. The very same boy tried to match with me on a dating site when we were adults and I blocked him instantly

‘ you have the right to be safe in your own home, no matter who the perpetrator is’

this was said to me by the organiser of a support group for those who were suffering domestic abuse by their own children.

At the time I was going through hell with my eldest child who was really struggling with adhd/asd and was violent towards me, my partner at the time and his younger sisters.

I stopped making excuses, I phoned the police every time we were attacked and engaged with every organisation that we were referred too including social services.

it was a long slow process but ten years later things are much much better and we now have a good relationship. We talk a lot too.

I’ve never forgotten those words and it was a turning point for our family

When I was about 12 and very self conscious, I asked my beloved father if I was pretty. After some reflection he said ‘ No, but you have an interesting face’.

Lots of things my mum has said to me ( but I now know I was the scapegoat child)

But I've had the comment "talk about the ugly duckling that turn into the Swan" said to me three times

A manager in a former workplace, tut-tutting over my ‘swollen ankles’ and wondering if I had any health conditions. She was also micromanaging and more than a bit creepy. I tried not to be alone in a room with her after that.

I have always disliked the size and shape of my legs: too thick, too short, too pigeon-toed. I know nothing comes of dwelling on it and if they still work when I’m 85 then I guess I’ll forgive them 😂.

Another former colleague (last century) telling me I ‘made a very good door’ when she wanted me to move aside. I was very young and naive and hadn’t heard the saying, and she got mighty offended and called me stupid when I didn’t know what she meant.

People don't remember what you say, but they do remember how you make them feel.

And just to clarify, that's something that was said to me that is etched in my brain which often comes to mind when people say horrid things.

This is so true.

"Well it's not like you were ever going to be a mother anyway" - from my DM when I told her of my suspected miscarriage.

Measure twice, cut once. Not just applicable to DIY but more of a general make sure you've evaluated the situation before you jump in. My Grandad used to say it to me

Isn't it amazing how we can hold onto all the negative unkind stuff, and the backhanded compliments? There are quite a few that I could post but this one from a man I was involved with many years ago leapt into my head. He said to me, "you'd be absolute perfection if it wasn't for your legs"

'you're frigid'

'fat fucking bully cunt'

He used to say so much in arguments about me that he apparently didn't mean.

I don't remember it all but I remember how I felt

'why don't you make more effort with you appearance ' lots of comments like that from mum.
'you always ruin everything'

The first time I visited a new boyfriend he asked me to sing a specific Scottish song to him and his children. When I finished he said, "You're not a singer, are you?" That was fully 20 years ago and I still won't sing when I think I might be overheard, having never given it a thought until then.

As a shy 15 year old? At a party where there were boys from other schools.
One of them said to me "I don't know your name but you're really ugly"

I've felt ugly ever since. I've often thought about tracking him down

My DM wrote me a letter telling me to go on a diet because I was obese not long after having my second DC.

I haven't forgiven her for this or other similar comments. Our relationship is very forced now.

I've had an issue with food ever since when before I'd never thought about it.

My GP.
I had been on anti coagulants for 6 months after a DVT following the birth of a baby. I was in hospital for nearly a month and it left me with physical and mental scars. I was told losing my leg was likely to happen at one point. Terrified doesn’t come near describing how I felt.
He asked me how I felt about coming off anti coagulants. I said I was relieved to be finally being free of going to the anti coag clinic for blood tests, and loving life with my baby now and relieved to put it all in the past. I told him that the further away in time it is the happier I feel.
He said, that is not not how it works.
”The further away in time it gets - the nearer you are to the next DVT”.
Bastard, he said it in such a sinister way.
That was 20 years ago and I still can’t get his words out of my head.

Next time must be imminent 🙁

Its alright for you your cancer was cut out but his cant be...

I had a mastectomy after aggressive cancer.

'You can always come and live with me'.

My Gran.

I did. More than once.

This made me cry… in the best way.

I know the feeling of being able to breathe properly again, it is very special to have found that space.

You're not the girl you think you are. by an Ex-boyfriend 30 years ago. He was right.

You don't have to go to every fight you're invited to. by an amazing feminist woman 25 years ago. She was right.😁