What is something someone has said that is etched in your brain?

[WhiteNoiseMoreToys]

Mine is when I was 17, pretty self conscious and just finished being intimate with my then boyfriend.

We decided to get up and go out and as I sat up to put my top on he poked my belly and said “Christ, you could feed Africa with that tyre” it baffles me now, how brazen it was to just come out with it. But I was a size 8-10 and honestly I think I’m still confused 😂

Its one of those things that ‘pop’ into my mind at random times ans it’s gout me wondering what others peoples ‘moments’ are when they remember something someone has said that might not have significance, but will always be remembered.

Some people are radiators and some are hoovers. They'll either radiate warmth and joy into your life or suck it from your life. Never waste time on hoovers.

Most of these are just awful 🙁
Mine is from a lovely colleagues grandma: don’t fret when the winter feels depressing and the days are short, you’ll be walking home in daylight by Valentine’s Day. Every year I think of that. Better days will come 😊

"Well, you're a psychopath arent you?" - my lovely father.

"You don't really have the figure for a bikini though" - my mum

"You surprised me. You turned out to be decent mother after all" - mum again.

Families eh?

My mum thinks I'm a bossy, over confident cow. God I wish I was..............!!

When I was 15 my Dad was at Parents Evening with me. The Physics teacher told my Dad "Your daughter has a snowballs chance in hell of passing her Physics exam". I was so determined to prove him wrong, so I revised constantly and managed to scrape a C grade. On morning of results I opened grades and found I'd passed. I rushed over to Physics teacher in hall grinning and told him I'd got a C grade in Physics. I was expecting him to be really pleased for me. To my amazement he sniffed at me and said "Exams get easier every year" and just walked away. I vividly remember thinking he did not want me to pass. My Dad was over the moon with me though.

"You should have been the one with Downs syndrome" my grandmother.

'What you going to do? Slit your wrists?', Said by my mum during an argument, about 5 years after a failed suicide attempt 😡

My boss said to me that I'm a mentally strong person, and all I have to do is keep going until the right path opens up in front of me.

I've been clinging onto that ever since, and hoping he's right.

“Urgh, your breasts are awful” said by my own dear mother, when I was 13.

Im still so weirdly shamed by this I’ve changed my name just to post this. It’s like I don’t want post anything in future and have people think oh she’s the poster with the awful boobs.

My mum said something similar to me just after I had my daughter. I was still in hospital (& only 19).
She said "don't you know how to hold a baby?"

Well I probably didn't, but it wasn't the most supportive comment.

Told I was “disgusting” when my baby’s nappy leaked some of those crystals that they get when they’re too full (he had just got up and had had it on overnight). From my mother.
Told that my almost 5 year old was a “bastard”. Also my mother.
Told that I was “obese”. My father.

All from my dmum
"Ÿou look nice. That top hides your back fat"
"I always thought I had lines around my mouth from smoking but now you are in your 40s I can see that wasn't the case"
On getting "slimmer of the week" for losing 4 lbs, "Wow you must be really large to be able to do that"

“Well I won’t be able to stay here (in the U.K.) as I’ll never be able to date a white woman again as they’ll remind me of you. So I’ll have to find a Thai one” - my ex. Yeah he was an arsehole.

“If you don’t choose to live with me you will never see me or your brother again “
From my Father with the last round of custody battles that myself and my brother had to endure

20 year old me was trying to write my first ever condolence letter, a cousin had died suddenly ( turned out medical negligence) just a few years older than me. I didn’t know what to write and DH suggested I tell them how well our child and baby were doing to cheer them up………😔 ( I didn’t, of course , but made me realise what an insensitive prat he was)

A good one: I'm naturally very unco-ordinated and came back from a dance class and whinged to my flatmate about how useless I was in comparison with everyone else, and she really casually said, 'But if you like doing something, it doesn't matter how long it takes you to get good at it.'

It was a lightbulb moment and I often repeat it to myself, decades later, when I am rubbish at something I want to be good at.

"You're cheap and useless anyway" - I had rejected an online contact, who wanted sex.

It was many years ago. I will always remember.

I was in a club having a great time with my pals when some men started laughing at me, asking me, 'Are you a transvestite?' That was over 25 years ago and my self-esteem never fully recovered.

Was walking down the road minding my own business at uni when a class mate walked past (thought he was part of the cool kids group but was honestly the most uncool person you would ever meet - because everyone knows if your social group is your subject pals then your not a cool kid!).

Anyway he just walks past and goes ‘dirty tramp’.

I was like 😲. Never in my life has anyone spoken to me like that with such disdain completely unwarranted.

I just looked at him speechless and carried on my way. It’s stuck with me forever because what kind of person does that!

"You'll never get that job no matter how good you are - they only ever appoint men". My boss said that to me at the time when I was an intern and applying for jobs. Not only did I get said job, but I won an award for being the best in the organisation (and there's only that one in the country). Can't say what industry it is as far too outing but yeah... always makes me angrily motivated to do well.

Secretarial tutor at College of Further Education in the early '80s... "Audio typing is for girls who cannot do anything else."

Odd that I've spent the last 35 years making quite a good living out of transcribing.

My Dad .. seeing me and my best friend aged about 13 ' well Sharon is much prettier than Medusa..'

'She's not bright enough for Oxbridge' (I was , but didn't have the confidence to apply after that)

And to my DD1 when she was 16 and starting A levels ' There's no point you applying to Medical School, you go to a comprehensive and you aren't clever enough'

THAT is when I finally found my balls and told him if he ever spoke to my children like that again he would never see any of them ever again.

DD1 is now a GP ...

What makes you think anyone will look at you? My dad, in response to a comment about me trying to meet someone after a childhood of him trying to convince me I was nothing.

Sexually, comments I cant repeat re what I look like. Despite them always wanting more.

Tbh, men always have the capacity to be sick pigs in their comments, no matter how kind or loving they are in general. Like they cant stand the women in their life being confident, even if thats what attacted them in the first place.

Sad but true.

A bad one: my sister said “I can’t imagine you having children, you wouldn’t be able to cope with it” (based on absolutely nothing at all, but it’s really stuck with me).

A good one: we were talking generally about children one day at work and my male boss randomly said he thought I’d be great with kids/would make a good mum. He had no idea my sister had said what she did.

Oh, and my dad coming down to see me a week after I'd given birth to my son. 'I can't believe how old you look.'