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Original poster

What is something someone has said that is etched in your brain?

707 replies

WhiteNoiseMoreToys · 19/02/2023 21:49

Mine is when I was 17, pretty self conscious and just finished being intimate with my then boyfriend.

We decided to get up and go out and as I sat up to put my top on he poked my belly and said “Christ, you could feed Africa with that tyre” it baffles me now, how brazen it was to just come out with it. But I was a size 8-10 and honestly I think I’m still confused 😂

Its one of those things that ‘pop’ into my mind at random times ans it’s gout me wondering what others peoples ‘moments’ are when they remember something someone has said that might not have significance, but will always be remembered.

OP posts:
1960mrscake · 21/02/2023 18:29

When I was in my first year at secondary school I was leaning against a wall with my hands behind my back. A maths teacher (a woman) poked me in the stomach and asked when I was due!

Boombadaboom · 21/02/2023 18:29

I was suffering with severe depression and my weight had gone up from a UK size 12 to a 14/16). Whilst in the middle of an argument my ex-hisband called me an ugly fat c**t. He had been verbally abusive before but he had never said anything like that to be before and it completely floored me and hurt so much. A few weeks later after 10 years of marriage I asked him to leave and divorced him. 8 years on and I still think about how much it hurt me. On a positive note he remarried and is as miserable as sin whereas I am in a long term relationship and my life is amazing! Karmas a bitch baby!!

Smiffy58 · 21/02/2023 18:30

Too many to recount, but 2 years ago, at my stepson's wedding, my husband's ex said " I really admire that you don't change your accent when you are talking to posh people ". I will continue to exaggerate my regional accent!

COPPER3 · 21/02/2023 18:30

"Christ you're ugly" said to me at a party by a man. I was 22yo and there with my bf.

"Look at the size of your arms!" said to me at another party in my early 20's as he was talking to my bf and I. (I was a size 12).
"What do you expect when you dress like a slut!".. I was 16 yo and was going to a school disco in 1978 when I was attacked by a couple of girls (for talking to their bf). This was my Mother's comment..
Those comments and so many more have caused me to have the lowest self esteem and I barely look in the mirror ever. I hate my face and body..

woollybean · 21/02/2023 18:34

I have a positive one…when our son was around 8 years old we were watching the news and there was a terrible story how a young lad had committed suicide as he had been tricked in to sending some personal pictures to who he thought was his girlfriend and they had threatened to send them to his parents. He was so distraught and didn’t think he could face it. My partner said to my son ‘whatever happens, whatever you do, you can always come to me or your Mum to help you sort it out. We have all done stupid things and more likely than not, we will have done something similar or even worse. There is nothing that can’t be sorted out and we will always stand with you’. I thought that was such an amazing thing for a child to hear especially from someone who isn’t normally very eloquent or expressive!!

venus7 · 21/02/2023 18:36

Iamuhtredsonofuhtred · 19/02/2023 22:39

I have a nice one. A few months after I’d kicked out my addicted and abusive STBXH, my children and I were beginning to come through the fog of the mental head fuck. We had a leak in a pipe, and the plumber who came to fix it was sitting on the sofa with me as he figured out the final invoice. He was really kindly, much older, just a sweet grandad type, and he randomly came out with, “you know, this feels like a really happy home”. I had to stop myself from bawling because that was all I’d ever wanted after the years of grief and stress. I’ll honestly never forget it, it just felt like a turning moment in our house where some of the toxicity had melted away.

Oh.....this is lovely; you must have changed the atmosphere so much.@

nofluffsgiven · 21/02/2023 18:36

I was shopping at a shopping centre, must have been about 5-6 years ago and I was walking out of the toilets. As I walked down this corridor a young lad in his early 20's was coming towards me. As I moved out of the way to let him passed, I gave him eye contact for a second. Then he just randomly said "What the f* are you looking at you ugly mongrel?!" I just pretended not to hear and walked off. I did absolutely nothing to him to provoke that verbal attack and it left me feeling like I must be so unattractive and ugly. I had a cry to myself in the car on the way home. I don't really know why I gave* a s* really but it really bothered me at the time and his words cut deep.

I don't know why it has turned half my text bold because I keep turning it off and it puts it back on for some reason. Sorry if it's annoying

permanentholiday · 21/02/2023 18:38

I’d found a lump in my boob. Had mammogram and ultrasound. Doc (female) doing ultrasound said suddenly ‘Oh there’s another one … now I’m really worried about this!’
Spent 2 weeks from hell waiting for results thinking I was dying. It was cancer but a lot less terrible than she had me believe. Why do doctors say they’re really worried … Jesus how do they think the patient feels!!!
btw now 4 years on and all is well. 🎉

Hazey19 · 21/02/2023 18:41

being called a fat bitch after I just had a baby. By a man.

Hazey19 · 21/02/2023 18:43

woollybean · 21/02/2023 18:34

I have a positive one…when our son was around 8 years old we were watching the news and there was a terrible story how a young lad had committed suicide as he had been tricked in to sending some personal pictures to who he thought was his girlfriend and they had threatened to send them to his parents. He was so distraught and didn’t think he could face it. My partner said to my son ‘whatever happens, whatever you do, you can always come to me or your Mum to help you sort it out. We have all done stupid things and more likely than not, we will have done something similar or even worse. There is nothing that can’t be sorted out and we will always stand with you’. I thought that was such an amazing thing for a child to hear especially from someone who isn’t normally very eloquent or expressive!!

I love this x

Hazey19 · 21/02/2023 18:45

Oh also being called a slut whilst at school. By boys in the school, and by a van full of men on the way home from school, in my school uniform. I had one boyfriend throughout school. And even if I hadn’t i didn’t deserve being called that, especially as a 14/15 year old child. These things really stick with you don’t they x

Evasmissingletter · 21/02/2023 18:47

My mum suffered from Dementia and Alzheimer’s and had got to the stage where she had no short-term memory, and you couldn’t have a rational conversation with her. I was going through a dreadful divorce from controlling husband, which I didn’t share with her. I saw her daily and because she had no reality of the situation, would happily and repeatedly ask how my STBXH was and when she was seeing him again. Even though I was barely holding it all together, rather than upset her and tell her the truth, it was easier to lie and say he was OK.

One day after yet another abusive interaction with him, I broke down in front of my mum and out it all poured. I was expecting her to not remember or process what I had said, but she took my hand and looked me straight in the eyes and said with such clarity
“Never forget you are an amazing strong woman, a wonderful mother, friend, and daughter. Go live your life and don’t look back.” Sounds silly but I think it was the first time she had ever called me a woman, which is the part I really remember and probably the last time she said anything remotely lucid to me.

Utterknowitall · 21/02/2023 18:47

TeenLifeMum · 20/02/2023 01:13

Mine was said by someone when slightly tipsy and I think she meant it as a compliment but that made it worse in my mind. I told her I hoped she knew how pretty she was and she replied “aw thank you… you may not be pretty in a conventional way but you have an elegance about you.”

I’ve never felt pretty - always feel like the ugly one on a night out.

Similar. I've been told I have 'an interesting face.'

toxic44 · 21/02/2023 18:48

Two things really stick.
First, my older brother: You're not very bright, are you? But I could fry an egg on your nose.' I was 11 and fighting puberty.

Second, my mother when I said I wanted to have a job: Who on earth do you think is interested in anything you've got to say? Who'd pay tuppence for anything you can do?
I'd taken my O Levels a year early, aged 15, and got 4 As and 3 Bs.

DonnaB5859 · 21/02/2023 18:49

In Grade 1, the Nun who taught music, asked me to ‘mouth the words but do the actions’

and no, I have never sung in public since.

nofluffsgiven · 21/02/2023 18:51

Oh this is another one, thankfully not about me but I was once at my friends house for dinner when I was about 16. My friends step dad, he was in the army and he was really arrogant and thought he was funny but he was often just a A hole. He'd always be really harsh to my friend about what she wears and unnecessarily strict. Well anyway, we were all sat at the table and her mum was serving dinner and I can't remember what my friend was talking about, something feminism related and he just turned to her and said "The thing is, women like you, your sister and your mother aren't very good looking so you have to make up for it in other ways to keep a man and if you don't put effort in then nobody will want you" none of them even reacted and I was just sat there at the table like... o...k awkward

Pliudev · 21/02/2023 18:52

These are mostly so sad I'm keeping my depressing ones to myself bu thought this might raise a smile:
I was 17, walking down Blackburn Boulevard (it was just the bus station) wearing a bright orange cape and holding my tall, lanky boyfriend's hand, a passerby looked us up and down and said 'Bloody hell, Batman and Robin'. I don't think I wore it again.

Titsalenabumflop · 21/02/2023 18:56

I've been feeling very down and overwhelmed today and these messages have made me bawl my eyes out. Can't believe how vile some people can be for no reason. I've always had low self-esteem and no self-confidence, partly I believe, because my father left home when I was about 7 (and had no contact with us) and left my mum to bring the three of us up alone and it was tough for us all. You must all believe you are worthy of so much more than these disgusting people who insulted you are. It says far more about them than about the innocent people they deliberately and vindictively hurt. XXX

ZsaZsaTheCat · 21/02/2023 18:56

When I worked at Santander bank we were encouraged to make small talk with the customers and ‘build rapport’.
It was close to Christmas and I asked the customer in front of me if he was working over Christmas and he looked me square in the eye and said ‘No only poor people work at Christmas’ . I was so angry I really wanted to trigger the emergency barrier that comes down really quick and scare him. This comment still upsets me.

Italiancitizenship · 21/02/2023 18:57

“Everything you touch turns to shit” said to me by my ex husband.

Italiancitizenship · 21/02/2023 18:57

Note the EX

Macanncheese · 21/02/2023 18:58

Me too! 💐

Walterwhiteswifey · 21/02/2023 18:59

18 years old out in town for drinks with my very very slender friend. Group of drunk men walk past us and one said "I'll take the fat one" and they all laughed. Destroyed my confidence and I was so embarrassed, I wanted to go straight home. I was a size 12 at the time...

Badhead · 21/02/2023 18:59

'I'd only shag her if she had a bag over her head.'

Said about me, from some random lad sat on the same table as me at college, whilst I was quietly minding my own business.

It's funny how a throwaway comment like that can still impact you 15 years on.

TheFormidableMrsC · 21/02/2023 19:04

Receiving a message from OW after my husband upped and walked out one morning leaving me with a disabled toddler and not a penny to my name. I should add that I was totally blindsided by this event, hadn't seen it coming at all. She kindly wrote to me "I am so bored of your pitiful bleating, you sad fuck". I don't think I've ever been so winded as I was by that utter cruelty. It's been 10 years and that comment still plays on my mind.