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Original poster

What is something someone has said that is etched in your brain?

707 replies

WhiteNoiseMoreToys · 19/02/2023 21:49

Mine is when I was 17, pretty self conscious and just finished being intimate with my then boyfriend.

We decided to get up and go out and as I sat up to put my top on he poked my belly and said “Christ, you could feed Africa with that tyre” it baffles me now, how brazen it was to just come out with it. But I was a size 8-10 and honestly I think I’m still confused 😂

Its one of those things that ‘pop’ into my mind at random times ans it’s gout me wondering what others peoples ‘moments’ are when they remember something someone has said that might not have significance, but will always be remembered.

OP posts:
Cats23 · 21/02/2023 13:19

'Happiness over Stability'.

Needless to say, I was told this when contemplating leaving Dp.
Neither of us happy but with a mortgage and little money worries, I was staying purely for the easy life rather than being happy.
In contrast, I now have no mortgage (Rent) and money is always going out to keep going.....But , Im much happier!!!!!

Bigpinktrain · 21/02/2023 13:23

I was a nursery manager at a chain of nurseries in Leytonstone and a prospective parent came to the open day, whilst I was showing her round introducing her to the staff members, there was a room leader who wore a headscarf and the parent said to me clearly with no shame, “I don’t speak to people like her”. I was silenced for a moment and then said, “well you aren’t welcome here then”
Still makes me feel sick thinking about it.

purpleme12 · 21/02/2023 13:28

Bigpinktrain · 21/02/2023 13:23

I was a nursery manager at a chain of nurseries in Leytonstone and a prospective parent came to the open day, whilst I was showing her round introducing her to the staff members, there was a room leader who wore a headscarf and the parent said to me clearly with no shame, “I don’t speak to people like her”. I was silenced for a moment and then said, “well you aren’t welcome here then”
Still makes me feel sick thinking about it.

I love the comeback though

DarkShade · 21/02/2023 13:34

StillMedusa · 21/02/2023 00:04

A nice one:
I'm part of a charity that has a week long camp every year (we all have a child with disabilities)
DS1 VERY challenging during his teens and even at camp he was awful.. you name it he did it.

Fast forward 6 years, and my now young adult kids came to camp with their sibling as always. As I left the shower block one morning another camper said ' Can I have a word?' My heart sank... I'd heard that so often during the previous years and it was never good.

Then she said ' HOW did you do it?! Your kids are so amazing and wonderful with everyone here!'

I actually burst into tears. I realised she hadn't been there during DS1's awful years and only saw the fabulous young man he had finally become.. and she was right DS1 (and the others) WERE wonderful.. they helped out everywhere, were amazing with the children... and that I was still stuck panicking about how DS1 WAS and was failing to see how he is now.

One simple sentence took away years of ' where did I go wrong?'

(DS1 has made his career working with children who have disabilities now and he is great at it :) )

This is fantastic, you must be so so proud of your wonderful boy.

Mangolist · 21/02/2023 13:47

I actually had a lovely one at work today. Seeing a patient for the first time (NHS but not clinical!), I helped her with a few things that, to me, are daily bread and butter. At the end she said 'You are so so good at your job. I bet they are very happy you're here. After a lifetime of putdowns from my mother, actually being told I'm good at something never fails to give me a thrill

xogossipgirlxo · 21/02/2023 14:09

StillMedusa · 21/02/2023 00:04

A nice one:
I'm part of a charity that has a week long camp every year (we all have a child with disabilities)
DS1 VERY challenging during his teens and even at camp he was awful.. you name it he did it.

Fast forward 6 years, and my now young adult kids came to camp with their sibling as always. As I left the shower block one morning another camper said ' Can I have a word?' My heart sank... I'd heard that so often during the previous years and it was never good.

Then she said ' HOW did you do it?! Your kids are so amazing and wonderful with everyone here!'

I actually burst into tears. I realised she hadn't been there during DS1's awful years and only saw the fabulous young man he had finally become.. and she was right DS1 (and the others) WERE wonderful.. they helped out everywhere, were amazing with the children... and that I was still stuck panicking about how DS1 WAS and was failing to see how he is now.

One simple sentence took away years of ' where did I go wrong?'

(DS1 has made his career working with children who have disabilities now and he is great at it :) )

Aw this is nice. Well done. Hard work paid off.

Itsacakebaby · 21/02/2023 14:19

"You don't really know how to make conversation with people do you?" (Ex boyfriend).

"When they told me it was a girl my heart sank" (My biological father to my mum after I was born ). Thankfully he left when I was 4 months old to pursue an affair with his now wife. First child he had with her was a girl 🤔

Rufusroo · 21/02/2023 16:16

DH - I only cheat during the week, I’m faithful at the weekends

Skinandbones · 21/02/2023 17:52

So a family member go back in touch with my mum. Big family secret, my uncle had left her with gran and mum when his wife died. He got married again and gran insisted that she was sent to live with them. Long before me.
I was in the bathroom and mum says oh I wish I had kept her with me, she would have been great company in my old age. Absolutely floored.

Creamcrackersandricecakes · 21/02/2023 17:52

When I was around 13 I had terrible skin, which I was really self conscious about. I used to wear concealer and foundation to school to try and cover the worst of it.
One day I had to walk past a bunch of girls in the year above; they were well known for being bitchy and naturally all had perfect skin. I kept my head down as I scuttled past on the opposite side of the corridor, but clearly heard one snort loudly and exclaim, "Oh my God! Baaaad make up job!!" and her horrid cow of a friend respond, "Yeah, and a baaaad face!!"

They all pissed themselves laughing and I locked myself in a loo and cried. My DD has started to suffer with acne and my god, the amount I've spent on over the counter remedies and expensive make up for her would make your hair curl.

Incognito1975 · 21/02/2023 17:53

My mother once said to me ‘with your looks you need to brush up on your personality’ I was a child at the time but never forgot.

Thereluctantgrownup · 21/02/2023 18:01

'Maybe we can turn you into one of those skinny girls with big boobs' and 'when are you going to lose weight so I can propose', both said by my then boyfriend when I was between the ages of 18 - 23ish.

To be honest, all the comments that have been ingrained in my mind are weight related and said by men who should have known better (partners, dad, grandad, brother). Men really need to learn to shut the fuck up 🤷🏻‍♀️

Laurie000 · 21/02/2023 18:07

“There are 2 kinds of people in this world. People that are going somewhere and people that are going nowhere. And you my love, are going nowhere!” were the words said by my dad after we had an argument. I was in my early-mid 20s and was working as a supply teacher. We always had a rollercoaster relationship, but started getting on better when I moved abroad, I’m back in the UK now, but live nearly 100 miles away. I’ve forgive him and love him dearly, but I’ll never forget those words.

Twentyfirstcenturymumma · 21/02/2023 18:10

So very sad, but understandable, that all this terrible stuff is remembered.
By contrast I'll never forget my very dearly loved mum saying what fantastic parents me and my husband were to our ds's.

pensionconfusion · 21/02/2023 18:10

I love you but I don't like you - DM

Trudij123 · 21/02/2023 18:11

I came down the stairs all ready for a night out feeling amazing when I was 18 and my mum looked me up and down and said “ well that clings to all your lumps and creases” never forgotten it

NowWhatUsernameShallIHave · 21/02/2023 18:12

My Dad talking to my sister not knowing I could hear

No one would want to
live in a house where the scaffolding/ foundations are weak (can’t remember which one)

Context - I had a genetic disorder and my boyfriend’s parents were not accepting me because of it

HarrietPoole · 21/02/2023 18:14

Yorkshirelass04 · 19/02/2023 22:41

'Sometimes I wish I could stick a pillow over your head so I can pretend I am having sex with someone attractive,'
He said it was fine as he was only joking.

What an absolutely horrible man (I'm assuming it was a man). Flowers

Pallisers · 21/02/2023 18:16

My DD has started to suffer with acne and my god, the amount I've spent on over the counter remedies and expensive make up for her would make your hair curl.

It is really worth getting a dermatology appointment. My dd was the same and a topical antibiotic cream (on prescription) cleared it up immediately. If that hadn't worked there were other options too.

PurplePenguins · 21/02/2023 18:18

I lost a lot of weight, about 5st, and Fletcher good about myself. Just before I got married I got a bit "bloated". I was in fact pregnant. A lot of comments about my dress wouldn't fit etc stick in my head still but the one that sticks in my head is, 2 weeks after my DC was born, my DM was looking through the wedding pics as said " Ah Purple, you used to look so good before you put all that weight back on l" 😪

Thisisnotreallymyname · 21/02/2023 18:19

I’ve just noticed that nearly all of the comments that people remember are nasty ones. It’s interesting that we remember them rather than if we get a nice comments. X

Titsalenabumflop · 21/02/2023 18:22

MeganLogan I don't really understand your meaning.

Titsalenabumflop · 21/02/2023 18:26

RufusRoo that's bloody good of him! 😡

Caktwenty · 21/02/2023 18:27

I had not long had a baby, I was feeling deflated about everything. I wasn't comfortable in myself or what I was wearing and I was generally a shy person anyway, but being stuck with a group of people I didn't really know or had spent time with really didnt help especially as my husband was away socialising, and one of the girls said to the others "I don't know how he puts up with her"
Just made me feel so small and upset and desperate to leave. Always stuck with me :(

MillieS76 · 21/02/2023 18:28

My mother said to me ‘You wouldn’t be a good mother, it’s probably a good thing your relationships end, you’re too emotionally unstable’ She didn’t know at the time but I was ‘emotionally unstable’ because my partner broke up with me as I was suffering a miscarriage. 10 years later, I met my now husband and found out I was pregnant, those words kept echoing round my head and at times I’d second guess my ability to be a good mum, I think in some ways it did make me strive to be a better parent to my son but there were definitely days I needed help but refused to ask for fear of someone thinking I wasn’t a good mum.

She did apologise years later and said she didn’t know what she was thinking saying it but you can’t really undo the damage once you’ve said it