What is something someone has said that is etched in your brain?

[WhiteNoiseMoreToys]

Mine is when I was 17, pretty self conscious and just finished being intimate with my then boyfriend.

We decided to get up and go out and as I sat up to put my top on he poked my belly and said “Christ, you could feed Africa with that tyre” it baffles me now, how brazen it was to just come out with it. But I was a size 8-10 and honestly I think I’m still confused 😂

Its one of those things that ‘pop’ into my mind at random times ans it’s gout me wondering what others peoples ‘moments’ are when they remember something someone has said that might not have significance, but will always be remembered.

Another couple from my dad: when he was going to King's College hospital NICU 40-odd years ago before he adopted me, and I had been there for months after being born 3 months prematurely, addicted to heroin and being weaned off it. The doctors were on strike at the time, and he said "I'm here to collect my tiny premature baby that I'm adopting," and the doctors then parted like the Red Sea to let him through apparently. 😥🥺

I was also told the paediatric consultant at the NICU who took care of me told my dad that I was "a miracle of modern paediatric care". 😥💖💫✨

Telling my mum proudly that I was now only 10 stone...
"Bloody hell, if I was 10 stone I'd put my head in the gas oven"

a boy in senior school called me 'tree trunk legs', i was not fat then, but sturdy, he carried on trying to be my boyfriend though. he wasn't and never would be.

Random man in a club came up and poked my boobs and said 'wow, you've got one much bigger than the other'

I think about it all the time

My teenage son arrived home, sat down beside me, and said, “Henry says you’re the best out of all the mums”. I don’t know which of us was more proud.

My lovely mum, shortly before she died told me "I think you're amazing".
Miss her every day 😢

My mother saying "Don't be silly dear" dismissively - it was all she ever seemed to say to me.

At university a friend saying "You expect too much of people" when I had been hurt by a mutual friend. At the time I thought she was being a bit unsympathetic but as life has gone on I realise there was some truth in it

💐 @TutiFrutti My mum said the same about my 3 yr old son shortly before she died too. And with such feeling!

I was actually coming on to share a driving instructor one - ‘less space, less pace’ which I always think of when in a tricky spot! And my dad saying ‘home again, home again jiggety jig’ whenever we drove the car back into our drive after a journey. It makes me want to foster similar things for my kids that make them smile or give them a good habit when they are older 😊

DM on my birthday, called me selfish and told me she would make it her mission to ruin the rest of my life. She was upset because some friends had meet me at a pub I worked at for a few drinks, and she thought I had a secret party.

Teacher at school laughed and told me to lower my expectations after I told him I wanted to work in law.

A woman I worked with told me we looked the same age. She was 60 I was 21. I was very self conscious, I thought she was implying I looked really old for my age. I realised much later on that she thought she looked 21.

Wow I hope you have gone no contact with your mother! She sounds awful and doesn't deserve you x

It's funny isn't it how it is typically the unkind words that stay with us. At secondary school a group of boys in my class used to make monkey sounds at me and said I looked like a monkey (because of my nose). I remember staring at a picture of a gorilla on the wall in class, looking at its nose and trying not to cry.

Similarly after receiving 5 As, 6 Bs "why weren't they all As"

I feel there's a special support group awaiting people like us who have high standards thrust upon us as children. At least our own kids won't experience the same unattainable perfection goals.

My then BF when I was about 29 saying to me 'You're not fat but you could do with toning up!'

Funny thing was, he was overweight and also a personal trainer so he should have known theres not such thing as 'toning up' . Twat.

Said by my boyfriend's friend's girlfriend, ostensibly out of my earshot but really not: "That's XX's new girlfriend? She's no oil painting, is she?"

This was my first-ever proper boyfriend (and I was late to having boyfriends, so not particularly young) and I was ridiculously nervous about being a girlfriend rather than a short summer romance. Did not help my self-esteem. Although I'm not from the UK and had never heard this expression before, so it was only after I got someone to explain it to me that I was sure I was right to be upset by it (though hey, who wants to be an oil painting!). Still remember it, though!

Trigger Warning - mention of Termination

After a not well-thought out/bullied into termination, I sought counselling through a specific charity.

I dressed up nicely for the first time since, drove alone to the nearest city where they were based, and in the course of the session, I told the counsellor that I was now finding it very hard to think of my husband romantically (he had more or less blackmailed the very weak and pathetic me into the procedure) - and she simply said (direct quote),
"So you are not allowing your husband to show his sexual feelings for you?"

I didn't have an answer to that, and never went back for any further sessions.
That child would have been 28 this year. I will never forget.

No he wasn’t right! So sorry you feel that way, that’s heartbreaking.

ExH at a meal for our DD before she left to go to uni 12 years ago (we had divorced when DD was 7 but had remained civil for her sake).

" I take no credit for the amazing woman (our daughter), has become and will continue to be. That's all down to you, you've done a fantastic job".

There should be some stock phrases to retaliate. Just some easy to remember comebacks. Like your no oil painting yourself, if I was your boyfriend I would get a new girlfriend, a much more prettier one,
nasty people say these things at your most vulnerable, they think you won’t say anything back.
be double barrel armed. Or even the most easy to remember Go fuck yourself.

A MALE RELATIVE???!!! What a disgusting thing to say. I have a horrible feeling that there's many a fat, balding, lardarsed toothless male relative who has said ghastly things like that about young female relatives and IF challenged (unlikely) will come back with some crap about 'I was only joking' or 'I was drunk'.

I am an identical twin - when we were about 15 some old drunk man said to me if you’re twins why is she much prettier than you? I’ve also been referred to as ‘the broader twin’. It’s never left me. What surprises me now is that the delightful chap who pointed this out actually looked a little like shrek… those who live in glass houses and all that jazz. All jokes aside it ruined life for me for many years!

When I was 18 a young guy stopped me while I was walking from college. He said “it is so nice to see someone who looks happy for once” and then he walked off.

I was happy and I was happy constantly for years. It made me really think about the energy I give off and how it impacts others.

"I hope one day you love someone the way I love you and they treat you the way you treated me."
After telling a guy I didn't want to pursue a relationship with him.

Just shows he's never actually seen or touched any in real life.

Sending huge unmumsnetty hugs to you through the ether Fred

Well done for going NC with the vile pair - it takes so much strength to cut off your abusers - be proud of yourself and remember you are not to blame for any of the toxic stuff that happened to you as a child - you were an innocent xx