What is something someone has said that is etched in your brain?

[WhiteNoiseMoreToys]

Mine is when I was 17, pretty self conscious and just finished being intimate with my then boyfriend.

We decided to get up and go out and as I sat up to put my top on he poked my belly and said “Christ, you could feed Africa with that tyre” it baffles me now, how brazen it was to just come out with it. But I was a size 8-10 and honestly I think I’m still confused 😂

Its one of those things that ‘pop’ into my mind at random times ans it’s gout me wondering what others peoples ‘moments’ are when they remember something someone has said that might not have significance, but will always be remembered.

Oh wow - that was my mother through and through - except in my case it was 97.5% and she just replied with where did the 1.5% go?

From a non working mum in the school playground when my son started in Reception …. “you work? Oh poor you” …. That felt like taking a bullet from the sisterhood 😆. I didn’t explain that I worked because we needed two wages for the mortgage and the nursery bill, as assumed she wouldn’t get it.

My mother used to say to that "well if you saw me, why didn´t you bloody wave?" which I always thought was a great retort even though she blanked people the whole time

that would be 2.5% 😂

Called me Louise during sex. My name isn’t Louise.

Yup… 😂

I overheard the girls I was out with in my first week at university talking about me in the loos, they didn't know I was in there. The line that I still think about all the time now nearly 30 years later was along the lines that it was funny that I thought I looked good. One of them replied "it's hilarious when ugly girls get dressed up".

I am ugly by the way they weren't jealous or anything just really unkind. I didn't think I looked good though. It did make me really scared to make any sort of effort though in case people thought I did think I looked good.

I was seeing a lad who told me I looked fitter without my glasses on 🫠 funnily enough, he looked fitter when I didn’t have them on either!! Safe to say the dating period didn’t last long 🥱

"Don't come near me - I'll catch ginger disease." Brother (yes I'm ginger)
"Your bum is MASSIVE." Brother again (no it isn't)
"God you really are embarrassingly ugly." Yes you guessed it, Brother. (I'm perfectly average looking).

And many more.

My brother is 50 today and we haven't spoken for eight years.

At school, unsure on exact age but I was queuing up for PE or something, 2 boys in my year, one being a neighbour/childhood friend walked past both looked at me, said between them ‘she’s so ugly’ and laughed and walked off. I don’t think they realised I had heard, maybe if I had more confrontation in me I would have responded. To this day I have very little time for my childhood friend despite his mum being friends with my mum.

on another occasion 2 girls called me a beached whale in art, I don’t get it, yes I was bigger than average and struggled with my weight but one of them was bigger than me for sure.

I know kids can be awful but these were teenagers who should know better.

my own mother telling me I’d never get a boyfriend because I was too fat and no one would fancy me. I was a size 14-16 at the time. Regardless it’s stuck with me forever and I constantly feel like my dp of 10 years is going to leave me for someone skinnier. I was brought up being taught that men only like thin girls and being bigger made you worthless.

my stepdad also used criticise and take the mick out of me because I was ‘intelligent’. But the thing is I am really not overly intelligent, I was average at school buy enjoyed school and liked learning, both my mother and stepfather were school drop outs and seemed to hate the the fact I enjoyed school. My stepdad used to take the pee saying that I was a nerd and a boffin.

Mammy is the type of girl you're friends with not who you fancy... that hit me hard at secondary school and I still think about it now even though I know objectively speaking I'm attractive and have a pretty face.

You know, if you stay running you'd have a really good body.., said whilst i was on top and in the middle of sex. I was about 9 stone and very healthy!

And now a positive, on my wedding day (not the groom 🙈)... you have taken my breath away.

@DarkShade oh your "it just takes courage" from your lovely mum has just got to me. Reminds me of my own lovely mum. What has stuck in my head isn't what someone said but something they have given me. Thirteen years ago my mum, MIL and FIL all died in the same week. To say it was a horrendous time doesn't even come close. Then my mum's sister was diagnosed with cancer...I honestly thought I'd go under . Then , out of the blue I received a package. It was a lovely little wooden wall plaque with the words "Courage, dear heart".
it was from my son...who has his own problems....autism and MH issues. Coming from him who faces his own challenges so bravely just meant so much to me. It's on my bedroom wall and every morning without fail I look at that wee sign and have the strength to face the day.

When I was a teen- a ‘friend’ said that one of our teen male friends should lose his virginity with me because ‘the first time’s always with an ugly one’.

My second pregnancy (I lost the baby) midwife was asking me questions regarding my relationship. "Does he hit you? If not, why not?" That's always stuck with me.

Music 'teacher' at primary school trying to encourage us to sing nicely and not like frogs. We're all singing away happily and one kid asked me if I was a frog. I said no and he sniggered away to his friend.

I mimed from that point forward, and 30+ years later I still don't really sing in front of people...I'm actually getting better since having kids, and will now sing happy birthday at parties etc. And I'll happily sing away to the kids, as long as no one else is around.

My voice is shit, but no more shit than the average person.

My dad used to rub the chalk for the snooker cue on my nose "because it was round like a ball". Always hated my nose and was really paranoid about it.
He also listed all the things about me that were negative, because I reminded him of my mum.
Also told me that him being an absent parent when I was a child, was because his girlfriend didn't like me.
My ex husband once head butted me, and said that because I'd been abused by a previous partner, then that meant he was allowed to do it too.
I struggle to trust anyone at all now. I'm always waiting for them to turn nasty or abusive.

When I was 16 I used to be best friends with this girl let's call her Lucy, and she told me that my other friend, let's call her Amy, said I had no personality. When I confronted Amy she said it was actually Lucy that said this about me. It has stuck in my head for years and for so long I genuinely believed I had no personality and I hated myself

She (Lucy) also said to me that one of the girls from the running team said 'how big my thighs had got lately' I found out later that it was Lucy who made this up too

One that has always stayed with me was from an older but more junior colleague on my team many years ago. I was getting obviously frustrated with another junior that I supervised who kept making mistakes when the older colleague very nicely said:

"Firefly, if we were all as good as you at this, we would all be on your pay grade."

It seems such an obvious point, but from that moment on, I always had much more understanding and infact I later went on to be be in charge of in-house training. It changed my whole outlook at work and I became more tolerent overnight.

What a lovely thought. It's also nice to see something positive amidst the other comments.

My maths teacher had a go at me for being rude because I didn't give much eye contact, I now suspect I'm autistic and have thought about that comment almost every day for 20 years, and every time I speak to someone I'm conscious of not looking them in the eye enough

Mines a nice one. The very cool friend of a boyfriend, said “when we all go out and you’re there, I think “oh brilliant, I know it’ll be a great night.”” I was really touched. Still makes me smIle all these years later.

Positive: in a meeting last week we were discussing world events ( not relevant to the meeting) and one of the younger ones asked if I could be her grandmother ( I'm in my '60's so not offensive). When I asked her why she said that I was cool, broadminded and I could teach other women my age a thing or two.
It was a bit clumsy but it made my day!

A level tutor once told me I was "all light and no heat". I found it incredibly hurtful, as you can imagine. I've thought of it often since.
However, looking back on it, this man's idea of teaching was to dictate to us his own A level notes to us without any further discussion so perhaps I shouldn't have taken it quite so strongly to heart.

I've got so many. People can be really mean!
I'd been at the hospital with my 13 month old son. He'd been in hospital for 5 weeks after heart surgery.
I walked to the shop and some girls were outside. They looked at each other and then looked at me. One of them said "if I looked like her, I'd kill myself!"
I got home and cried for ages. I was so stressed and down after going through all that with very little support.
I really wish I had said something at the time.

My stepson was 4/5 at the time. Had that thing at the school where they weigh them and let you know if they’re under or over weight. 😡 my OH was sent a letter to say he was overweight which is f*king ridiculous. But my OH elderly grandad laughed and said ‘well at least people will think he’s your son then’ and gestured to my body. Which is definitely overweight. I was mortified and it’s never left me. I am so paranoid about my weight anyway but this made me resent him and also worried he may make some sort of inappropriate comment now to either stepson (14) or my daughter (9) and make them feel sht about themselves.