What is something someone has said that is etched in your brain?

[WhiteNoiseMoreToys]

Mine is when I was 17, pretty self conscious and just finished being intimate with my then boyfriend.

We decided to get up and go out and as I sat up to put my top on he poked my belly and said “Christ, you could feed Africa with that tyre” it baffles me now, how brazen it was to just come out with it. But I was a size 8-10 and honestly I think I’m still confused 😂

Its one of those things that ‘pop’ into my mind at random times ans it’s gout me wondering what others peoples ‘moments’ are when they remember something someone has said that might not have significance, but will always be remembered.

I've had some absolute howlers about my appearance, like my mum telling me I'd inherited my granny's fat arms when I was 12, then repeating the sentiment a few years later to really hammer it home. I'm 32 and I have never worn a sleeveless top thanks to that.

However, comments about my appearance don't compare to someone (with whom I'm very close) saying that talking to me is "like talking to someone that isn't even human". I'm autistic and this person said I'm like a humanoid robot and they can understand why so many people dislike me at first. Great - thanks.

Oh god. This reminded me of another- forced to dance at a wedding because my dp was best man, and the groom had specifically asked us to get up shortly after them, so that they weren't in the spilt light for too long. It was excruciating (I was already self conscious), and another (male 😫) friend came up to me straight afterwards and said 'oh dear, I see your not a natural dancer either!'. It was meant in a friendly way, but confirmed all my embarrassment at how awkward I must have looked 🥺

Actually I've just remembered a nice one that I've never forgotten - a random bloke at uni that I was pulling in a storage cupboard (I know...) telling me I'd be a great mum 😁 I don't even know how conversation got around to parenting as I hardly knew him! I think of him fondly though.

And my darling Grandad saying to me once in his solemn voice, when I'd dyed my hair myself and was upset with how it turned out - "There is no need to gild the lily" 😍

Be Happy...It's later than you think. Makes me think of seizing the day in a way that no other saying has done.

My D&D party, all of whom are male, teens and 20s, all amazing young guys and they are absolutely not hitting on me here (I'm 50, married, and sat with DH next to me. in the game) It's become a bit of a thing now during a game to make me laugh, really properly about-to-pee laughing - once one of them starts they all pile in on it.
The main culprit was for some weeks when I was first registered as partially sighted, my "eyes" in the game - he used to read my dice and tell me what was on my character sheets. Whilst he was at it, he found out that certain things make me absolutely howl and he just used to sit there grinning away to himself and saying "dat laugh!"
EVERY BLOODY WEEK.
I had been a very glamorous young goth and then lost my sight in one eye, had a child, got old... my party don't think I'm a far-out old woman, they just think I'm one of the adventurers.

My FIL is awful and has done many awful things, but most of them not in front of me (most of them before I knew him). However, once we were having a conversation about a school friend of DH and I and her autistic brothers. He said about the brothers, 'they're barely even human.'

I was shocked at the time but since then both my sons and I have been diagnosed autistic. The really ironic thing is that FIL is OBVIOUSLY autistic too but would never realise/admit it.

I also remember a couple of comments from people when I have had disordered eating and ended up underweight. One neighbour said. 'Oh wow, all your fat is gone!'

The mum of one of my son's friends said, 'Look at you, you'll have to tell me your secret - is it jogging.' No, it was having incredibly poor mental health and basically going through a breakdown!

I was talking to a colleague about a conversation I had with my 8 year old daughter, and she stopped and looked at me and said 'I love the kind of mother that you are'.

She could have just said 'you're a good mum' or something generic, but the way she said it sounded like she really meant it.

When I was seven - I had been forced into a situation living with my paternal grandparents, so saw my father a few times a year (and my mother not at all), and I clearly remember sitting in a car with him, and him saying,

"Don't call me Daddy" - he wanted me, as troubled and confused as I was, and only a kid, to use his first name. I never managed it, and it certainly affected our already fragile relationship.

Many MANY years later, we went out for when of out for a very rare lunch (known by me, as Lunch at the Last Minute, as always hastily arranged as he would be just about to leave the country), and he put on a petulant face and whined, "Why don't you call me Dad?"
He stifled that word all those years ago, my throat closes if I try to use it, and will only refer to him our loud as my Father (if that - it can sometimes be more colourful.)

I inwardly rolled my eyes, remembering the phrase - which might apply overall to this thread;
"The axe forgets, but the tree remembers".

Mines a nice one.
The last thing my mum said to me- 'i love you more than you will ever know'
She died that night but I'm forever blessed to have those words in my head every day.
There have been many other worse things etched into my head by utter idiots in my life but they've been cancelled out but that one statement and nobody can ever take it from me.

I was a defensive and confrontational 18yr old in my first proper job. Serving the public. Customers often complained about the service which lead to some arguments,it was never nice and supervisors had to in intervene. There was another girl who worked alongside me ( she was 21) and she always handled things so well,she always managed to get the customer to back off but with politeness and a smile.
I asked her how she did it and she quoted
"you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar"
This was a lightbulb moment for me,I got it .
That has influenced my whole adult life and I changed from being someone who had the potential to get caught up in a lot of dodgy situations .to someone who could de-escalate situations and talk people down just by being "nice".
I have the reputation now (40years later) of being a lovely and nice person.
I'm not at all. I am just good at acting that way when it's needed. It's gets you a lot further with most situations than meeting anger with anger back.

I worked behind a bar when I was 19 and one of the regulars I just didn't click with.
He wanted me to pour him a pint and his way of getting my attention was to shout "Hey you, you ugly cunt". I don't know why I didn't just walk out. I guess I needed the money.

"You don't fit into our family. You're timid and you have a dark side". Said by MIL when I'd had the audacity to quickly call my mother in her presence (they don't see eye to eye).

I once walked up to a group of kids and mums in my kids school playground and one of the boys opened the Guiness Book of World Records and pointed to the fattest woman in the world and said ‘I found this photo of you today, I didn’t know you were famous’ and walked round and showed everyone in the huddle. His mother dragged him away mortified and everyone else just stood open mouthed. I walked away and have never told another soul that it happened. It was about 10 years ago and I still think about what I should have said to him and his mother in response. He was about 7 and he smiled at me and looked me directly in the eye as he said it. He knew what he was doing for sure although I know only a child I wish I had the courage at the time to explain how that made me feel.

A bad one: when DS was a week old I was on the way to meet up with two new friends from pregnancy group, the first time since all our babies were born. I was having a tough time in the newborn trenches, but excited to see them. DP was of the opinion that these women were too good to be my friends. He kept pointing to issues with my appearance and telling me that they would be well dressed, their hair would be nice, their changing bags would be organised. In the end he looked at me in exasperation and said, "why don't you ever keep yourself nice?" It just crushed me, I turned up in tears. I had just had a baby! And it was entirely fabricated, these women were in similar jobs and had similar attitudes to me, they ended up being my rock through the baby years.

A good one, form the same time period: I was really struggling to feed my 3 day old baby. Everything hurt, baby would scream, I would cry. I felt like such a failure. DP made me feel bad, the midwife told me to just get on with it, the messaging everywhere made me feel awful. My mum was a massive help, but the thing she said that really stuck with me was: "it takes courage".

Up until that point I'd felt like a pathetic failure, unable to do something natural and easy, and making a scene. But with that simple sentence she reframed it to me as something challenging and brave that I was doing for my baby. She made me feel like a hero just for trying. It changed my whole perspective. Now whenever things are tough and I'm struggling with something painful, I tell myself, it takes courage.

My dm to me aged 13 "you do dress rather frumpily"

Beautiful x

"《name》is an only child because her parents took one look at her and decided they couldn't face having another. Any potential sibling would have killed themselves with that as a sister".

I was working in the Co-op at age 16 and made a silly mistake with someone's change. After I corrected it the bloke looked me up and down and sarcastically said "You'll go far". There were lots of other abusive customers saying worse but for some reason that one stuck with me.

As a new mum in the 80's and being only 20, the midwife called my newborn an ugly little cutie !!!

My Dad, who flew frequently with work
"I often think that if you do something often enough, it's just a matter of time until the unthinkable happens".

Thereby starting my lifelong fear of flying.

Oh....and a lovely boss I once had. Who told me to "give up the right to be right". That has helped me so many times in so many boardroom situations I cannot count! Pick your battles :)

I stayed in an unhappy marriage, only just getting round to divorce now. Initially I thought if I just loved the kids enough I could protect them from it. But when my DD was about 4 she said "when I grow up Mummy I am going to be cross and sad like you".

She's 21 now and to my shame, I fear her prediction has come true

@SchoolTripDrama I have a 4 year old and it breaks my heart some worthless piece of shit treated you like that. 💐

At school I got 99% in a maths test, came home to tell my parents and my Dad said 'What happened to the other 1%' He said he was joking but it's telling that I still remember the hurt nearly 40 years later

I’ve had a few people now say things to me such as “because of the way you are”, and “I didn’t like you/ didn’t know how to take you when I first met you”.

This upsets me because I’m regularly told I am a really kind, loyal, generous and thoughtful person. I’m the first to stick up for others. Often these comments come from people who wouldn’t do anything for anyone.

I think I’m coming across like Claire from Happy Valley.

"Your back's broad enough", - from a woman who'd known me from childhood, when I was about 22, and fretting about having done something which might annoy someone else.

A remark from a schoolfriend about my legs and another personal remark from someone at college, about my figure. I don't have a very good figure or legs. I don't look bad when I'm washed and dressed and got a bit of blusher on, but they each mentioned my worst parts and their words have stuck, because they were mentioning parts which I would love to change. People who are just born pretty and with good figures don't appreciate how lucky they are.