What is something someone has said that is etched in your brain?

[WhiteNoiseMoreToys]

Mine is when I was 17, pretty self conscious and just finished being intimate with my then boyfriend.

We decided to get up and go out and as I sat up to put my top on he poked my belly and said “Christ, you could feed Africa with that tyre” it baffles me now, how brazen it was to just come out with it. But I was a size 8-10 and honestly I think I’m still confused 😂

Its one of those things that ‘pop’ into my mind at random times ans it’s gout me wondering what others peoples ‘moments’ are when they remember something someone has said that might not have significance, but will always be remembered.

When I was about 8, and I'm now 75, I was taking part in a Sunday School concert, we were getting changed and having a bit of make up put on. The woman doing my make up said 'Oh, it's nice to have a nose you can get hold of instead of those tiny ones!'. I think she realised what she'd said and tried to back pedal but I've nover forgotten it.

“You’re not beautiful but there’s something about you”.

Heard countless variants of that over the years. 😐

Dd, age 3 or 4 "boys and my bruvver is smelly but me and mummy, we are bee-yoo-tiful girls" lol!

Aw I find this one really heartbreaking. Nobody should feel ashamed or embarrassed about how they dance. Everyone is entitled to the fun and freedom of dance, it's not about looking cool or being able to do specific moves! It's about expression (not in a "woo" way, just moving your body to the music) and exercise and sharing an experience with other people sometimes. Hate this. I hope you keep enjoying dancing around at home and feel able to bring that out into the world sometime!

Digging deep for some nice ones - colleague at first job after graduation when I was leaving without something to go to because I hated that job so damn much - 'you'll be OK, you're a survivor.' I have no idea what you saw in 21 year old me to say that, Chris Lejeune, but I've always remembered it and whispered it to myself more than a few times. I wish I could tell you how much it has helped.

My SIL told me I was 'not a natural mother'. Because I was worrying about my PFB. Given that this was coming from a woman who smoked and drank through her pregnancies it was particularly galling. 18 years on and I have never forgotten this.

In a similar vein, Howies had two t shirts a decade or so ago that were a bit of a moment of realisation;
"There is no away" ie: when you throw something away, it doesn't dissappear! It still exists, most likely and worst case in landfill.

"We are all downstream" - we all place demand on natural resources, we all create waste.

I was 3, at nursery. There was a little party for the families. My mum had my baby brother on her lap so a friend’s mum let me sit on hers. She exclaimed “gosh when “her daughter” sits on my lap she’s all skin and bone. This one has much more padding”.

That was the day I started thinking something was wrong with my body. Not that it matters but I was the tiniest little thing ever. I remember it, and how it made me feel vividly

“Your O levels were the biggest disappointment of my life,” said my mother.

I got 3 As and 6Bs.

and for context she had a good few issues that would score more highly on the scale than a few O level marks!

Mine was my STBXH - told me to listen when my betters were talking😱

There are several for me. When I was 13, a boy at a party said to me 'You're ugly - your nose must have been broken, it's got a bump on it'. I've been really conscious about it ever since, I hate that 13 year old me took it so much to heart. Another one was when I was godmother to my niece, and was holding her in my arms at the christening. Her mum (SIL) grabbed her back from me, saying 'Oh Cats, you don't know how to hold a baby! Anyone could tell you haven't any of your own!' I was infertile (medical reasons) and it really wounded me to hear that. I haven't forgotten it in years.

Positive one, being asked to represent my organisation in the management of a high profile incident. "We need someone with technical expertise who we can trust not to panic."

I remember one of the popular pretty girls at school saying giving me a compliment on an aspect of my looks and saying she was jealous of me. It was a real lightbulb moment knowing everyone has things they don't like about themselves because it showed me we all judge ourselves way to harshly and all have things other people want.

After my mam's funeral,me cousin said my mam thought she was more of a daughter thank was.
It made me realise what a bitch she could be when things don't go her way.

“What can I do to help?” A lovely, lovely teacher who listened to me when I was 13 and going through a lot of problems. I was blown away, my family was very dysfunctional and my parents never put my feelings first. She was the first adult who listened and wanted to help. I’ll never forget that feeling.

My Dad (who was always lovely so this was just a blip) on my wedding day, I came back from having my hair and make up done "oh, I thought you were at least going to make an effort on today of all days" Cheers Dad!!

And my now ExH when he was driving and I was passenger ,I pointed a turn out for him which he then missed and he blamed me as apparently me hands were so fat he couldn't see which way I pointed!! WTAF! 30 years on I still think of that!

“Your arms are quite fat aren’t they?”

self conscious ever since. And that was 30 years ago.

Me, aged about 13, to my parents: Am I pretty?
My mum: Well WE think so

Um... thanks?

My husband didn't have a good relationship with his mother but when i was pregnant we decided to give her a chance but when i was 7 months pregnant we were in primark and at the top of her lungs said "you don't look pregnant, just really chubby"

Now this woman is very slim and my wee girl was a ivf baby so before getting pregnant i lost over 3 stone in 6 months and didn't have a huge bump anyways but it really brought me down because she always made me feel like i wasn't good enough or looked how i should look in her world.

Safe to say now though due to other reasons she is not in our lives and it has been the best decision ever.

some words can have a lasting effect on people and how we perceive ourselves

This one is not words but actions. I've been cast in the role of 'family idiot' with everything I do being treated like some sort of accident. Never been congratulated on life achievements like getting my postgrad, new job, mortgage etc. One day, Mum came to the house and noticed the £12 Ikea coffee table l'd 'assembled' and she proceeded to take an actual photo of it to send to the family to show how great it was that I could do that all by myself! In that moment I realised why my family think I'm stupid.

Passed the 11+ and got a place at grammar, my dad said, ‘I used to hate people like you when I was at school’. No well done or anything. More recently according to my dad I’ve ‘never earned much money’, that was said in front of a room full of family and friends. Luckily everyone else seems to know I’ve done ok (apart from him) so we all just eye roll each other when he comes out with this stuff.

While I was in Class 3 of Junior school (so I was about 8/9) We were picking what part we'd like to be in a play. A class mate called out to me " oh but you're not pretty enough to be a princess"
Honestly I've never forgotten it (I'm 50 now) and spent all my school years and some beyond thinking of myself as ugly

I'm actually opened mouthed at that comment

Love this ❤️
What a lovely friend to make sure you knew your true worth
Hope you are in a much better place now

I’ve got a few. Overheard my then FIL talking to my Ex after he’d just found out I was pregnant “get out now son, while you can”
My aunty, who came to see my newborn DD, 2 days after I’d given birth “ooo your belly is still massive isn’t it”
My bitter Ex after finding out I was expecting with now DP “I hope it’s born a mongol”