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Original poster

Over heard in the swimming pool changing room today

302 replies

BankOfMaeve · 19/02/2023 20:39

This made me smile so much.

Two small kids chatting to one another in the next cubicle after their swim.

they were clearly very impressed by the skills of a slightly older child.

“I think she’s a proper swimmer, she has one of those things on her head to cover her hair like they do in the Olympics, and she’s wearing a yellow band, which means she gets to stay in longer than us. She must be training for the Olympics.”

All this at a regular splash and play session in the council pool!

OP posts:
LoveableDave · 20/02/2023 19:19

WaddesdonWanderer · 19/02/2023 23:48

We’re all Abba and Friends fans in our family, and DD, unable to find her knickers in the changing room, said she was going to have to go Fernando!

I have an old, floaty dress that I wear commando when it's very hot and my grandson overheard me saying this to someone. He proudly told his teacher that his ancient grandma had been a commando!

JudgeJ · 20/02/2023 19:28

motherofkevinnotperry · 20/02/2023 03:39

In a very busy motorway services. DD aged 2/3 in full voice announced "mummy, you've had an accident, your pants are dirty, nevermind mummy just keep trying". I walked out the cubicle to sniffers and looks from all around. I had not had an accident, I was perfectly clean and dry it's just after DD was toilet trained 🙄.

My other DC pinched the bottom of a stranger in a queue at about 18 mths old "DADDY" 😳......never seen the man in my life 😳.

When our daughter was about 15 months every man was 'Daddy' which was embarrassing when we had lunch in the Mess! One Subby looked at me, shook his head and said No, think I'd have remembered!

Sundayvibes · 20/02/2023 19:31

One of my most embarrassing moments happened in a changing room cubicle.
whilst getting undressed, my 4 year old at the time shouts out ‘ mummy you have a hairy foof ‘
loud Sniggers in the joining cubicles we’re heard 😂😂

Sundayvibes · 20/02/2023 19:31

Were

Knickerthief1 · 20/02/2023 19:32

violetglow7 · 19/02/2023 23:51

While I get dressed infront of my DD6 quite openly my DH doesn't feel comfortable being naked infront of her (and its a boundary we understand and respect). She knows men have a penis and how it differs etc but shes adamant she wants to see one (because she never has). Kids curiosity and that 😅 She hasn't let up on it for years.

Anyway, I picked her up from nursery when she was around 4 and had to endure a very awkward conversation with her nursery teacher who she told earlier that day "my Daddy won't let me see his willy, but its ok cause my big brother shows me his every day". She had huge concerns about the behaviour of her "big brother" until I explained her big brother is our springer spaniel who sleeps on his back all the time 🤣🤣

Ah classic! My 'son' is the same! 😂

Sunsetmom · 20/02/2023 19:32

Ludo19 · 19/02/2023 22:50

Getting changed in a cubicle once, hear a knock on the door "yes?" I ask thinking someone may have left something. When a little voice asks "do you have a hairy fanny?" Then I hear......"Abigail, come here now"

Spat my tea out at this one! Brilliant!! 😂🤣

JudgeJ · 20/02/2023 19:34

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 20/02/2023 05:14

DS (14) is constantly disappointed that he doesn't need glasses, ever since his best friend age 8 has star wars themed ones.

Show quote history

I caught me three year old kneeling up on an old fashion kitchen chair with bitsthat stick up, she was banging her head on one of them! When I told her to stop she said she wanted stitches like her friend who's fallen over at the weekend and was now a bit of a heroine at Kindergarten.

dizzydizzydizzy · 20/02/2023 19:42

Kid to his DM in pool changing
rooms (looking at me): “that lady has a very big muff”

HAVELOCK · 20/02/2023 19:42

AGoldenNarwhal · 19/02/2023 22:14

A few weeks ago, I overhead a mum and three kids (baby, toddler and older child) in a family cubicle near us. Baby screaming her head off. The mum calmly says to the other children, 'Just wait while I feed her'. Screaming stops.

Mum to oldest child. 'Don't pick your nose'. Child starts screaming, 'I'm bleeding, there's blood everyone'. Mum says calmly, 'Put your head back and pinch your nose.' Mum to younger child 'Don't step in it.' Sound of slipping. 'Are you ok? Wait there love while I wipe it off you.'

Mum to younger child, 'Don't jump on the bench'... 'Don't jump on your sister, her nose is bleeding'...'Don't look under the side, love, there's someone next door'.

Mum to younger child, 'Don't open the door, love, we're not wearing our clothes'... 'Oh you've opened the door sweetie, can you shut it again? I'm not sure everyone wants to see us with no clothes on'.

Older child 'I think the bleeding's stopped.' Mum to older child 'Can you wipe the floor with your towel?.' Child does this. Mum to child 'I think that's my scarf.'

Mum to toddler 'Come over here so we can get you dressed'. Then, 'no don't put your bottoms on the floor, there's a puddle there.' To older child, 'Can you get the spare bottoms out of the bag?'

A couple of minutes later, 'Great baby's all done, let's go find daddy and tell the people at the desk about the blood. Did you have fun today? Do you want to come again?'

I aspire to that level of zen as a parent.

Definite parenting goals!!

Toomuchtrouble4me · 20/02/2023 19:44

Woodendonkey · 19/02/2023 22:05

My 3 year old saw me put in a tampon the other day (I was trying to be discreet but clearly failed):“Mummy what have you got in your bum? Mummy what have you got? Mummy what’s that in your bum?”
Over and over while I tried to decide what to say

it’s not hard. Just tell them

and all these ‘floppy bottoms’ and ‘hairy bottoms’ - do none of you talk to kids about body parts? It’s shocking.

Each to their own. You do your parental conversations and let others do theirs.

LollipopViolet · 20/02/2023 19:44

A couple from me:

In 2016 I was training as a teaching assistant, volunteering in Year 1 in a very small school. One day, I'm supporting a group, and one of the boys looks at me and in a very serious tone, asks, "Miss X, do you wear glasses because you're old? Because my nana does, and she's old."

I was 26 at the time. That hurt me deeply😀

So I explained about children with glasses growing into adults with glasses.

Another time, another child asked if I had chicken pox - alas no, just skin that to this day is prone to spots 😢I didn't have a proper response to that one - just reassured him that no, I didn't have chicken pox!

A recent one: my friend and I went to Florida in October/November 2022. We were staying at Universal for the last part of the holiday, and as I'm visually impaired and struggle navigating in unfamiliar places, I was using my white cane. We passed a family going the other way, and overhear the child, no older than 9, say to his parents, "Is that a metal detector" while looking at me walking by.

I had to stifle a laugh - that's the best reaction I've ever had to my cane. I only started using it in the last few years, and only in certain situations so I'm still getting used to how people react.

Ludo19 · 20/02/2023 19:50

dizzydizzydizzy · 20/02/2023 19:42

Kid to his DM in pool changing
rooms (looking at me): “that lady has a very big muff”

Muff 😂😂it's a great term

mrslrc · 20/02/2023 19:50

You've all cheered me up and given me a lot of laughs! Thank you, even if it did deviate from the original post

Witchofthedales · 20/02/2023 19:55

A man used to come to our house to deliver sticks for the fire. He had a hernia which made his stomach protrude and hang down over his trousers. I was pregnant with my third son at the time.
One day my eldest son, 4, came to the door with me and asked him, " Do you have a baby in your tummy?"

JudgeJ · 20/02/2023 19:57

Also I didn't read it all, I have better things to do with my time than to read hilarious anecdotes about tampon insertion and their child's comments regarding that.

You sound like one of the many MNers who despise the Daily Mail yet know everything that's in it!

Hopeforrainbows · 20/02/2023 19:57

Ludo19 · 19/02/2023 22:50

Getting changed in a cubicle once, hear a knock on the door "yes?" I ask thinking someone may have left something. When a little voice asks "do you have a hairy fanny?" Then I hear......"Abigail, come here now"

This thread is literally making me cry with laughter! 😂

KeithBurtons · 20/02/2023 20:02

@Loobyloo68 this made me laugh so hard! Thank you :)

JudgeJ · 20/02/2023 20:04

Escapingmadness · 20/02/2023 18:33

My DD was small and reading the graffiti on the walls in the pool changing rooms after lessons. She pointed to the F word written in full capital letter glory and I made some lazy excuse about not knowing what it said......
.....when she piped up "I know how to work it out Mummy. Fuh....Uhhh....

You know the rest!!!

All the others Mum's thought it was hilarious!

I used to know a very straight-laced couple who had a daughter, about 4 when this happened. The woman had gone into a shop and the man waited with the child in a car park, the daughter suddenly came out with a 'mouthful'. Father grasped the steering wheel and asked where she'd heard words like that (she'd certainly never heard them at home). 'It's on that wall over there Daddy', pointing to a graffiti ridden piece of brickwork, it was the first time they realised how well she could read.

Fam23 · 20/02/2023 20:12

Some of these have had me laughing so hard. Kids 🤭

Jenasaurus · 20/02/2023 20:14

On a bus a friend had told her DD not to talk loudly about people in front of them. so she pointed at a lady on the bus and announced loudly, "mummy, when we get home we are going to talk about her!"

Fam23 · 20/02/2023 20:18

My 3 year old son proudly shouted from the bathroom that Daddy had a pair of spectacles between his legs… (he meant testicles 🤭🫣)

funinthesun19 · 20/02/2023 20:18

Jenasaurus · 20/02/2023 20:14

On a bus a friend had told her DD not to talk loudly about people in front of them. so she pointed at a lady on the bus and announced loudly, "mummy, when we get home we are going to talk about her!"

😂😂 Love it!

dapsnotplimsolls · 20/02/2023 20:20

Funniest thread since the one with memes about Prince Harry :)

EarringsandLipstick · 20/02/2023 20:23

Tanith · 19/02/2023 22:35

Reading the displayed work on similes pinned to the wall in DS's classroom, I noticed his contribution:
"My mummy is big and round like an elephant."

It was a hard struggle not to write underneath "because she's pregnant!"

This is fantastic! 😂

newmum32 · 20/02/2023 20:31

I've heard 'Daddy your willy is so big' from the next cubicle! At least he didn't say why is it so tiny!!😂

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