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Original poster

Over heard in the swimming pool changing room today

302 replies

BankOfMaeve · 19/02/2023 20:39

This made me smile so much.

Two small kids chatting to one another in the next cubicle after their swim.

they were clearly very impressed by the skills of a slightly older child.

“I think she’s a proper swimmer, she has one of those things on her head to cover her hair like they do in the Olympics, and she’s wearing a yellow band, which means she gets to stay in longer than us. She must be training for the Olympics.”

All this at a regular splash and play session in the council pool!

OP posts:
Spudlet · 20/02/2023 11:02

YoBeaches · 19/02/2023 21:21

Mummy your bum's hairy Blush

Haha, I had ‘MUMMY! I can see your HAIRY WILLY!’ at max volume 😳 Also ‘WHAT are THOSE?!’ with an attempt at a hefty poke at the boobs… 🙈 And also asking what my bra is and whether he can have one of his own (I tell him that when he’s a grownup he can wear whatever he likes and that seems to placate him 😂). All at maximum volume, naturally. He never asks these sorts of questions at home, of course, even though we’re a fairly relaxed family about getting changed in front of one another and so on 🙄

Atethehalloweenchocs · 20/02/2023 11:06

The mixed race children in my extended family decided black and white were silly titles as people were more pink and brown. I came back from a year in Australia with a very deep tan, and the changing room was treated to a loud discussion about which bits of me were pink and which were brown.

LakeTiticaca · 20/02/2023 11:13

So cute 😍 I love hearing small children's conversations with each other xx

Mariposista · 20/02/2023 11:43

RosetteNebula · 20/02/2023 05:08

My 4 year old DD is going through a fascination with pregnancy/childbirth and keeps asking if she can see/take pictures of my uterus and vagina. I told her we definitely aren't going to do that 😂. My mother is horrified as she still uses euphemisms at 60.

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA this is brilliant. Maybe she will be a future midwife.

BessieSurtees · 20/02/2023 12:05

iamnottoofatiamjusttooshort · 20/02/2023 10:50

I came out of a public toilet to find my daughter and granddaughter already waiting for me

GD shouts at top of her voice

" clever girl nanny! You done a poo ! " started clapping and looking round at the other ladies washing and drying hands as if to say " clap nanny done a poo "

They did 🤭😂

😂😂😂😂This has killed me I'm laughing like Mutley trying not to draw attention to myself

catscatscurrantscurrants · 20/02/2023 12:06

I'm crying with laughing at these.

Scalottia · 20/02/2023 12:08

Woodendonkey · 19/02/2023 22:05

My 3 year old saw me put in a tampon the other day (I was trying to be discreet but clearly failed):“Mummy what have you got in your bum? Mummy what have you got? Mummy what’s that in your bum?”
Over and over while I tried to decide what to say

it’s not hard. Just tell them

and all these ‘floppy bottoms’ and ‘hairy bottoms’ - do none of you talk to kids about body parts? It’s shocking.

Yeah this whole thread is 🤔

Pricklyheath · 20/02/2023 12:19

Scalottia · 20/02/2023 12:08

Yeah this whole thread is 🤔

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So you've read a whole thread that you don't approve of?
Whose the fool?

TheOrigRights · 20/02/2023 12:27

Pricklyheath · 20/02/2023 12:19

So you've read a whole thread that you don't approve of?
Whose the fool?

Show quote history

I don't think it's disapproval, more that the OP was retelling a sweet, overheard anecdote, but the thread (very quickly) moved into (still mostly sweet) embarrassing things kids say.
They're funny, but not in the same vein as the OP.

sashh · 20/02/2023 13:15

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 20/02/2023 05:14

DS (14) is constantly disappointed that he doesn't need glasses, ever since his best friend age 8 has star wars themed ones.

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Get him some cheap frames or some clear ones. You can get them online for about £5.

Scalottia · 20/02/2023 13:51

TheOrigRights · 20/02/2023 12:27

I don't think it's disapproval, more that the OP was retelling a sweet, overheard anecdote, but the thread (very quickly) moved into (still mostly sweet) embarrassing things kids say.
They're funny, but not in the same vein as the OP.

Show quote history

Yes @Pricklyheath sorry for going into a thread which started off amusingly enough and then descended into...something else. My crystal ball is obviously malfunctioning.

Also I didn't read it all, I have better things to do with my time than to read hilarious anecdotes about tampon insertion and their child's comments regarding that.

WalkingOnTheCracks · 20/02/2023 14:02

@Scalottia

"I didn't read it all, I have better things to do with my time than to read hilarious anecdotes about tampon insertion and their child's comments regarding that."

Ooh, do you? What?!

Scalottia · 20/02/2023 14:14

WalkingOnTheCracks · 20/02/2023 14:02

@Scalottia

"I didn't read it all, I have better things to do with my time than to read hilarious anecdotes about tampon insertion and their child's comments regarding that."

Ooh, do you? What?!

Why do you want to know, are you bored and looking for inspiration? I am off to find an interesting thread now, I don't think this one needs further derailing (sorry OP! For what it's worth I found your story amusing).

Spudlet · 20/02/2023 16:49

Hey, sorry that my autistic child’s vocabulary, gained after thousands of pounds worth of speech therapy, hasn’t always been up to mumsnet standards 🙄

OdeToBarney · 20/02/2023 17:25

ImprobablePuffin · 20/02/2023 00:10

DD: Aunty L is so pretty
Me: Hmm yeah she is.
DD: So had grandma used up all the good bits by the time it got to you?
Me: 😵

Absolutely brutal 😫 🤣

Runwayw · 20/02/2023 18:02

I was in a busy supermarket with DD3 and she kept pulling up my skirt so I said ‘stop doing that please, I don’t want people to see my knickers’ and she very loudly replied ‘but you’re not wearing any knickers mummy!’- I was most definitely wearing knickers!

purplebunny2012 · 20/02/2023 18:09

Leafblow · 19/02/2023 21:56

I overheard from the cubicle next to mine,

Mum your bottom is really big
Thanks Rory
Its bigger than my whole head
Thanks Rory
Your bottom won't fit in my shorts
Well thats why I have my own shorts
Yes..big shorts...to put your BIG bum in
Yep thanks Rory.

I just let my 10YO read that, he was in hysterics!

Becgoz7 · 20/02/2023 18:10

Plainlyme · 19/02/2023 22:32

When one of my DC saw their dad in the bath "why does daddy have 2 willy's?" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Why does he 🤣

Redebs · 20/02/2023 18:11

purplebunny2012 · 20/02/2023 18:09

I just let my 10YO read that, he was in hysterics!

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I bet. It's brilliant!

Morgysmum · 20/02/2023 18:12

My son, said to me in public loo. Mummy you don't have a Willy, I was no I am a girl, I don't have a Willy, I have boobies. Boys have willy's girls don't. He was 2.

TesticleMeElmo · 20/02/2023 18:16

Here it was ‘Mummy, why have you got Daddy hair??’
(Dh is quite hairy. Apparently so am I 😂)

Twittens · 20/02/2023 18:24

In swimming pool cubicle with then 4 year old DD… and quite heavily pregnant…. ‘not fair!’
Me: what’s not fair?
DD: you get all the fluff on your girl bits and I get none!
Me: well you will have some when you are older
DD: I want some now! And I’m not getting dressed until you give me some of yours!!
Me: that isn’t how it works you aren’t allowed to touch or have other people’s fluff, you have to grow your own… sniggering coming from all surrounding cubicles…
DD: shouting Auntie Sarah can you hear my mum! She is so unfair! She won’t give me any of her fluff! (Auntie Sarah heard laughing so much from her cubicle that I think she might collapse)
Random voice from another cubicle: you have my fluff love, I’m forever trying to get rid of the stuff!! Cackling laughter…
DD: see! That lady is kind… she shares her fluff!
we made a swift exit… with the promise of cheesy chips…

Panjandrum123 · 20/02/2023 18:27

Soft play with a friend, my two DC, her two DC. Footage on the TVs in there of storms in the US. Eldest DS (maybe 8 or 9) has a bad habit of not reading words properly, and just guessing at them. Very loudly says “Look mummy, there’s a tornado in Vagina”

That’ll be Virginia you meant then…

princesspeppax · 20/02/2023 18:31

My then 4ish y/o DD loudly in asda "Mummy look!!! Your nappys!!!" Sanitary towels Hmm

Escapingmadness · 20/02/2023 18:33

My DD was small and reading the graffiti on the walls in the pool changing rooms after lessons. She pointed to the F word written in full capital letter glory and I made some lazy excuse about not knowing what it said......
.....when she piped up "I know how to work it out Mummy. Fuh....Uhhh....

You know the rest!!!

All the others Mum's thought it was hilarious!