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Original poster

Over heard in the swimming pool changing room today

302 replies

BankOfMaeve · 19/02/2023 20:39

This made me smile so much.

Two small kids chatting to one another in the next cubicle after their swim.

they were clearly very impressed by the skills of a slightly older child.

“I think she’s a proper swimmer, she has one of those things on her head to cover her hair like they do in the Olympics, and she’s wearing a yellow band, which means she gets to stay in longer than us. She must be training for the Olympics.”

All this at a regular splash and play session in the council pool!

OP posts:
thenightsky · 19/02/2023 21:51

'Mummy, the skin under your arms is so soft and dangly'

BarbaraVineFan · 19/02/2023 21:52

My 3 year old DD to me in a public toilet today:
DD(fondly): I love your bottom mummy... It's so big and lovely

Leafblow · 19/02/2023 21:56

I overheard from the cubicle next to mine,

Mum your bottom is really big
Thanks Rory
Its bigger than my whole head
Thanks Rory
Your bottom won't fit in my shorts
Well thats why I have my own shorts
Yes..big shorts...to put your BIG bum in
Yep thanks Rory.

ilovepixie · 19/02/2023 21:56

chickbean · 19/02/2023 21:44

Overheard in the toilets.

Mum: Why are you wearing three pairs of pants?

Little boy: I like pants.

Aw that is so cute.

Cookerhood · 19/02/2023 22:01

"Why do you have a beard on your bottom?"

imisscashmere · 19/02/2023 22:02

My 3 year old saw me put in a tampon the other day (I was trying to be discreet but clearly failed):

“Mummy what have you got in your bum? Mummy what have you got? Mummy what’s that in your bum?”

Over and over while I tried to decide what to say 😂

2tired2bewitty · 19/02/2023 22:02

Wearily from another service station toilet cubicle “And at what point did you realise you didn’t have your shoes on?” 😱😄

Slothsandspiderman · 19/02/2023 22:05

My mate’s daughter who was three at the time “eeee mam you’ve got a lovely git big hairy tuppence”. I still giggle at it now - 22 years later

Woodendonkey · 19/02/2023 22:05

My 3 year old saw me put in a tampon the other day (I was trying to be discreet but clearly failed):“Mummy what have you got in your bum? Mummy what have you got? Mummy what’s that in your bum?”
Over and over while I tried to decide what to say

it’s not hard. Just tell them

and all these ‘floppy bottoms’ and ‘hairy bottoms’ - do none of you talk to kids about body parts? It’s shocking.

Solow12 · 19/02/2023 22:07

Love these!
My son loves to shout at the top of his voice “Mummy I can see your VULVA!!!” Whenever we use public loos.
My daughter used to shout “Mummy are you doing a poo?” And then go to open the door before I’d finished pulling my pants up 🙄
One of my favourites was in the shower, shaving my legs… “You’re taking your fur off!” 🤣

Nimbostratus100 · 19/02/2023 22:07

overheard from the toilet cubicle next door ....

"sweetheart - theres no loo roll in here, can you get me some from another toilet and pass it under the door please?"

"yes mummy - do you want one mouthful or two?"

Christmaspyjamas · 19/02/2023 22:14

Got to go in Classics this thread already

AGoldenNarwhal · 19/02/2023 22:14

A few weeks ago, I overhead a mum and three kids (baby, toddler and older child) in a family cubicle near us. Baby screaming her head off. The mum calmly says to the other children, 'Just wait while I feed her'. Screaming stops.

Mum to oldest child. 'Don't pick your nose'. Child starts screaming, 'I'm bleeding, there's blood everyone'. Mum says calmly, 'Put your head back and pinch your nose.' Mum to younger child 'Don't step in it.' Sound of slipping. 'Are you ok? Wait there love while I wipe it off you.'

Mum to younger child, 'Don't jump on the bench'... 'Don't jump on your sister, her nose is bleeding'...'Don't look under the side, love, there's someone next door'.

Mum to younger child, 'Don't open the door, love, we're not wearing our clothes'... 'Oh you've opened the door sweetie, can you shut it again? I'm not sure everyone wants to see us with no clothes on'.

Older child 'I think the bleeding's stopped.' Mum to older child 'Can you wipe the floor with your towel?.' Child does this. Mum to child 'I think that's my scarf.'

Mum to toddler 'Come over here so we can get you dressed'. Then, 'no don't put your bottoms on the floor, there's a puddle there.' To older child, 'Can you get the spare bottoms out of the bag?'

A couple of minutes later, 'Great baby's all done, let's go find daddy and tell the people at the desk about the blood. Did you have fun today? Do you want to come again?'

I aspire to that level of zen as a parent.

Jumpersaurus · 19/02/2023 22:15

My 3 yo daughter to her daddy in a family cubicle while he was trying to change discreetly and quickly - "Daddy why is your vulva like that?" She was fascinated apparently and wouldn't let it go until he bribed her with ice cream - the fact he's a massive prude just makes it more hilarious 😆

Perfectpeonies · 19/02/2023 22:16

I once had to use the loo quite urgently in a department store. A child and their mum came in and the child asked why they were in the men’s. The mum replied “we’re not, we’re in the ladies” to which the child exclaimed “but it smells like the men’s” 🙈

bewilderedhedgehog · 19/02/2023 22:17

AGoldenNarwhal · 19/02/2023 22:14

A few weeks ago, I overhead a mum and three kids (baby, toddler and older child) in a family cubicle near us. Baby screaming her head off. The mum calmly says to the other children, 'Just wait while I feed her'. Screaming stops.

Mum to oldest child. 'Don't pick your nose'. Child starts screaming, 'I'm bleeding, there's blood everyone'. Mum says calmly, 'Put your head back and pinch your nose.' Mum to younger child 'Don't step in it.' Sound of slipping. 'Are you ok? Wait there love while I wipe it off you.'

Mum to younger child, 'Don't jump on the bench'... 'Don't jump on your sister, her nose is bleeding'...'Don't look under the side, love, there's someone next door'.

Mum to younger child, 'Don't open the door, love, we're not wearing our clothes'... 'Oh you've opened the door sweetie, can you shut it again? I'm not sure everyone wants to see us with no clothes on'.

Older child 'I think the bleeding's stopped.' Mum to older child 'Can you wipe the floor with your towel?.' Child does this. Mum to child 'I think that's my scarf.'

Mum to toddler 'Come over here so we can get you dressed'. Then, 'no don't put your bottoms on the floor, there's a puddle there.' To older child, 'Can you get the spare bottoms out of the bag?'

A couple of minutes later, 'Great baby's all done, let's go find daddy and tell the people at the desk about the blood. Did you have fun today? Do you want to come again?'

I aspire to that level of zen as a parent.

This has just made my day! Brilliant thread - thank you everyone x

Namechange44000 · 19/02/2023 22:18

My DS used to say loudly “Mummy where is your Willy?” “But why don’t you have a Willy Mummy?!”
He was only about 2 and I did explain that women don’t have willys but he still asked every time. He once said he felt sorry for me that I didn’t have a Willy.

OzzyOzworn · 19/02/2023 22:19

Mummy you said girls don’t have a penis but I just saw yours……curvy inner labia folk will know the struggle….:/

Justturnitoffandonagain · 19/02/2023 22:19

In the very busy public toilets of a shopping mall with my then 3 year old daughter. 'Mummy why you got dirts in your knickers?' very loudly.
It was the tail end of my period, I had a liner on that has a small amount of blood on it 😂

OzzyOzworn · 19/02/2023 22:20

Woodendonkey · 19/02/2023 22:05

My 3 year old saw me put in a tampon the other day (I was trying to be discreet but clearly failed):“Mummy what have you got in your bum? Mummy what have you got? Mummy what’s that in your bum?”
Over and over while I tried to decide what to say

it’s not hard. Just tell them

and all these ‘floppy bottoms’ and ‘hairy bottoms’ - do none of you talk to kids about body parts? It’s shocking.

Angry grumpy mummy 😂

ReluctantCourier · 19/02/2023 22:22

DH (my DC’s@ stepdad) ‘can you step out please I’m going to be naked’ DD (casually) ‘I don’t mind’ 😅

Fireflies23 · 19/02/2023 22:26

My friends son talking to my daughter a tad loudly as we came out the toilets. “My mums got a really hairy bum” My daughter replies “so has my mum” Mortified.

BettyBoopy · 19/02/2023 22:26

imisscashmere · 19/02/2023 22:02

My 3 year old saw me put in a tampon the other day (I was trying to be discreet but clearly failed):

“Mummy what have you got in your bum? Mummy what have you got? Mummy what’s that in your bum?”

Over and over while I tried to decide what to say 😂

same situation with my two year old this weekend... What did you say to yours?? Such a weird conversation

22qtutor · 19/02/2023 22:27

When my dd was about 3 she was obsessed with Winnie the Pooh and Eeyore. She was getting changed with her dad in the cubicle next to me and in an approving tone I heard "I like your tail, Daddy."

😂😂😂

katmarie · 19/02/2023 22:27

Oh god, this was me today. In the cubicle with two dc after swimming. Ds pulls up his tshirt.
'Mummy, what are these?'
'Your nipples, ds'

'Mummy, what are those?' Poke.
'My nipples ds'
'Mummy, why are yours like that' poke 'and mine are like this?'
'Ds I really don't want to talk about my nipples just now! Get dressed.'

And heard in the next cubicle 'child, can you please stop singing the same verse of old macdonald over and over again, it's getting annoying!'

My two kids walked out singing old macdonald, I hope that woman didn't think we were taking the piss!