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Original poster

Was this nurse rude?

223 replies

Littlestdove · 18/02/2023 11:25

I want to preface this by saying I am in pain so that’s not helping but yesterday I went to A and E with pain under my right rib cage- I believe it could be my gallbladder as I have a polyp and both my parents have had theirs removed . It was an extreme stabbing pain that took my breath away. My blood pressure was 170/90 and I just felt awful. No temp tho.

I was given morphine and some buscopan and then told they couldn’t ultrasound my gallbladder until the morning so they’d send me home with strong painkillers and to come back to A and E if my ultrasound showed any stones and the polyp.

So que to this morning, I’ve been up all night in agony trying to make it through to my ultrasound. Ultrasound shows stone and polyp. I rebook into A and E and first thing the nurse triaging says is

”back again? You’ve been in no end lately”

so I said, well yes I was in yesterday and told to rebook in if I was still in pain and my ultrasound showed a stone and polyp.

”You do know you can see your GP for Abdominal issues?”

and I said yes, I realise that however it was a sudden intense pain

”Well I’m just letting you know for further information”

meh. I’m sat here in pain and now just feel like a time waster.

OP posts:
viques · 18/02/2023 12:05

ProtectorExtraordinaryOfTheCantonsOfNim · 18/02/2023 11:57

So your argument is that she should completely ignore what she was explicitly told in A&E yesterday (to come back to A and E if the ultrasound shows stones / polyp)?

Show quote history

It depends what the a and e planned to do doesn’t it? I can’t see that they would have been able to do more than offer more pain killers. If of course they had a surgical team sitting doing nothing on a Saturday morning that’s another matter entirely.

8fttrampoline · 18/02/2023 12:05

Reminds me of the A&E Doctor who told me with a very patronising look on his face that my child really wasn't that ill. I said he was, and he was completely unlike himself and he told me that they see really sick children and he wasn't....he ended up on a ventilator 24 hours later and it was touch. I wish that I had had the confidence to challenge him back then, but I went against my instinct and went home.

I think that doctors and nurses in A&E are so overworked that they can sometimes lose their empathy and bedside manner, and this can be dangerous for patients.

CoorieInByTheFire · 18/02/2023 12:08

abmac95 · 18/02/2023 11:31

How did you get to hospital though? Is your pain so severe that you called an ambulance and they took you to hospital? Did you pass out? If you answered no to both of these questions them imo you don't need to be at a & e. Thats probably what the nurse was meaning. Is it that bad that you are passing out, can't walk or talk? a & e stands for accident and emergency. you don't sound like you fit either category from what you have said and the fact that you are well enough to be posting om mumsnet about it.

and to come back to A and E if my ultrasound showed any stones and the polyp.

So que to this morning, I’ve been up all night in agony trying to make it through to my ultrasound. Ultrasound shows stone and polyp. I rebook into A and E

Did you miss this very pertinent part of the OP’s post? She was doing exactly as advised. Also, unrelenting pain is very much a reason to go to A&E.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General health
iklboo · 18/02/2023 12:09

It depends what the a and e planned to do doesn’t it? I can’t see that they would have been able to do more than offer more pain killers. If of course they had a surgical team sitting doing nothing on a Saturday morning that’s another matter entirely.

A&E can & does make decisions to admit to a ward or for surgery. I went to A&E with suspected appendicitis, was examined and admitted within an hour or so. Taken to theatre at 1 am.

Daffodilsandtuplips · 18/02/2023 12:11

abmac95 · 18/02/2023 11:31

How did you get to hospital though? Is your pain so severe that you called an ambulance and they took you to hospital? Did you pass out? If you answered no to both of these questions them imo you don't need to be at a & e. Thats probably what the nurse was meaning. Is it that bad that you are passing out, can't walk or talk? a & e stands for accident and emergency. you don't sound like you fit either category from what you have said and the fact that you are well enough to be posting om mumsnet about it.

Sorry, you’re wrong. Many conditions can come on suddenly without passing out or being unable to talk, my dh would be dead now if I’d followed your mantra, He’d had a stroke yet made me a cuppa, went downstairs, boiled the kettle, made the tea, poured two cups out and carried them upstairs without spilling a drop. It was when Inwas talking to him I noticed his mouth drooped ever so slightly. Something wasn’t right. 999 call, didn’t even try 111. During lockdown too.

Hbh17 · 18/02/2023 12:11

Doesn't sound rude at all, just honest. It is hard for staff when A& E is full of people who don't need to be there.

CalloohCallayFrabjousDay · 18/02/2023 12:13

abmac95 · 18/02/2023 11:31

How did you get to hospital though? Is your pain so severe that you called an ambulance and they took you to hospital? Did you pass out? If you answered no to both of these questions them imo you don't need to be at a & e. Thats probably what the nurse was meaning. Is it that bad that you are passing out, can't walk or talk? a & e stands for accident and emergency. you don't sound like you fit either category from what you have said and the fact that you are well enough to be posting om mumsnet about it.

Have you ever experienced gallstones?
Just because you didn't arrive in an ambulance doesn't mean it's not an emergency.

Thecaravan · 18/02/2023 12:16

It's astonishing reading this how many people are like, yep, you're not dying, you don't need a and e; you can breathe unaided, you're fine, stay at home. Basic health care for severe pain shouldn't depend on whether you're about to keel over and die. I think at times people forget how scary it feels to be in a lot of pain and not know why. I don't live in the UK anymore but it worries me for my elderly parents how much people are willing to tolerate. You pay for this system. It's not free and if you're in pain, you should expect to be treated, and treated with respect.

MrsSkylerWhite · 18/02/2023 12:16

Viques

It depends what the a and e planned to do doesn’t it? I can’t see that they would have been able to do more than offer more pain killers. If of course they had a surgical team sitting doing nothing on a Saturday morning that’s another matter entirely.”

They could admit her to appropriate ward for obs until surgery.

UpendedPineapple · 18/02/2023 12:17

Your gallbladder can become infected or the stones can pass and block your bile duct. So gallbladder pain is an emergency!

You were right and the nurse was possibly a grump.

Thecaravan · 18/02/2023 12:17

And yes I know it's hyperbole, but it's post after post on MN of people who feel awful and are told they shouldn't waste a doctor's time.

Original poster
Littlestdove · 18/02/2023 12:19

@ÉireannachÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉ

Just to answer some questions. My dad drove me to a and e yesterday because an ambulance was going to be 4 hours or more and I would be seen quicker if I got there quicker.

I’ve just been told that I’m going to be taken over to another hospital to the surgical assessment ward.

My pain is managed yes now by Oramorph and codeine but yesterday I was on all fours mooing like a cow and screaming in pain. It was worst than parts of labour.

Nearly everyone in here has their phone in their hand or some form of device. Others have magazines and some have had a 22 hour wait.

I don’t want the nurse to be fired of course but it’s horrible to be spoken to and made to feel like you’re a nuisance.

My polyp is actually measuring at over 10mm and needs to be removed as it could become cancerous as did my mums.

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 18/02/2023 12:20

They told OP

come back to A and E if my ultrasound showed any stones and the polyp

This is why the OP has gone to A&E for those who have missed it.

Xol · 18/02/2023 12:22

abmac95 · 18/02/2023 11:31

How did you get to hospital though? Is your pain so severe that you called an ambulance and they took you to hospital? Did you pass out? If you answered no to both of these questions them imo you don't need to be at a & e. Thats probably what the nurse was meaning. Is it that bad that you are passing out, can't walk or talk? a & e stands for accident and emergency. you don't sound like you fit either category from what you have said and the fact that you are well enough to be posting om mumsnet about it.

This is utter nonsense. Of course A&E is not restricted to those who can only get in by ambulance and are passing out. Think about what "accident" means.

BellyDancer124 · 18/02/2023 12:27

Sorry that happened to you OP. I would definitely report her.

loobylou10 · 18/02/2023 12:28

@viques your sarcasm is embarrassing - OP did as she was told, to go back. Why be so horrible when she is clearly upset and in immense pain.

Xol · 18/02/2023 12:28

viques · 18/02/2023 11:43

Well A and E aren’t going to be able to whip your gall bladder out while you are lying in cubicle three are they? I am not sure what you want them to do, surely you need to be getting your gp to follow through on the a and e diagnosis, pushing for a referral to the gastro intestinal team and topping up the pain killers.

You do realise, don't you, that A&E don't just shrug their shoulders and send people away if they have a condition that can't be treated in cubicle 3? That they can make a judgment about, say, immediately admitting the patient or referring to a specialist for urgent assessment?

Honestly, people on here have the most bizarre and indeed dangerous perceptions of what A&E is for.

Xol · 18/02/2023 12:30

PacificallyRequested · 18/02/2023 12:00

I don't think she was rude. Of course she should point out to people that they maybe don't need to be in A&E!

Not really, when the patient is telling her that a doctor expressly told her to come back.

pizzaHeart · 18/02/2023 12:32

You were told to come back and you were in pain, it’s an emergency situation. She was rude and unprofessional. She wasn’t making a chit chat she deliberately made a point that you should have gone to GP instead of A&E.
Hope you’ll get better soon.

Xol · 18/02/2023 12:33

viques · 18/02/2023 12:05

It depends what the a and e planned to do doesn’t it? I can’t see that they would have been able to do more than offer more pain killers. If of course they had a surgical team sitting doing nothing on a Saturday morning that’s another matter entirely.

Show quote history

The thing is, big hospitals tend to organise their shifts in recognition of the fact that emergencies don't keep conveniently to weekday working hours. You can't send someone who needs urgent surgery away because it's a Saturday morning. Maybe the doctor who saw OP recognised that, if the ultrasound showed serious problems, they would need to be addressed urgently?

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 18/02/2023 12:34

Good luck OP, I hope the surgical assessment ward can help you. It's awful being in pain, the nurse was rude imo, you had been following the instructions given to you, so she had no place to comment.

Floralnomad · 18/02/2023 12:38

I think that doctors and nurses in A&E are so overworked that they can sometimes lose their empathy and bedside manner, and this can be dangerous for patients
This is bollocks , some people are just rude and in the wrong job .

Dymaxion · 18/02/2023 12:43

Sounds as though she mixed you up in her mind with someone else @Littlestdove ?

"back again? You’ve been in no end lately” doesn't describe you or your situation does it ?

If you had been in no end lately I could understand her wanting to signpost you to other more appropriate services, but once and then returning as medics advised is hardly no end is it ?

Try not to take it to heart, you did the right thing going in the first place, the right thing following the advice and I hope you get sorted soon Flowers

TomatoSandwiches · 18/02/2023 12:46

She sounds more awkward than rude but I could imagine it wouldn't the nicest thing to hear whilst in pain.

I have had someone say something similar with a snippy tone to me in regard to my sons admissions before and I quite bluntly told them if they have an issue with it to take it up with the consultant who's orders I was following and to leave me alone.

lamaze1 · 18/02/2023 12:53

Yea she was rude. Ignore the people saying you shouldn't have gone to a&e. I've had 2 similar instances with triage nurses at a&e (presented once for each issue) who were completely in the wrong.

1st in agony. Had been told by another department I had an ectopic and to go straight to a&e if I developed certain symptoms out of hours. I did, only to be told I ought to go home because they wouldn't scan me or be able to do anything just "because I wanted a scan" despite barely being able to stand. Gynae attended, established I was bleeding internally and I was admitted and taken into surgery.

2nd was feeling unwell, dizzy out of breath. Didn't feel at deaths door. Felt silly requesting nhs gp appt so booked a private one near work to ease my mind. Said GP did ecg have me the print out and said to go straight to a&e. I went in my own. Triage nurse scoffed at the report and left me in waiting room for hours (I was scrolling my phone, probably also posting on Mumsnet). When I was taken through to next stage an hour or two later all hell broke loose and I ended up in resus and thereafter admitted onto cardiology unit as I had a problem with my heart.

My long winded point is. It's dangerous for people to be saying. Oh if you can text, stand, walk. Do xyz you're not that ill. It's because of attitudes like that, and those triage nurses I encountered that I've always been reluctant to attend a&e when I was right to go!