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What is going on with MN?

259 replies

AdamRyan · 17/02/2023 08:29

I used to find it a very refreshing and supportive place to discuss the absolute crap that women put up with in all areas of life. It helped me recognise and start questioning abusive behaviours by mu ex. I think its invaluable to women from that perspective.
Over the past few months though, it appears to have changed

  • posts about men "needing" sex when their partner isn't up for it and saying women will only have themselves to blame if their partner has an affair because they aren't getting enough sex
  • posts suggesting aggression is a reasonable response to not enough sex
  • endless endless "women do it too"/"NAMALT"/"not my nigel" on any thread about male violence
  • posters calling women stupid/illogical/rude for questioning the above
  • and now loads of sponsored threads about sex toys/"reigniting intimacy" when you've just given birth.

I'm starting to feel the whole tone of the site is becoming very patriarchal, which I never felt before. And it's making me sad. I want a space where I don't have to put mens penis wants first. Aaaaargh.

OP posts:
ThePixiesTookIt · 18/02/2023 11:48

EyesOnThePies · 17/02/2023 09:54

I am sure there are trolls from Reddit etc who play games, place bets with each other etc.

Plus changes in the site have changed the tone of the demography.

And size always seems to bring a more anonymous feel, where keyboard warriors can take pit shots without feeling accountable.

Whilst researching a subject the other day I ended up on a forum called overclockers, seems to be a gaming site but the mysogony on there is disgusting, although I was only on a few minutes, there was three separate posts about "Closing mumsnet down" and turning up here on mass. Big man babies.

GarlicGrace · 19/02/2023 01:42

I found your post self-contradictory, @SausageCat47.
You said "the focus on penises as a source of rape and focus on trans issues as misdirection from structural misogyny" and "issues relating to serious cases of sexual violence to misconduct, are never really discussed and increased focus on ‘men in changing rooms’ seems odd."

Rape, sexual predation & molestation are expressions of structural misogyny. So are "trans women's" ideas about what women are: it's all stereotyped femininity and sexual fetishisation. Not many of the men claiming to be women rush do all the unpaid, uncredited drudge & support work that falls on women, keep quiet when the males are talking, and accept 27% less pay!

Some old-school "trans women" do comprehend the real differences between female & male, know who and what they are, and even have a genuine interest in feminist issues. They are the few we didn't really have a problem with when they wanted to do their makeup in the ladies' loos. They would never intrude on women's rape survival groups, for instance, or fake being female in order to poke women's sex organs at a medical examination. There was what could best be called reserved tolerance on both sides.

The explosion in trans activism and all things "transgender" has ruined all that.

Feminism is grounded in a belief that women are fully functional, autonomous human beings just as men are, with different biology and, consequently, some different priorities. It isn't complicated. Neither is the glaringly obvious fact that gender is a set of social stereotypes attached to each sex, which is used to constrain the behaviours of both sexes and is taken to be a natural value system: one that down-values females and treats them as playthings or servants.

This is your structural misogyny. Women are oppressed because of our sex; gender is the justification for that oppression. Feminists therefore dissent to gender systems. I'm surprised you don't see the dots connecting?

GarlicGrace · 19/02/2023 01:46

@ThePixiesTookIt, yeah, overt misogyny is getting worse and more violent. Did you see Julie Burchill's piece in the Spectator last week? We are living through a golden age of misogyny

WinterDeWinter · 19/02/2023 15:59

GarlicGrace · 19/02/2023 01:42

I found your post self-contradictory, @SausageCat47.
You said "the focus on penises as a source of rape and focus on trans issues as misdirection from structural misogyny" and "issues relating to serious cases of sexual violence to misconduct, are never really discussed and increased focus on ‘men in changing rooms’ seems odd."

Rape, sexual predation & molestation are expressions of structural misogyny. So are "trans women's" ideas about what women are: it's all stereotyped femininity and sexual fetishisation. Not many of the men claiming to be women rush do all the unpaid, uncredited drudge & support work that falls on women, keep quiet when the males are talking, and accept 27% less pay!

Some old-school "trans women" do comprehend the real differences between female & male, know who and what they are, and even have a genuine interest in feminist issues. They are the few we didn't really have a problem with when they wanted to do their makeup in the ladies' loos. They would never intrude on women's rape survival groups, for instance, or fake being female in order to poke women's sex organs at a medical examination. There was what could best be called reserved tolerance on both sides.

The explosion in trans activism and all things "transgender" has ruined all that.

Feminism is grounded in a belief that women are fully functional, autonomous human beings just as men are, with different biology and, consequently, some different priorities. It isn't complicated. Neither is the glaringly obvious fact that gender is a set of social stereotypes attached to each sex, which is used to constrain the behaviours of both sexes and is taken to be a natural value system: one that down-values females and treats them as playthings or servants.

This is your structural misogyny. Women are oppressed because of our sex; gender is the justification for that oppression. Feminists therefore dissent to gender systems. I'm surprised you don't see the dots connecting?

Excellent post.

EverySporkIsSacred · 19/02/2023 18:57

@GarlicGrace 👏👏👏

ThePixiesTookIt · 20/02/2023 04:38

GarlicGrace · 19/02/2023 01:46

@ThePixiesTookIt, yeah, overt misogyny is getting worse and more violent. Did you see Julie Burchill's piece in the Spectator last week? We are living through a golden age of misogyny

Another brilliant piece by her, agree with every word.

RainbowZebraWarrior · 20/02/2023 09:20

I'm just going to leave this here. It's part of an 'appraisal' left by a bloke on the sex chat thread.

Apparently the women of Mumsnet are submissive and like rough sex

Yes, he has made that sweeping statement. And yeah, I'm majorly fucked off with it. The narrative that all women like being submissive and like rough sex is played out everywhere. Obviously it's in the endless porn available. And of course the 'rough sex' trope has infiltrated and perverted our legal system.

Again, it's misogyny personified. The pushing of boundaries and growing patriarchal narrative on a site largely used by women. A site of proud, fierce, independent, individual and often feminist women. Women who should not be reduced to 'ladies who like rough sex' in one sweeping statement.

Yes, I get that it's only one mans opinion. And of course NAMALT. But it's not uncommon. It is soaked into the bedrock of society, and I fear for my daughter navigating life in this porn addled age.

Let's also be honest and admit that this type of post if part of the kink, part of the power trip eh, MNHQ?

He also adds his surprise that all of the women he spoke to had been contacted by weird men. There are far more weird men than weird women apparently. No shit?

What is going on with MN?
AdamRyan · 20/02/2023 09:29

Bleurgh. That's gross.
I agree about the submissive/rough sex thing. Its disgusting how widely accepted that is and how its being used as a successful defence in rape/murder cases

OP posts:
GarlicGrace · 20/02/2023 09:44

He's happy to oblige and indulge "submissive" women by hurting them? What a prince.

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