The secret things you do that no-one else knows....

[Frt]

Every day that DP is out of the house at work, I buy an early-afternoon energy drink. They are rancid, sugary, unhealthy and downright common as muck but I absolutely love the buzz I get for the rest of the day. DP would be appalled with me if he found out 😅

My MN habit is a secret too. I don't have children, and I'm meant to have a professional, busy job which doesn't allow time for fucking about online. But here I am. I'm friends with a lot of women with young children who regularly talk about things being discussed on MN. I feign surprise or interest but I'm really thinking "Yeah, I saw that".

When I'm stressed and home alone, I talk to myself. I talk myself through what's getting me down, why, and what I need to do. I also reassure myself saying things like "Pull yourself together, it's fine, make a list and let's start at the top". I have no shame about this, I think its a perfectly normal thing to do. Except that I talk to myself in random accents. Today I went inexplicably scouse. My temporary foreign accent syndrome is the reason I keep this particularly activity a secret.

Tell me your secrets....

BTW, long-timer but NC just in case!

This has inspired me to dig out some tap shoes I bought years ago for adult lessons that never worked out- I forgot that YT could teach me now! I don't have a garage though!

I love this!!

Basically you're playing a more feminine version of dungeons and dragons

To @ladymacbeth and the other judgemental zealots asking why a secret cleaner, what goes on in my marriage is my business but since you ask:

My husband thinks a cleaner is a waste of money since he says "he can help with the cleaning". Only thing is, he's absolutely useless at cleaning.

I have a full on full time job and already have to do laundry/cooking/tidying up, etc. I don't want to spend the very little free time I have scrubbing a bathroom or hoovering (I have a bad back and a dodgy knee).

We are in a comfortable position now after years of struggle, both have good jobs so we can afford a cleaner and I will absolutely carry on paying for one while I can and I have zero qualms about that, no fucks given at all.

Hope that helps x

I sing songs about what I'm doing at the time.

A couple of weeks ago I was singing to myself, something to do with needing a saucepan for my beans, and then there being mould on the bread.

Forgot the window was wide open and finished to the sound of next doors builder pissing themselves laughing!

I love how many grown-ups still run up the stairs on all fours! I do it too. This has made me happy.

Omg I love you people. I've not had time to read this properly because I shouldn't be on here (shhhhh). I'm not sure if this counts but if DH pisses me off I dance behind the door doing finger swearing, this includes doing a sixties style dance like Austin Powers where you move the sweary fingers across your eyes, sometimes I get inventive and do new moves. Probably look about 10 but it's a great feeling. Haven't been caught yet.
I always run upstairs when I'm alone, as if charging like a bull.
When I'm alone doing circuit style exercises I sometimes get distracted and pretend I'm a ballet dancer (I've been known to do this when Swan lake comes on the radio when nobody is there).
I'm a secret sporner corner lurker, feigning disgust at popping spots vids but really I'm salivating 😂

Me and DP voice the cats and the birds/squirrels we see in the garden. It's great fun, especially when they do something really stupid.

I make up new words to songs and sing them, usually to the cats. Both my DC do this too, it makes me so happy.

On a less healthy note I occasionally revisit my teenage bulimia when very stressed and binge and/or purge. DP would be v cross and worried if he knew.

And I talk to animals and plants, hadn't thought of addressing the house, but I probably will now. I'm more woo than I let on in real life but too cynical to fit in with properly woo people. So I woo on my own. I might let DD in on it, she's a bit fae so i reckon she'dbe up for it.

I play an App game on my phone- for the last 7 years, quite a high level now & part of a neighbourhood leadership. Play for 10mins most lunchtimes & put it to bed at night.

The motivation was definitely the fun of painting it, the prank was just an impulsive add-on. After he got over the fright I made him admire my brushwork!

Can you adopt me?? I want to play too. You sound like a great mum.

My dream was always to own a barbie dream house and loads of different barbies with cute outfits and in-depth back stories. Obviously, as an adult, I feel this would be judged somewhat.

My secret is that my neighbour goes in her garden to smoke and always uses that time to send long rambling voice notes. Shes always ranting about random stuff and her life seems full of dramas. If i hear her back door go, I crack open my window to hear what she's saying 🤣 it's usually way juicier than eastenders.

I read this somewhere a couple of years ago, and started doing it.
When l come into the house, l shout "Hello!" (I live alone). Then when l'm leaving, before l open the front door l say "Thank you, house! Love you!"
It's meant to mean you'll be happy in your home. Going okay so far.

I do this too!

I also voice my dog. He is a rather lazy rescue dog with dark markings over his eyes (like large painted on eyebrows) who for some reason speaks in the voice of Sean Connery. He's a sarcastic sod and gets quite uppity when he is called by the name that the rest of the family know him by [ie his actual name] and not his [fictional] full name.

Only DH knows about this.

This sounds wonderful, can you keep us updated with the developing drama ? I still chat to my teddy, knocked her over the other day when I was tidying my bedroom and was most apologetic to her. Made sure she was sitting properly and feeling comfy, thinking I should get her a companion and set them up with some adventures

LMAO! Love this :D

I don't get chance to eat at work so every day mon - fri I get a double cheeseburger from the McDonald's on the way to pick the kids up from school. I've collected loads of points on the app!

"Today I went inexplicably scouse" almost made me spit out my cuppa 😂

You should make YouTube videos of all this. People love that kind of thing!

@SpaceJamtart Why wouldn't you tell anyone, that is absolutely lovely!

I secretly learn hip hop dance moves from YouTube videos.

My neighbour does my grown up, but still living at home, children’s big laundry items (bedding, towels)- and I pay her out of their keep.
No one knows apart from me and my neighbour. She needs the money and I need the help. Before anyone says they should do their own - I know but I couldn’t make them and I hate having dirty laundry hanging about and smelling!

I drink 2 bottles of beer and cry for my dad; I'm 53, and he died 4 years ago, but I cry most days in secret. I also talk to my cat in different accents and address him as "my dear young friend". And eat Dr Oetker pizza in secret.

lovelypidgeon · Today 14:44

Only DH knows about this.

And now, the whole of the internet!

MeinKraft · Today 14:51

You should make YouTube videos of all this. People love that kind of thing!

Oh God, Elsa and Arnia (spelled Anna) was a thing my daughter loved for about a year!

I do a version of this! I wrap myself up in my towelling dressing gown, lie on my bed and go on Twitter. After about 10 mins I am dry and ready to get dressed.

I'm a soul girl myself but was just about to head off to the cock rock in anticipation