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Original poster

The secret things you do that no-one else knows....

596 replies

Frt · 16/02/2023 11:07

Every day that DP is out of the house at work, I buy an early-afternoon energy drink. They are rancid, sugary, unhealthy and downright common as muck but I absolutely love the buzz I get for the rest of the day. DP would be appalled with me if he found out 😅

My MN habit is a secret too. I don't have children, and I'm meant to have a professional, busy job which doesn't allow time for fucking about online. But here I am. I'm friends with a lot of women with young children who regularly talk about things being discussed on MN. I feign surprise or interest but I'm really thinking "Yeah, I saw that".

When I'm stressed and home alone, I talk to myself. I talk myself through what's getting me down, why, and what I need to do. I also reassure myself saying things like "Pull yourself together, it's fine, make a list and let's start at the top". I have no shame about this, I think its a perfectly normal thing to do. Except that I talk to myself in random accents. Today I went inexplicably scouse. My temporary foreign accent syndrome is the reason I keep this particularly activity a secret.

Tell me your secrets....

BTW, long-timer but NC just in case!

OP posts:
Deathraystare · 16/02/2023 14:59

@Biffatcrafts

I keep meaning to try that thing that is all over you tube where they put on concealer, Highlight, blusher and bronzer, them brush on their foundation and it all somehow merges in but I reckon when I do it it would look like a spotted cow! Plus no doubt the fire alarm would go off and I would emerge into the open with several colourful patches on me!!

TheLastDreamOfTheOak · 16/02/2023 15:01

I have Botox and fillers-no one has ever noticed or if they have they've never mentioned it and I don't tell anyone.

monkeymagical · 16/02/2023 15:01

Sometimes if I'm having a really bad day during the week, I go for lunch at a favourite restaurant order pasta and a massive tiramisu for dessert and have a few glasses of wine... and if DP asks what I had for lunch I just say I had a tuna salad or something at home. I also sometimes open a bottle of wine at home and watch rubbish netflix during the day while DP is at work if I'm feeling crap (I work freelance so I make up the work the following day when I'm feeling much better!) I don't tell anyone I do this!

TheLastDreamOfTheOak · 16/02/2023 15:02

And I sleep with one of dh's t shirts when he is away for work. I'm 43 (not 14)

katseyes7 · 16/02/2023 15:05

And I sleep with one of dh's t shirts when he is away for work. I'm 43 (not 14)

I've done this for years. When my OH was going away to work, we'd each wear something (t shirt or vest) for a few nights before he left, then swap them so we each had something with the other one's scent on it.
It's very comforting.

monkeymagical · 16/02/2023 15:06

@Mars27 I LOVE the secret cleaner!

CalpolDependant · 16/02/2023 15:06

I get up in the middle of the night to have alone time. I watched all of Modern Family this way, one episode a night with my AirPods in. Sometimes I have a poo, just to have one without any children around. I once gave myself a 3.30am haircut. Oh, and once I bought an artisanal scotch egg and left it hidden in my handbag until 3am and ate it in front of half an episode of The Crown.
It does make me a little tired sometimes, but it’s worth it. I’ve done it since my youngest was about 19mo and I don’t do it every night. I do know that it’s really really weird.

CalpolDependant · 16/02/2023 15:07

That should say “my oldest”

guess I’m just really tired. Haha

ChoccyJules · 16/02/2023 15:12

On my non work days I calculate back from the time I need to leave for school pick-up then go to bed and set the alarm for an hour.

Biffatcrafts · 16/02/2023 15:14

@Deathraystare I know the videos you mean, but I haven't tried it yet.

I did follow a UTube video of how to do Kim Kardashian style make-up - needless to say I looked absolutely nothing like her when it was finished 🤣🤣

Luckydog7 · 16/02/2023 15:15

watch rug cleaning videos (soooo satisfying)

buy a couple of scratch cards on the joint credit card then keep any winnings

(ages ago now) invested into bitcoin and cashed out making a few hundred pounds

match betting, again making a few hundred

read erotic gay (men only) manga

write fantasy stories that no-one will ever read. My current story is up to 40k words, two magic systems,

3 original magical races.

wax my tash, chin and side burns but don't bother to shave my legs

tell my oh i have done things with the kids when we have just sat at home on screens.

When oh works away i buy and scoff a massive Chinese takeaway and live off the left overs. He's only away a couple of times a year unfortunately...

Tell oh I'm tired and go to bed early but actually stay up reading/gaming on my phone

The house is usually filthy until about 10minutes before oh gets home.

I do work honest but it is freelance, flexible and from home so I can look after the kids before old enough for school and during holidays etc.

Botw1 · 16/02/2023 15:15

@Mars27

Why not just tell him though?

Or stop putting up with him being 'useless' at cleaning?

itsasecretnamechange · 16/02/2023 15:15

NC.
I do quite a lot of every day things that I don't tell friends about. I prefer doing some things on my own (there is a back story, but it's outting!). These are:
Losing weight
Going to the gym

No one knows that I:
Post on MN
Watch porn

I often tell my friend that I've 'just been at home today' when in fact I may have been out with my sister or into town alone etc. There are wider issues (from friend) which is why I don't tell reveal what I have been doing.

Luckydog7 · 16/02/2023 15:15

Oh and mukbang videos on you tube (google it, it's weird!)

WilsonMilson · 16/02/2023 15:17

SpaceJamtart · 16/02/2023 12:11

My daughters are very very into barbies, they take them very seriously, I never had them as a child but I loved playing with them at friends houses.
They ask me to play pretty much everyday and I love it, its so fun.
I wouldn't tell anyone in real life except my girls, but we have whole soap opera style backstories for the barbies and the stories roll over into the next day. We recently bought some action men from the charity shop to add more characters.

Currently Poppy is lying to Millie about who stole her purple handbag- it was actually her sister Rainbow who threw it in the stables because she was annoyed at her for not making enough spaghetti and meatballs for everyone at the birthday party etc

Its fully mad and I would never admit how much I actually enjoy it.

This is brilliant, what a great mum!

Original poster
Frt · 16/02/2023 15:21

CalpolDependant · 16/02/2023 15:06

I get up in the middle of the night to have alone time. I watched all of Modern Family this way, one episode a night with my AirPods in. Sometimes I have a poo, just to have one without any children around. I once gave myself a 3.30am haircut. Oh, and once I bought an artisanal scotch egg and left it hidden in my handbag until 3am and ate it in front of half an episode of The Crown.
It does make me a little tired sometimes, but it’s worth it. I’ve done it since my youngest was about 19mo and I don’t do it every night. I do know that it’s really really weird.

@CalpolDependant This made me laugh so much. It's just so.... glamorous.... dead of night stealth shitting, scotch eggs and DIY haircuts.

OP posts:
CatnaryReturns · 16/02/2023 15:21

once I bought an artisanal scotch egg and left it hidden in my handbag until 3am and ate it in front of half an episode of The Crown.

I love the indulgent luxury of the "artisanal" Scotch Egg, juxtaposed with the restraint of only watching half an episode of The Crown Grin

RagzRebooted · 16/02/2023 15:22

TheLastDreamOfTheOak · 16/02/2023 15:02

And I sleep with one of dh's t shirts when he is away for work. I'm 43 (not 14)

My Mum used to do this, I always thought it was really sweet.

Purplebunnie · 16/02/2023 15:22

Kissedbyfire1 · 16/02/2023 11:58

AC/DC, Led Zeppelin, Status Quo, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Aerosmith that sort of thing.

Show quote history

I raise you Nightwish, Sabaton and Within Temptation and I'm 65

Not a fan of Iron Maiden and AC/DC

Love a bit of Pink Floyd but then who doesn't

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 16/02/2023 15:23

I collect earrings. I have a couple of hundred pairs. They are loud, dangly, colourful, weird, small studs, sedate silver and emu thing else you can think of.
I wear them to reflect my mood, if I’m happy they are outlandish, the more muted and average they become the quieter and subdued I am. If I’m wearing studs I’m probably annoyed, if I don’t wear any earring at all, I’m hopping mad to the point I really don’t care about whatever it is I’m doing.
People just think I like earring - which I do.

bringincrazyback · 16/02/2023 15:27

Teelu · 16/02/2023 13:40

I still play Sims 2 instead of the more recent ones and play each family a Sim week at a time so they all age up together.

I have notebooks full of names for them when they have babies and I give them all middle names which I don't use in the game but are written down in different notebooks. When a teenager is about to age up they go to university and get assigned into random groups where they'll meet the sim they'll end up marrying and having a family with. I go through one year of each student group after doing the family weeks. Whenever a teen has moved out the family have another baby or adopt, basically until both parents have died so each family ends up with approximately 20 children in total.

I also have a spreadsheet which has all the Sims' names and addresses and keeps note of when they're born and when they die and I have another spreadsheet to see the most common names through all the Sims (the adopted children come with their own names but the ones I can name when they're born get completely random and sometimes totally OTT names, if I see an unusual name somewhere I write it down in a notebook for a future Sim).

I have more organisation for my Sims than I have for my own life. Blush

I love that someone else is a Sims nut! (albeit a different version of The Sims) I have a document in which I write possible names for future Sims, a spreadsheet shows true dedication though. 😄

I sometimes screenshot 'moments' in my Sims' 'lives' on my iPad, e.g. when they get married. I'd die of embarrassment if anyone decided to look through my photo cloud. 😂

RicciardoPerez · 16/02/2023 15:27

If I'm in a shitty mood, I go upstairs and talk in the mirror like Bruce Willis in Friends and tell myself "you're just a love machine" I even do the grunt!

TheNine · 16/02/2023 15:27

For many years I’ve had a full on fantasy alter-ego, a gorgeous and talented singer/dj who travels the world and has steamy flings with whichever celebrity I have a crush on at the time.
I’ve had this parallel universe inside my head for years, and never told a single soul about it!

SmokyForTheWin · 16/02/2023 15:28

Purplebunnie · 16/02/2023 15:22

I raise you Nightwish, Sabaton and Within Temptation and I'm 65

Not a fan of Iron Maiden and AC/DC

Love a bit of Pink Floyd but then who doesn't

Show quote history

I'm a left-leaning pacifist, support feminist issues etc but I love a bit of Rammstein while doing the housework. 😳

AliceTheeCamel · 16/02/2023 15:28

Denitiely partial to a WFH wank nap. I block out a slot in my work calendar with a fake meeting and set my online status to 'presenting' so no one calls me.

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