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Original poster

The secret things you do that no-one else knows....

596 replies

Frt · 16/02/2023 11:07

Every day that DP is out of the house at work, I buy an early-afternoon energy drink. They are rancid, sugary, unhealthy and downright common as muck but I absolutely love the buzz I get for the rest of the day. DP would be appalled with me if he found out 😅

My MN habit is a secret too. I don't have children, and I'm meant to have a professional, busy job which doesn't allow time for fucking about online. But here I am. I'm friends with a lot of women with young children who regularly talk about things being discussed on MN. I feign surprise or interest but I'm really thinking "Yeah, I saw that".

When I'm stressed and home alone, I talk to myself. I talk myself through what's getting me down, why, and what I need to do. I also reassure myself saying things like "Pull yourself together, it's fine, make a list and let's start at the top". I have no shame about this, I think its a perfectly normal thing to do. Except that I talk to myself in random accents. Today I went inexplicably scouse. My temporary foreign accent syndrome is the reason I keep this particularly activity a secret.

Tell me your secrets....

BTW, long-timer but NC just in case!

OP posts:
2point4kiddies · 28/02/2023 12:35

This is a great thread, I've loved reading it and also taken away some ideas of things I could do!
My biggest takeaway though is just how sad it is that just because we are adults, we are ashamed of doing these things that make us feel good or young or silly or fun, why do we have to feel so guilty or embarrassed??

HadEnoughNow1 · 28/02/2023 12:42

I do so many of these things! Especially the secret mumsnet user!

Sunshine275 · 28/02/2023 13:41

I go for a little snooze 😴 but yet I’ve been soooooo busy cleaning all day 😂

Nynynyny2018 · 28/02/2023 15:26

I enjoy a nap regularly . Husband now retired and I regularly go out in my car and park at local rec and sit in silence for half hour .

BillyNotQuiteNoMates · 28/02/2023 19:37

Only one person knows about this, but we book house viewings and come up with elaborate stories about why we need a huge, expensive house - to convert to a residential home/ a B&B/ lesbian lovers with 12 kids between us 😂😂

BigFatLiar · 28/02/2023 20:54

Nynynyny2018 · 28/02/2023 15:26

I enjoy a nap regularly . Husband now retired and I regularly go out in my car and park at local rec and sit in silence for half hour .

We often have nan & grandad naps in the afternoon.

As for the car we sometimes drive down to the seaside and sit and eat fish and chips in the car, its best when the weather's bad.

GhostBridezilla · 28/02/2023 21:40

Love the bra one. I love the smell of my bra at the wire. And notice how it changes with my pheromones over the month.

SimplyTheGuest · 28/02/2023 22:46

RicherThanYews · 16/02/2023 13:34

I was given a microwaveable plush thing that doubles as a sort of hot water bottle, it's a sheep design and she is 13 years old. I fell in love with her, she has a name, a voice, a personality (disorder) and has more clothes than me and my husband put together. It is known in my house that she is troublesome and the root cause of most disasters. I'm deciding whether I have room for a special miniature armchair or not. In my defence, I gave up drinking and smoking so I had to do something with my time.

Lol, I could have written this! Microwavable lamb, 12 years old, I love him & I tell him all my troubles 😂

Twospaniels · 04/03/2023 20:52

IrritableCowSyndrome · 16/02/2023 19:43

Whenever I'm doing something, I seem to count in my head.

I count how many stairs I'm going up or down, how many things I'm hanging on the washing line, how many times I stir something in a saucepan etc ...

I count things too. Lampposts as I drive along, up the stairs, down the stairs (to see if it’s the same). How many steps from office to printer, etc.

When adding loo rolls to the holder I have to put the one that’s left on the top so it gets used next as otherwise it’s ‘not fair’.
If there are 2 biscutis left, I have to eat both of them as it’s ‘not fair’ to leave one alone in the tin.
a lot of things like that

Peanuts2000 · 23/03/2023 13:46

Piecetocamera · 17/02/2023 04:51

I buy scratch cards secretly. I won £150 on one once. IRL I dismiss them as being chavvy but I love the thrill 😂i even change where I buy them as I think the shop assistant is judging me. I only ever buy 4 of the same. I Google the big prize odds before purchasing as I like to think I am being scientific. I’m not, obviously. Sometimes I do then whilst chatting to my Dad at his grave and I tell him the numbers as I scratch them off so he knows if ‘we’ are going to win or not. I also have a £20 monthly limit set up on 5 onlinebetting accounts and I play Jackpot King online slots with 10p stakes. I fantasise about what I’d do if I won. obviously I won’t, ever.

I play the Archers on the BBC sounds app at my Dad’s grave when I’m alone and no one else is around so he can ‘hear’ the episode. I also listen to the Archers now he is dead so that they don’t lose their audience member numbers. I don’t even really like the Archers. I clean the gravestones of my dad’s ‘neighbours’ when I clean his headstone as I think he would’ve done the same. He was a kind man.

I do a ‘piece to camera’ a la Nigella when i’m prepping the family dinner when everyone is out explaining what I am doing.

I have a secret stash of chocolate that I know everyone likes so I can have a couple of squares in peace with a coffee. If it was in the official snack place, DH would eat it all in one go which pisses me off. In the snack drawer I leave Dark choc which no one likes.

I secretly read erotic fiction on my phone in bed to get me in the mood if I think DH is likely to want middle of the night/morning sex. Sex is massively important to him but menopause means my natural libido is shite so I assist it a bit. I particularly enjoy voyeuristic stories. Everyone is happy.

I buy jars of maraschino cocktail cherries which I hide at the back of the cupboard and eat one every now and again. It is the taste of an 80’s childhood.

I’ve written most of a book which I’m going to send to a publisher this year. None of my family know. I’m secretly quite a good writer and I’m quite funny. You wouldn’t think that if you knew me.

I have an ‘Aya Stark’ style shit list that I repeat silently to myself before going to sleep. I also thank God for the day I’ve had, even if it was crap.,Most people think I am easy going. I’m really not. I have a memory like an elephant.

I sometimes go to a weekday morning mass. I light a candle if a friend is having a bad time and say a prayer. I don’t tell them I’ve done this.

I secretly write letters to my narcissistic mother telling her about what a terrible mother she was. I’ll never send them. I will put them into her coffin.

My secret behaviours are a hangover from a shit childhood. No one really knows how awful my mother was to me. To the world I present that I am confident, successful and well-adjusted. This is how I piss my mother off who thinks despite trying that she didn’t really ‘get to me’. She did. I’ve had to overcome years of being told how unlikeable I was by the person who should’ve been my champion. Not disclosing anything became my default position. I was a great keeper of secrets to my friends as nothing was private at my home. Consequently I disappeared into my own head where I championed myself as a coping mechanism and was my safe place where my mother couldn’t go when I was a child. As a result of this, I am a great mother to my own child.

This is very moving, some if it resonates with me, apart from the writing! Maybe I should start buying scratch cards!

Piecetocamera · 23/03/2023 15:50

@Peanuts2000 since I wrote this, I won £200 on a scratchcard and my Mum has died. It was only me with her at the end and I know that’d really piss her off.

Tbh, I feel like my life is just beginning.

I hope you are ok.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 23/03/2023 15:57

@Piecetocamera 💐Happy New Life

Original poster
Frt · 23/03/2023 16:09

@Piecetocamera Ditto, happy new phase of life. Enjoy every minute Smile

OP posts:
REP22 · 23/03/2023 16:26

@Piecetocamera congratulations... onwards with strength. Best wishes to you and keep smiling xx

Peanuts2000 · 24/03/2023 12:47

Piecetocamera · 23/03/2023 15:50

@Peanuts2000 since I wrote this, I won £200 on a scratchcard and my Mum has died. It was only me with her at the end and I know that’d really piss her off.

Tbh, I feel like my life is just beginning.

I hope you are ok.

@Piecetocamera I wish you happiness in the future and success in your writing.
I am fine thank you, my mother is very hard work but sounds nothing like what you have been through. Here's hoping for a big scratch card win! X

Tabitha1960 · 25/05/2023 00:39

When I feel lonely and sad about it I snuggle under the duvet and imagine a gorgeous, kind man is snuggled with me and I whisper a two-way dialogue between him and me, mostly playing the part of him, saying to me "I love you so so so much, and I will never, ever leave you."

BensonStabler · 26/05/2023 01:12

TheEarlofButties · 16/02/2023 12:10

When I finish a really good book I give it a kiss and a hug and say thank you. I’ve always done it so must have started as a little kid.

This is so cute 🥰

Ohdofuckofdear · 26/05/2023 02:39

Quite a few things and you'll all think I'm nuts so I'm glad none of you know who I am.

I talk to myself but only when I'm alone, I had a bad time growing up and it started then.

I say goodbye and thank you when we're leaving a holiday to the place we've stayed at, it's something my mum used to do when we went on holiday and I've never grown out of it,my DH knows and thankfully thinks it's cute.

I talk to my Dogs and for them all the time but I thought everybody did that 😁

suchasocialhierachy · 26/05/2023 02:52

ivfbabymomma1 · 16/02/2023 11:56

It's hardly an x rated secret but I do have Botox and don't tell anyone

Your friends will have noticed 😅

coxesorangepippin · 26/05/2023 03:11

I choose a Jane Austen film or tv show and binge eat Regency appropriate food. So for example if I’m watching Emma I will try and recreate the Box Hill picnic or if im watching Pride & Prejudice I’ll try and recreate Mr Bingley’s Netherfield Ball supper.

^^

This is fabulous!!

TongueTwistr · 27/05/2023 18:55

suchasocialhierachy · 26/05/2023 02:52

Your friends will have noticed 😅

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... but it won't be frowned upon if they've had it too!

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