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Original poster

The secret things you do that no-one else knows....

596 replies

Frt · 16/02/2023 11:07

Every day that DP is out of the house at work, I buy an early-afternoon energy drink. They are rancid, sugary, unhealthy and downright common as muck but I absolutely love the buzz I get for the rest of the day. DP would be appalled with me if he found out 😅

My MN habit is a secret too. I don't have children, and I'm meant to have a professional, busy job which doesn't allow time for fucking about online. But here I am. I'm friends with a lot of women with young children who regularly talk about things being discussed on MN. I feign surprise or interest but I'm really thinking "Yeah, I saw that".

When I'm stressed and home alone, I talk to myself. I talk myself through what's getting me down, why, and what I need to do. I also reassure myself saying things like "Pull yourself together, it's fine, make a list and let's start at the top". I have no shame about this, I think its a perfectly normal thing to do. Except that I talk to myself in random accents. Today I went inexplicably scouse. My temporary foreign accent syndrome is the reason I keep this particularly activity a secret.

Tell me your secrets....

BTW, long-timer but NC just in case!

OP posts:
nopuppiesallowed · 16/02/2023 19:28

A past member of various AM Dram groups, I dream up then act out scenarios as if I'm being filmed (nothing outrageous!). I also write stories in my head (and have written some down - been seriously considered by agents, then dropped!).

girlmeetsboy · 16/02/2023 19:30

SnottyLottie · 16/02/2023 19:15

I choose a Jane Austen film or tv show and binge eat Regency appropriate food. So for example if I’m watching Emma I will try and recreate the Box Hill picnic or if im watching Pride & Prejudice I’ll try and recreate Mr Bingley’s Netherfield Ball supper. I sometimes even buy a bottle of wine or Prosecco and pretend I’m drinking fine wine or champagne 🤣 Sometimes I even wear an empire waisted maxi dress and regency inspired jewellery and pretend I’m a character in the story and play along 😳 I also LOVE doing this when watching Lost in Austen, and I pretend I’m Miss Amanda Price of Hammersmith 🫣

I have to get rid of the evidence before hubby comes back home (they get discarded off in a public bin). I can’t do it as often now I have to take care of the kids and with DH working from home. But on days where he’s in the office and the kids are at grandma’s you better believe that I’m sipping ‘champagne’ cosplaying as Elizabeth Bennett and having a fine time 😆🥰

I love this!!! I hope you have a frilly hanky and mimic Mrs Bennetts episodeswhilst watching!! I do this!!! - will only ever watch the Colin Darcy/Jennifer Earle series, absolutely not a fan of the wooden Kiera Knightley and have always refused to even watch it!

nopuppiesallowed · 16/02/2023 19:31

@Teelu There's a creative writing degree?

Wearingatshirt · 16/02/2023 19:31

Nothing too out there. I play something I know well or read the words to a song and sing it and dance as if I'm one of the backing singers. I then sometimes play the track again but this time being the lead singer.
If someone is too slow infront of me whilst I'm driving and I'm in a hurry, I flap my hand underneath the cockpit and say hurry up as if to hurry them along. I never do it when anyone else is in the car.
I also go in the next room and finger swear at my dh behind the door when he pisses me off. A bit childish but relieves the stress of the situation at the time.

GoingOnce · 16/02/2023 19:36

Only read page 1 so far but some of these are just brilliant. I particularly love the poster who gets her husband to leave money for the cleaner - her. Genius.

i

wastingyouthondishes · 16/02/2023 19:41

Your girls are definitely toning down their barbies lives for you- when we were kids our bqrbies were always having affairs and baths together and snogging and hiding under the bed. Then their wife or husband would come home and fight about it. Better than eastenders.
But when our mam came upstairs they were always baking or fighting over who burnt the cake not who was caught in the bath with the wrong wife!

IrritableCowSyndrome · 16/02/2023 19:43

Whenever I'm doing something, I seem to count in my head.

I count how many stairs I'm going up or down, how many things I'm hanging on the washing line, how many times I stir something in a saucepan etc ...

userxx · 16/02/2023 19:45

Pulipalaver · 16/02/2023 18:42

I absolutely detest my daughter. She is so like my ex husband. She does psychological torture on me. I can't wait for her to go I really dislike her.

I feel like the filthiest woman alive for confessing that.

But do you feel better for saying it out loud ? No judgment from me.

Teelu · 16/02/2023 19:45

nopuppiesallowed · 16/02/2023 19:31

@Teelu There's a creative writing degree?

Yeah a few different places offer it. Mine is through the OU so it's teamed up with English Lit there but not everywhere does that, some are the writing alone (although I do think the more you read, the better your writing will be too). Smile

Probably outing myself with this, but I once had a lovely conversation about writing degrees with the author Ian Rankin and he told me Edinburgh Uni does one where you can focus on different genres more than some other unis. I don't know if that's still the case though as that was a few years ago we were discussing it as I really like writing horror fiction. I freaked him out a little when I mentioned how I liked to kill some characters off though. Blush

Highlighta · 16/02/2023 19:45

If I can't fall asleep at night, me and Hugh Jackman have the most amazing intellectual conversations. But also some about very random shit. He likes red wine, but I prefer rose with ice.

(I don't even drink wine)

AudHvamm · 16/02/2023 19:45

Pick my nose and eat the bogies

Lollyloup95 · 16/02/2023 19:46

I talk to myself when I do a poo. Not to myself in a crazy way, but I offload to a pretend camera in the loo as if I'm in the diary room in big brother. I'm introverted and it helps me gather my thoughts!

Ludo19 · 16/02/2023 19:46

I talk to my cats. The cats also phone their granny (my mum) and tell her in their different voices about their day. I've also got a song book for them. I do their voices to each other too and tell them to keep their diary free if they have a vets appointment.

Lollyloup95 · 16/02/2023 19:46

AudHvamm · 16/02/2023 19:45

Pick my nose and eat the bogies

And this🙈

nopuppiesallowed · 16/02/2023 19:52

I shout at the 'woman' in my car who keeps telling me, "You are over the speed limit" when I accidentally drive at 31 mph in a 30mph zone. If she was a real woman instead of an automated voice thingy, she'd be dead by now.

YukoandHiro · 16/02/2023 19:53

I drink at least one can of Coke Zero every day, often two. It's a habit that started in lockdown and I can't seem to shift it.

soboredtonight · 16/02/2023 19:54

Binge eat
Run up the stairs on all fours sometimes

nxa · 16/02/2023 19:54

I watch dash cam crash videos on YouTube and I've no idea why. They're so boring. But there's some kid that posts a new one every week and I got into them a couple of years ago.

He's dedicated the channel to his dead grandad which is just too cute.

MaMisled · 16/02/2023 19:54

I interview myself " live on tv", about my mental illness 😧

Biffatcrafts · 16/02/2023 19:55

@OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow oh my, I'd love to have you as a friend too ...it would be such fun to be able to paint someone else's face too 😄

I do have amazing friends who I love dearly, but not one that I think would share my secret make-up time. I think most of them would think that spending several hours putting on make-up (whilst enjoying a glass or two) an incredible waste of time. Especially since it all gets washed off straight afterwards.

I remember I did once wear some sparkly plum coloured eyeshadow to my weekly dance class, and it was very much commented on, so I stick to my usual muted browns and greys these days. I feel so boring and invisible in real life when I just would love to be a bird of paradise (albeit a wrinkly one! 🤣🤣🤣)

PamDooove · 16/02/2023 19:56

IsItBedtimeYetNope · 16/02/2023 11:34

I snap my spaghetti in half instead of fannying around getting it in the pan whole like I used to. No one has noticed yet.

I do this! If I didn't the gas flame burns the end of it before it's floppy enough to be fully in the water!

Hawkins003 · 16/02/2023 19:58

@Frt
I must admit I talk to myself at times, my own version of therapy.
not really much else special about me as far as I'm aware.

CaveMum · 16/02/2023 20:00

@SnottyLottie you should tell your family you have to go away for a few days for work/visit a distant relative and go to the Jane Austen Ball/Festival

janeausten.co.uk/pages/festival-summer-ball

janeausten.co.uk/pages/festival-overview

Sadly this year’s Summer Ball is sold out, but there still the Festival, and you can always book tickets to the 2024 ball!

CatnaryReturns · 16/02/2023 20:00

Biffatcrafts · 16/02/2023 19:55

@OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow oh my, I'd love to have you as a friend too ...it would be such fun to be able to paint someone else's face too 😄

I do have amazing friends who I love dearly, but not one that I think would share my secret make-up time. I think most of them would think that spending several hours putting on make-up (whilst enjoying a glass or two) an incredible waste of time. Especially since it all gets washed off straight afterwards.

I remember I did once wear some sparkly plum coloured eyeshadow to my weekly dance class, and it was very much commented on, so I stick to my usual muted browns and greys these days. I feel so boring and invisible in real life when I just would love to be a bird of paradise (albeit a wrinkly one! 🤣🤣🤣)

I sometimes try on utterly ridiculous outfits in shops, the kind of thing I would not be seen dead in, just to see what it looks like as a costume. I prefer to do it in the kind of shops that have big changing rooms with heavy curtains.

Youpillock · 16/02/2023 20:00

KevinsChilli · 16/02/2023 16:15

Matched betting - make a nice amount of money from it, but couldn't explain it to friends as they wouldn't understand.

I so wish I knew how to do this. I did it a few years ago but only made about £100 after loads of effort. I told a few people at the time but they definitely thought I was gambling, no matter how much I explained!!