The secret things you do that no-one else knows....

[Frt]

Every day that DP is out of the house at work, I buy an early-afternoon energy drink. They are rancid, sugary, unhealthy and downright common as muck but I absolutely love the buzz I get for the rest of the day. DP would be appalled with me if he found out 😅

My MN habit is a secret too. I don't have children, and I'm meant to have a professional, busy job which doesn't allow time for fucking about online. But here I am. I'm friends with a lot of women with young children who regularly talk about things being discussed on MN. I feign surprise or interest but I'm really thinking "Yeah, I saw that".

When I'm stressed and home alone, I talk to myself. I talk myself through what's getting me down, why, and what I need to do. I also reassure myself saying things like "Pull yourself together, it's fine, make a list and let's start at the top". I have no shame about this, I think its a perfectly normal thing to do. Except that I talk to myself in random accents. Today I went inexplicably scouse. My temporary foreign accent syndrome is the reason I keep this particularly activity a secret.

Tell me your secrets....

BTW, long-timer but NC just in case!

When my husband's away on business I eat cut-up sausages, mash and gravy... from a bowl.... with a spoon..... in bed....

I talk to myself all day long 😂

Post on several forums regularly.

I quite often let the dish washing pile up to a bad level, I just cba with them!!

Like a pp. I make up mumsnet posts and replies in my head.

I hide chocolate in my wardrobe to eat in secret, quite often in the middle of the night.

I make up stories in my head where I'm a character (I've done this ever since I was a child!

When listening to music in the car or on my headphones in the gym, I imagine it's the sound track in a film.

I take anti depressants and have done for years - none of my family or friends are aware.

Oh God, stuff like that is soooo satisfying! I also like to watch spots and cysts being burst, tartar scraped off teeth and ear wax being cleaned out.

The toe bro.
I love him and also Dr Pimple popper .😀

That's awesome! I would love you as a friend!

I am sorry you are feeling so low. I've been there and it's hideous. Hugs to you

I am part of a social group where the topic often turns to elaborate meals people have cooked. I cook nice things because I need to eat but I also like a big piece of Davidstow cheddar and a bag of frazzles when no one is about .

Bahahaha! We need to be friends. I'm not reading fanfic now when I should be doing housework - I deny everything 😂

Binge eat
Talk to myself. Well I actually do this even when I'm not alone I just have more intense convos when i'm alone.😂

There’s a lot about YouTube videos here. I might have the weirdest one… I am crazy about tummy rumbles. The sound of a tummy digesting is my favourite. When my kids are babies, I listen to their tummies whenever I can, until they’re old enough to think it’s weird. I once bought a stethoscope to listen to my own (it didn’t work well enough to really take off as a hobby for me). And… I listen to videos of tummies gurgling on YouTube. A few times a week.

Perhaps engage a cleaner who can fit you in before lunch.

I absolutely detest my daughter. She is so like my ex husband. She does psychological torture on me. I can't wait for her to go I really dislike her.

I feel like the filthiest woman alive for confessing that.

so do I, along with cysts, blackheads, tonsil stones, tartar removed from teeth, the grosser the better !

Any other controlling behaviour?

I interrupt with my intrusive and embarrassing thoughts with the mantra, ‘I’m getting married’. I’m not getting married. I’m already married. It just seems to really help when I start thinking about things like that time I walked into a lamppost in front of the boy I fancied and he laughed his head off at me when I was 14.

I'm a bit addicted to shoplifting from supermarket self service checkouts. Waitrose & the co op where I live don't have scales and it is ridiculously easy. Never a large amount of stuff but the odd bit here and there, it gives me a bit of a thrill and obviously I know it's theft.. I could get caught etc... but just can't help myself.

Loads of grim things. Always look at my Pooh in the toilet, always look at the Pooh on the toilet paper as I wipe. When alone, put loads of food in my mouth all at once so I can only just chew. Or a huge square of ready made pasta, shove it in when most people would cut it in half. Scratch the middle of my back with a ruler/wire hairbrush/pair of kitchen scissors.

I watch the Hoof GP video of trimming cows hoofs. No idea why but I always imagine how grateful the poor cow must be.
Sing and dance in the mirror pretending I am in my 20s and still clubbing.
Narrate my book that has been in progress over twenty years.
Make faces , stick my tongue out behind family's backs . Not been caught yet.

I want to be your friend so we can give each other mad make overs. Dd used to enable me, but she’s all grown up now.
Apart from that, just the usual, sporn videos and talking to myself.
Do you want to know DH’s? He plays Pokemon go. He’s 65 next month.

I talk to inanimate objects when I'm alone. When the kitchen timer goes off and I'm busy I shout "I heard you the first timer" at it, I talk to the washing machine, and have monologues to my motorbike, who has a name.

I'm officially a rational atheist but I have house gods I greet or dip my head to (the constellation Orion is one, the moon another, and the Spirit Of The House) and rituals I observe, even as I laugh at myself for doing them.

I choose a Jane Austen film or tv show and binge eat Regency appropriate food. So for example if I’m watching Emma I will try and recreate the Box Hill picnic or if im watching Pride & Prejudice I’ll try and recreate Mr Bingley’s Netherfield Ball supper. I sometimes even buy a bottle of wine or Prosecco and pretend I’m drinking fine wine or champagne 🤣 Sometimes I even wear an empire waisted maxi dress and regency inspired jewellery and pretend I’m a character in the story and play along 😳 I also LOVE doing this when watching Lost in Austen, and I pretend I’m Miss Amanda Price of Hammersmith 🫣

I have to get rid of the evidence before hubby comes back home (they get discarded off in a public bin). I can’t do it as often now I have to take care of the kids and with DH working from home. But on days where he’s in the office and the kids are at grandma’s you better believe that I’m sipping ‘champagne’ cosplaying as Elizabeth Bennett and having a fine time 😆🥰

So sorry you feel that way. But this is "tell us a secret thing you do" like a habit, not "tell us a secret".

I've read through 12 pages, thinking 'there must be something that I do, too, something will jog my memory..'
There is NOTHING. My God, I am BORING.

This made me laugh, love doing that but can just picture the confusion on your coworkers faces 😂