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Epsom College Murder Suicide

1000 replies

PleaseStopSayingHuBbY · 07/02/2023 11:10

I'm shocked but not surprised. This world is depressing and scary for women.

OP posts:
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LuckySantangelo35 · 07/02/2023 12:43

Naunet · 07/02/2023 12:42

I feel pity for them, they bury their heads in the sand so they can pretend this world is safer for them and less hateful of women than it really is. It’s pathetic and weak, but understandable to a degree.

totally agree with you
they need to wake up though

I cannot stand the ‘not all men’ wah wah thing

ClaphamSouth · 07/02/2023 12:45

Sadly, I feel no surprise at the police's explanation of these deaths. It comes to something when you realise you'd have been relieved if it was revealed they'd died from CM poisoning.

RIP Emma and Lettie Flowers

CallieQ · 07/02/2023 12:45

AdamRyan · 07/02/2023 11:24

Wonder if the "why would you assume it's a man?/speculation is bad as NAMALT" posters are going to apologise now for how rude some of them were on threads yesterday.
I doubt it.

RIP Emma and Lettie Sad

Exactly this
We don't know what happened yet

What is a NAMALT poster

LizzieSiddal · 07/02/2023 12:46

He’s a murdering cowardly CUNT.

My heart goes out to that little girl and that amazing women who have been subjected to god knows from him, for years

Why is it that the vast, vast majority of violence in this world is by MEN? We need to campaign to start naming violence as male violence across all media.

taperjogger · 07/02/2023 12:46

NAMALT means not all men are like this.

MsMarch · 07/02/2023 12:46

"Sources said that George Pattison had not been previously reported to the police. However, in 2016 he reported his wife to Surrey police for allegedly striking him. She was spoken to by officers but her husband swiftly withdrew the complaint, saying it was trivial"

"striking him" - god, this just screams RED FLAGs right there. I know we should absolutely not jump to conclusions but all the most abusive men I've heard of, at some point, have actually reported or threatened to report their partners to the police.

justgettingthroughtheday · 07/02/2023 12:46

DesertRose64 · 07/02/2023 12:23

A woman has been arrested in London for trying to stab her 3 children to death yesterday.

The youngest of whom was 3 months old which to me suggests severe postnatal mental health issues.
Not at all relevant to this case!

CallieQ · 07/02/2023 12:48

I imagine he had very severe mental health issues too

EmmaGrundyForPM · 07/02/2023 12:48

BoredOfThisMansWorld · 07/02/2023 12:09

The fact that some women murder does not change the fact that the vast majority (over 90%) of ALL violent and sex crimes are committed by males.

And the main reason that people are more likely to be killed by people/ a man known to them is ease of access for the killer.

I don't hate men. I have gazillions in my family, I'm nurturing boys, three of my closest friends are men. But as a society we urgently need to reassess how we raise boys. Root out the messages in our culture and socialisation which make abuse of superior physical strength an option and which place women and children in lesser status as objects, props or belongings in men's lives.

This.

I'm married to.a man and am the mother of two sons. I still think there's an issue around male violence that isn't being addressed.

These aren't isolated incidents, they are the result of a cultural problem that is rooted in misogyny

Naunet · 07/02/2023 12:48

CallieQ · 07/02/2023 12:48

I imagine he had very severe mental health issues too

He had a gun licence, so no.

TicketBoo23 · 07/02/2023 12:48

MsMarch · 07/02/2023 12:46

"Sources said that George Pattison had not been previously reported to the police. However, in 2016 he reported his wife to Surrey police for allegedly striking him. She was spoken to by officers but her husband swiftly withdrew the complaint, saying it was trivial"

"striking him" - god, this just screams RED FLAGs right there. I know we should absolutely not jump to conclusions but all the most abusive men I've heard of, at some point, have actually reported or threatened to report their partners to the police.

No better way of getting your partner to drop a DV report than to report them for DV or threaten to.

BlingLoving · 07/02/2023 12:49

Fascinating how everyone thinks this was signposted becuase she was the focus of the story. Patriarchy at work. She was the focus of the original stories becuase she's the head teacher at a "prestigious" school. I guarantee that if he was the head teacher and ALSO the perpetrator, the original stories would still all have been, "head teacher, wife and child found dead in family home." And then once the news came out, the headlines would be "head teacher kills wife and child before turning gun on himself."

It just jars because most of us aren't used to the woman being the focus of a story.

Is anyone else finding all the stories still running with the happy family picture of them disturbing!? I wish they'd change the image.

MarshaBradyo · 07/02/2023 12:49

Northernlurker · 07/02/2023 12:43

We DO know the circumstances.

A bright, brilliant woman is dead.
Her very young female child is dead.
Everybody who knows them is traumatised and horrified.

Her husband, the child's father, pulled the trigger.

This was a shotgun I assume as it's unlikely he had any other sort of licence unless he was a sportsman.
Shotguns in a domestic setting will do terrible damage. I'll say no more than that.
It was his gun it appears, he knew that.

Nope, no compassion for him from me. Violent men commit crimes because they see women as less than themselves. It's as simple and as terrible as that.

So distressing. Angry and sad. Not sure how to get message across men need to stop killing women and children as part of their own end of life decisions

Icanbelieveithappened · 07/02/2023 12:49

I went to school with Emma. She was bright, capable, very musical. I am so angry that another woman and child has ended up dead at the hands of someone who was supposed to love them. I simply despair

Scout2016 · 07/02/2023 12:49

For those who aren't in the NAMALT camp, Joan Smith's Home Grown is a fascinating if depressing look at how domestic violence and violence against women and girls isn't taken seriously enough in terms of risk posed. For example the Manchester bomber had physically assaulted a girl at college but it wasn't taken seriously and not properly prosecuted so when risk assessing him it's missed - no criminal record. Likewise known DV perps in US are allowed guns and then kill people. Apparently cruelty to animals is a seen as more of a red flag for risk assessors than violence against women.

GoldenCupidon · 07/02/2023 12:51

There is absolutely nothing bloody isolated about this incident, I can't be the only one who had a parade of similar circumstances go through their mind when they heard about this.

That guy at the beginning of lockdown who killed his wife and daughters and himself, I think her relatives had to discover them.

That guy a few years ago who tempted his little boys up to the attic with a new trainset, blocked the door then set the house on fire with them all inside.

That guy who took his kids to the woods and murdered them then jumped off a cliff while their mum was at home waiting for them to come home.

I'm not even going to mention women doing this because it's extremely rare and more importantly it's got nothing to do with what happened at the weekend.

I remember being a child myself and reading an article about family annihilators and who they were, why were they usually men etc, that must be 25 years ago, but nothing seems to have changed.

Is there even good research on this? Is our government monitoring where and how these things happen?

lifeturnsonadime · 07/02/2023 12:51

Apparently cruelty to animals is a seen as more of a red flag for risk assessors than violence against women.

That figures.

Women just aren't really seen as fully human.

Whyisitsososohard · 07/02/2023 12:51

As soon as I heard about this I thought it would be murder suicide. That poor woman and her child. I just hope the didn't suffer. RIPxx

XelaM · 07/02/2023 12:53

CaveMum · 07/02/2023 11:24

Sadly this was always the most likely explanation. I don't think I have ever heard of a "family annihilation" perpetrated by a woman.

Darkie Routier is the only one that comes to mind. Although I always thought she was innocent

XelaM · 07/02/2023 12:53

XelaM · 07/02/2023 12:53

Darkie Routier is the only one that comes to mind. Although I always thought she was innocent

Darlie

reesewithoutaspoon · 07/02/2023 12:53

Sadly not shocked that it was him. How sad is that that you know what the likely cause was because it's so fucking common?
I swear to god though if they start describing him as a happily married loving father blah blah and broadcast interviews of neighbours saying what a lovely man he was and etc etc then I,m going to lose my shit.

MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake · 07/02/2023 12:53

Hbh17 · 07/02/2023 12:27

I am female, and I believe it is still possible to feel compassion for someone who commits a crime. None of us know the circumstances, and it is still sad that 3 young people have died.

He murdered them, they didn't just die. And 'sad' is such a pathetically limp word to describe the brutal murder of a mother and daughter.

I have zero compassion for men like this.

Theunamedcat · 07/02/2023 12:55

Tamarindtree · 07/02/2023 11:40

It’s a terrible thing to happen to that family but I disagree that the world is depressing and scary for women.

i certainly don’t feel that way and neither does any female in my family or friends.

Did you take a straw poll?

NotAnotherBathBomb · 07/02/2023 12:56

Intrepidescape · 07/02/2023 12:42

I have. It happens in my country (Australia). The last one the woman murdered her children while her husband went out to pick up a new tv. There isn’t support for mental health illnesses here. Of course there are so many government health campaigns about how important mental health is and to seek help. But for anyone trying to seek help in either the government or private system it’s next to impossible to even see a psychiatrist.

If you go to hospital they will discharge you as soon as you’re calm.

That isn’t family annihilation. Seeing as the husband was spared 🙄

taperjogger · 07/02/2023 12:56

Women are seen as less valuable / additional / secondary. Men are still made to feel the most important and to be deferred to in more scenarios than women are. It's deeply rooted and swept under the carpet in modern society. Of course there are sexism and discrimination laws but they don't reach all parts and all elements of societal interaction.

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