A successful woman at the top of her game and her beautiful daughter died at the hands of someone who was not mentally ill. They were killed by someone who was filled with self-aggrandisement and who had developed a hatred for the woman he was supposed to love because she overshadowed him in every respect.
9 years ago I was on maternity leave from my teaching job at a private boarding school. My husband also worked there. Not a single person knew of the abuse I had suffered at his hands for 10 years. In public, I was known for my staunch feminism and I stood up for the rights of my female pupils at a sexist and outdated institution. In private, I was terrorized. I left my family home suddenly when my baby was months old. I moved a few hours away but continued to be threatened and harassed. A colleague contacted me to say he feared my then-husband was going to harm me because of things he had said about me amongst friends, but also in school. I went to the police terrified he was going to kill me and informed them that he had access to guns through his school CCF role. The police were initially skeptical and dismissive, but became sympathetic after hearing my story. However, they admitted there was not much they could do- there was no evidence and no previous. This was just before the changes in law regarding coercive control (Scotland). They directed me to Women's Aid, which I went to and will be eternally grateful for. I was one of the lucky ones. I endured a further 6 years of harassment, threats and fear, but there were no attempts on my life. Had I settled in a town nearer to him, I genuinely don't know what the outcome would have been. The absolute paranoia and fear that he would kill my family or myself was real and was something that built up quickly after years of an established abuse pattern. I only left because I could not bear the thought of my child being left alone with this man were I to die.
Unfortunately these things are text book. Emma will have experienced years of abuse - even if people who knew her express surprise/state there was no inkling of this, she will have suffered. This will not have been an impulsive moment or a crime of passion by that vile cretin. The extremity of the violence will have built up over a period of time - possibly a short time, but it will have built. However, an abusive cycle will have been in place for years. Emma will have been terrified, and thoughts of the most terrible outcome will have likely entered her head. I hope to God her child was asleep. I lit a candle tonight for Emma and for Lettie. I abhor the man who did this.